You Got Mail.

Two pairs of jeans.

A necklace.

And now three new headbands (see them jumbled together above).

All arrived in the mail today/yesterday.

Apparently I shop (and do not sleep) when I am stressed out. 

Funny I didn't know that about myself until now.

One more day of chemo to go.

Wayne was able to go with me and Caeden to his Kindergarten orientation tonight. Caeden rocked it. Said to his teacher, 

"It is very nice to meet you," with his hand extended. 

...I have such a soft spot for a boy with manners.

(And online shopping.)

Today. Wednesday. Day8.

I promise this is the last picture of this series. :)

Wayne has 3 more days of chemo. He sleeps a lot. 

He's doing just fine.

I wish he blogged so he could tell you first hand what he's thinking and feeling. I wish I could give you more insight on his
side of things, but I can't. He just tells me he is okay.
And I wish we could all get a little more out of him,
but that's how he is...

Mom is here. 

She brought cupcakes and laughter.

Advice and perspective.

Her amazing gift of listening.

Sometimes a girl just needs her Mom.

No matter how old you are.
 

For Tuesday.

My Mom. She witnessed my nervous breakdown over the phone last week and thought she better come help me out. The truth is, things are going much smoother than we anticipated, and I feel guilty for asking her to come. 

Except, it will be nice to get some work done while she is here to help.

(So, blog post tonight because tomorrow will be busy with Mom and work stuff.)

Got on a kick with the chalkboard. Forgive me?

Caeden hates the camera, so these days it's just Claire. I love when she plays with my hair...

This is the picture I posted on Facebook, so some of you have already seen it. But it is my hands down favorite. Snuggling is my absolute favorite thing to do. Love this so much.

Someone asked me the other day what I did with all these photos. Well, besides blogging (which I print into books), I print a ton (but not as much as I should) and I also make albums. My favorite company is Dream Album. They make exquisite albums and also the very best proofing boxes that hold mounted 5x7 portraits (so you can rotate your 'works of art.')
Click here to see what I do with all these pictures I take ... and of course, I make it available to you when you book a session with me.

I am in the process of putting together my {In the Moment} giveaway, and will announce it next week.

In Wayne news, he is doing great. Tired but completely functional. Looking forward to knocking this week out and having a week break...

Waited.

I waited a really long time to be a Mom.

I traveled everywhere, got an amazing education, spent my time how I pleased.

I look back on my time before my children, and I think, perhaps I just wasn't ready. It took me longer.

And while I loved my life before them, knowing what I know now, it makes me sad.

Because life with them is the way I have truly learned what love is.

The kind of love that makes me happiest, craziest, the most content; it's all encompassing and real.

Becoming a Mother is the best thing I have ever done.

And I wish I wouldn't have waited so long to find all of that out.

But, I believe things are meant to be, and I do believe...

They were worth the wait.

The pictures I will be sharing over the next couple of days were rocked by my sister. We went to Sloan's Lake yesterday (5280 Magazine said it was up and coming ... sort of still waiting for that part). We dodged baseballs, goose droppings (an unnatural amount, really), and the guys (Jordan & Wayne) to get these shots.

They make me crazy happy!

But then again, it's my kids we're talking about.

What We Do.

While Wayne sleeps:

I take the kids to the gym. I hop on the treadmill next to a woman who ups her speed to "sprinting as fast as I can," and I try to ignore her and do my own thing. Except I keep upping my speed because I feel lazy, and by the end of my workout, I can hardly breathe and she is STILL RUNNING.

Then.

Come home and check on Wayne. Still sleeping.

Out we go again for McDonalds (which is something I swore I would NEVER let my kids eat, but until they come up with a healthy place that has a play area, what is a Mom to do on a windy, cold day?).

Run to Best Buy for Bose earphone plugs because I lost mine somewhere in between the locker room and the treadmill.

(They don't have them. Must special order.)

Come home and look at photography online because it is too cold to shoot outside and I am in withdrawals.

Sketch a storyboard for tomorrow. Tomorrow I am headed to Sloan Lake with the kids for a photo shoot. Lindsay is going to rock my camera and get some shots of me with the kids (because, looking around the house, you wouldn't even know I existed. No pictures.). 

I cannot wait.

Oh, yeah, and I also dream of THIS HAIR. I mean, come on! Who is this? And how do I make my dark hair dance like THAT?

So, that's what we do...

when he sleeps.

Today is Day 5.

via Tara.

