How her blog entry today rang so true. She talks about expectations. The expectations she has of herself, of her children, and of her family. How she wants things to be Norman Rockwell and if they aren't, she is disappointed and irritated ... and defeated.
Some days I feel like that, too.
In fact, I have been like that most of my life.
Lately I have been going to the gym and getting back into running. The weight machines intimidate me, and as much as I KNOW I need to use them, I don't know how and I get flustered and self-conscious and just end up running. Anyway, it has helped me manage my expectations a bit better. And my stress.
Wayne was gone in Kansas City (which I am still jealous of), went to Vegas, and then spent the entire last week in Seattle. Not one time did the kids and I have a melt down. - Usually Caeden gets hungry, Claire gets tired, and I am stressed out at the exact same minute and all hell breaks loose. Usually me telling them (like they can understand) that, "Do you know how long it has been since I have taken a shower without someone interupting/needing me/having enough hot water because everyone else goes first?" Or, "Can't I just have 5 minutes without someone needing me? Just five??" -- Yes, I get stressed out and easily feel sorry for myself a week or two into parenting alone.
So anyway, all the while Wayne has been gone that has not happened once. Not one time have I felt overwhelemed or stressed out or too tired.
We've played, we've laughed, we've had a lot of fun together and I think it's all because I am exercising everyday. It's the thing I do for myself and it is making all the difference in the world! The kids are picking up on it, too. I am more "there" for them and funny how when that happens, they need me less (By 'they' I mean Caeden. Claire is a honey and needs me at all times. :)
My expectations are this: I will work out everyday. I will not let the little things become the big things. I expect that everything will be OK.
I say this just as the holiday ramps up.
Talk to me next week when I am stressed out and wonder who this irritatingly optimistic and motivated woman who wrote this entry is.
P.S. The picture is a completely non-related. Thinking of this wall color for my dining room. What do you think?
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