Secret to a Happy Marriage

(Our first date after Caeden was born circa 2005)

We haven't been focusing much on the marriage side of things around here. Stress has us
annoyed with the little things about each other. You know sometimes when you just aren't clicking with your partner??

I say this for a reason.

The reason is, the other day I posted on my brother-in-law's blog that I needed a date night, and jokingly wondered if Wayne would be up for going to California.

Well, he read that comment.

And looked into tickets to fly us there.

He mentioned this last night, while we were contemplating whether our family vacation should include airline tickets OR hotel rooms in Jackson, WY that run a cool $4oo a night.

We end up confused and discouraged and go to sleep without any sort of plan at all.

But last night, after his comment about California, I tossed and turned in bed, afraid to wake him up, but wanting to tell him how much that airline search meant to me. Even if we go nowhere - he was paying attention to what I (jokingly) mentioned. And it is something he has always been really good at - paying attention. And something I am not so good at. I seem to bounce from one thing to the next, juggling all the balls in the air and trying not to drop one - and never really noticing what color they are.

No matter if we get on each others' nerves, it's the little things like paying attention that are actually the huge things that make everything OK. I really believe it's the secret to a happy (not perfect, but truly happy) marriage. I really love that about Wayne. And when he does things like that, it makes me sit up and take notice of what things I can do to be better to him. The thing is, a good partner makes you want to be a better person. To grow, to change - for the better. And that is what he does for me.

So, he mentioned he was in the mood for Capital Grill's calamari this morning. So, I have a friend coming to the house on Thursday night and that is what we're going to do (Surprise, Wayne!). Because paying attention is important. It's really, really important.

This blog is posting about other secrets to happy marriages right now. It's a good read.