This picture is from the amazing Tara Whitney. 

I want her to take our pictures next time we are in California.

This shot reminds me of being carefree.
Is there anything better?

Wayne is tired and cold. He is slowing down.

Today is his 5th treatment; he gets the weekend off.

And then treatment again all next week.

He is still eating.

And.

All you Mamas ... 

Happy, Happy Mother's Day.

XO

Val

Day 4. Perspective.

Wayne is getting really tired. But he is in great spirits and is powering through.

Considering his last cocktail - he was usually checked out - way checked out - or hospitalized by now.

He is still eating (and eating healthy!) and was able to drive himself to chemo. I can tell he is starting to slow down, and anticipate this will be the last of his DIY days, though.

This afternoon I am hauling Claire outside and we're going to take pictures. The flu has hit us all pretty hard this week, so some fresh air is most definitely needed ...

Since I don't have one of my own to post (but I will for you tomorrow!), here are a few shots that have inspired me lately:

Via NicholeV

This one struck me as funny considering Dave and Wayne are making all the wine for Lindsay's wedding... :)

Via Style Me Pretty (I think??)

Day 3.

Chemo starts this afternoon. Wayne is feeling a bit more tired than usual, but thanks to a hilarious text from Randy this morning, he has a smile on his face.

The wind will not stop blowing! 

Thinking about an { In the Moment } Photography giveaway! The contest will swirl around a FREE session and Digital copyright release. And, I travel. So everyone has a chance to win! Stay tuned.

A couple of fun finds at Target. Don't you just love when something actually works?!

Apply this after your moisturizer. Your foundation will look flawless. Seriously.

I've got really dry skin lately. I have a couple of spots on my hand that I actually asked my Dermatologist to stitch up because they just won't heal. Super dry skin. So anyway, I found this stuff. It smells incredible ... and makes skin feel like satin. I love it so much I have thought about buying every last bottle on the shelf in case it is ever discontinued.

Both found at Target. Which is where you can usually find me, too. ;)

Listening to Taylor Swift/John Mayer's "Half of My Heart" and staring out my window at my yard. There's a good chance there's a flagstone patio installation in my future. And next time I whine about being overwhelmed? Remind me I do it to my myself, would you??

Day 2.

Wayne is doing fantastic. Really rocking it. Able to drive himself and function well.

Just wanted you all to know not to worry. So far so good!!

Today I am spending the day outside with the kids. And my camera. Going to chill and breathe and nothing else.

Day 2. Much better than Day 1...  :)

P.S. Can you imagine this?? Bliss!
Image via decor8 via Anita Kaushal

Haze.

Blogger is messed up today and won't let me post pictures or links. So, I guess this is just a story telling day.

Wayne is having chemo as I type this. His port access is good (a port is a device inserted surgically under his skin to act as an instant IV to administer chemo).

He left this morning with a smile.

I cried and could not look at him.

He has texted me already to tell me things are going slow but good.

We have two weeks of this.

I have no idea how he is going to feel. Or if he will want to eat.

So, I wander around the house in a haze.

Should let my OCD cleaning tendencies kick in but I don't have the energy.

Should do laundry but I am not.

Claire has a fever. I am doing lots of baths to cool her off.

Caeden cried and cried this morning when he woke up when I told him Wayne was starting chemo again (for those who don't know, he has been on break for 5 months). That usually means a sick Dad, a distracted, stressed out Mom, and a lot of talk that children shouldn't have to hear, like, "Well, at least this time I don't have a drip line of Doxirubicin, so the kids can sit near me."

I walk around the house, with so much to do, but completely bogged by down by what I am thinking about.

Is this really our life?

Yesterday I called my Mom. I mostly cried but she still listened to me. I told her how I wasn't doing a good job at anything and I didn't think I had it in me to be what everyone needs me to be.

She said I just needed to go get a cup of coffee and regroup. She will be here in a week to help us all do things like that.

Thank GOD for Mom. Totally brings me back down to earth with a good laugh and some perspective to face the world with.

And Wayne. He is ready. And prepared. And doing it.

And so I walk around in a useless haze, trying to get my act together.

Lovely.

Weekend in Pictures

Linz is officially in her adorable, cute, charming, old Highlands house.

It has fantastic light fixtures, old school heating, and a vintage kitchen that makes me want to throw on an apron.

Besides moving and cleaning, we headed to the wedding dress alterations place for her FINAL fitting.

Oh. My. Jordan.

Wait until you see.

She is a vision in every way.

Stunning.

And she's counting down until she is yours.

Lucky, lucky man.

Whenever we're together it usually involves Chipotle and John Mayer, so the laptop/chip picture is my favorite. There's something about the warm weather, good music, and guac to really get a girl in a good mood!

The top picture is of the store, Wordpress, in the Highlands. This bar with chairs is outside, and it makes me think of Nikki and John every time I walk by it.

Yellow. Purse. 

And me. 

More shots of Lindsay's place. Old fashioned screen door
(I want one!), glass door knobs, hardwood floors, and beautiful yellow flowers blooming out front.

I think she may have to break it to me gently that I do not live there, too. I kinda want to. In a 'I have a family but they don't really miss me for an afternoon' sort of way. 

P.S. I love my iPhone. Taking pictures without them having to be technically correct is so liberating, people!

xoxo

Val

Into the Weekend | Treatment Begins Monday

Wayne

1. Wayne starts chemo on Monday.

2. He (we) is/are relieved and hopefully optimistic because the studies done on this new cocktail have shown  promising results for Osteosarcoma (similar to the Chondrosarcoma he has).

3. Has the weekend to get his things in order and be with the kids (before his counts drop and needing to be away from them).

Caeden

1. Soccer

2. Birthday Party

3. Toy store for a surprise that I said he could have MANY days ago that he won't forget about. :)

Claire

1. She is a honey, but oh my ... I can tell she is almost 2. Giving me a run for my money!

Me

1. Helping my sister move into an adorable house in the Highlands area today. SO EXCITED FOR HER.

2. Getting ready for chemo and all that comes with it. This time last year I was a complete mess. I could hardly function and I didn't sleep. (I know most my family was right there with me on that.) This year, we all seem more ... prepared. I do think I have everything under control.

Except.

Yesterday when I picked Caeden up at school, a girlfriend of mine (and teacher) stopped me in the hall to say that everyone was thinking about us and wanted to know what they could do to help. Innocent and sweet, but I burst into tears! (I think it's just anxiety. I need to calm down!). The genuine concern is overwhelming and so appreciated. And, really, it all comes from loving Caeden the way they do. Thank you Little Blessings Preschool.

Anyway. 

Wayne is ready. And Monday will be here whether I like it or not. 

So ... here we go.

Today ... So Random.

Too lazy to search for my camera manual, I just googled it. I am almost a little sad I had to live without the internet in my younger years. Think of all that time I could have wasted online ... being lazy...but resourceful!

Today I am in a country music sort of mood. It's snowing outside and it feels good to have something low-key playing.  Here's a peek what my old school playlist looks like today...

Here is my new favorite eye candy: Peekaboo Photography. If I can make my dream happen of having both - a studio and land for natural light (still my passion) - I would want it to be like this company... I adore.

I have many a girlfriend who are all on the fitness bandwagon. Big time. Running marathons like crazy people. And, once upon a time, I was like that, too. Running a marathon is still on my "have to do before I can't" list. Training for them takes so much time. I don't have that.

But I do have my treadmill at the gym to keep me in check ... and maybe I'll run that marathon yet. Anyway, all you ladies out there who are doing this - do you ever run in skirts? I am seeing them all over the place at the gym and they are so dang cute. Let me know!

 This one from Lululemon (how did you know that was coming?)

A Bit of This. Of That.

Working on Lindsay's bridal shower invitations. Wondering why in the world I thought it would be a good idea to do a swirl frame (killer to cut out).

Love how they are turning out and love the finishing touch (a surprise for all you attending :)

*

Caeden is working on his own creations, and since it's past lunch time and I have not fed in him in awhile, he says, "Mom, I'm going upstairs to get some grapes."

"Sounds good little man ..." 

He knows I am focused on the invitations and and he knows the country music I have blaring down here pretty much would muffle out anything he attempted to say ...

So he leaves. For a long time.

When he returns (with a huge smile) I immediately regret not going up to the kitchen with him.

"I ate ALL THREE cupcakes, Mom." - The ones I use as bribery, mostly.

Is it wrong that I am relieved that I don't have to make lunch?

*

Have I been living under a rock? Totally loving Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift.

My (someday) Farmhouse.

I came across this picture today from 

the blog The Lettered Cottage. 

It stopped me in my tracks. It is my vision of perfection (in the kitchen, that is).

I love the open, white upper cabinets. I love the gray/blue lower cabinets (it anchors the entire room). 

I adore the dark wood floors.

The pretty flowers on the island. 

The vintage light fixtures.

Beadboard ...

Sigh.

Someday I will have a farmhouse. And my kitchen will look just like this. Just like this.

And then it gets me dreaming about what else surrounds that farmhouse. A photography studio that allows me to walk to work? A giant yard full of green grass and lots of trees for gorgeous backdrops. A huge garage for all the props I tend to collect...

Isn't dreaming fun??

Right Now: LuluLemon & Music.

Listening to this new playlist:

Inspired by my favorite yoga store lululemon. The exterior of their (reusable) bag states all of this:

BREATHE DEEPLY

and appreciate the moment. 

Living in the moment could be the meaning of life.

Live near the ocean and inhale the pure salt 

air that flows over the water.

The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time.

Choose a POSITIVE thought.

Communication is COMPLICATED.

Nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce.

Mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, 

and will give you a lousy life.

Life is full of setbacks.

Success is determined by how you handle them.

The world is changing at such a rapid rate 

that waiting to implement 

changes will leave you 2 steps behind.

DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW!

Drink fresh water and as much water as you can. 

Water flushes unwanted

toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.

Dance, SING, Floss and Travel.

Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

SWEAT once a day.

Your outlook on life is a direct reflection 

of how much you like yourself.

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN, AND THEN ASK STRATEGIC QUESTIONS.

Don't trust that an old age pension will be sufficient.

That which matters the MOST

should never give way to that

which matters the LEAST.

Children are the orgasm of life.

Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one,nature does not let you know how 

great children are until you have them.

Creativity is maximized when you're

LIVING IN THE MOMENT.

He.

1. Doesn't look at the camera unless it's too make a ridiculous face.

2. I (kind of) like the challenge.

3. Got hit in the lip with a phone (by his sister) this morning and it bled and bled. He did not retaliate. 

4. Made me love him all the more.

5. Loves Randy. (Is Wayne's friend who came over last night.) Caeden referred to him as, "Heisinger," when he left (his last name) and acted like they were BFFs. So sweet.

6. Makes me so excited that Kaycee will be here soon with the kids so we can do that sort of thing all the time.

7. He has just a couple of weeks of school left.

8. Loves to swim. 

9. Trying to figure soccer out (me too!).

10. Could live on Clif Fruit Bars if I would let him.

11. Gives sweet kisses in the morning and loves to snuggle.  

I really love that about him.

12. Is into art in a very big way. Art time is his favorite.

13. Is a great conversationalist. Can hold his own with most anyone. Adult or child. It's impressive.

14. I don't have a picture of him from this weekend (Snowed 4 days in a row here but nowhere else in Denver. Very strange) because we didn't go outside much, but this one from Breckenridge always makes me smile. 

Things I am Loving ...

1. Yesterday I got a free pass to go do whatever I wanted. 

I spent it with my sister.

2. Shake it photo app. So fun to snap pictures when out and about.

Like these of yesterday while we sat on the roof of my sister's condo building. Grilling, laughing, and relaxing while the sun went down. Her friends are hilarious and it was so much fun to listen to the banter of 20 somethings.

When you come home at 2 am and then wake up at 6:oo am, it's time for coffee. My favorite ever. Forever. In a very loyal, almost obsessive way ... now if it would just take away my, uh, headache.

illy Coffee

Goodbyn Lunch Boxes 

Because they are BPA free. Because they don't squish your food. Because.

Blueberry Cobbler Baked in Tiny Jars.

Because I love blueberries. And I love tiny.

(Via Not Martha)

In the past week have had over 7,000 hits on my blog.
I love you! I cannot believe it. Thank you!

Meet Lucy.

Lucy.

Lucy Goosie.

Lover of all things people.

Never met a stranger/burgler/questionable character that she didn't love.

Not sure she would ever let me take her off the farm.

I wonder if she ever remembers living with us (it's been 3 years)?

She has the sweetest disposition and wish we would have let her have puppies.  She would have been a good Mama.

Claire Bear rides Lucy like a horse.

Lucy doesn't seem to mind.

Well, mind as much as I thought she would.

She jumped into the bathtub with my Grandmother. My naked Grandmother.

She loves water, so it seems.

My first baby.


To meet her is to love her.



XO

Val

Sunshine.

Claire's favorite song. Sings it morning, noon, and night. Maybe if she sings it enough it will appear.