South Dakota or Bust

Mom took Caeden home with her yesterday. They played outside - counting sprinklers, playing basketball, and fertilizing the yard. This morning she took him to the toy store, to get new clothes, a haircut, McDonalds, and dropped him off at school.

WHEW! Talk about nice. Thank you Mom!

So, this afternoon I've been doing laundry and packing for the trip. We were going to drive, but Claire is sick and Caeden came home from school early cuz' he's sick, too. It couldn't be worse timing because Wayne's white blood cell (WBC) count is at it's lowest. So, we decided to fly. Super short 45 minute flight. And then we decided to keep Claire here with Mom (super brave of Mom as Claire is NOT weaned yet).

So, it's just Caeden and us headed to the wedding. We are really looking forward to seeing everyone and getting out of the house. Doing something that doesn't involve cancer. Doing something with family. With friends. It will be the best medicine of all.

Wayne is feeling better all the time, so I just might get that wedding dance. :)

Won't be blogging until I get back (next Monday), but my handy-dandy iPhone gets email, so if you need something, you can find me that way. Or if you need Wayne. But chances are we'll both be in the swimming pool with Caeden until wedding duty calls.

Updates (with wedding pictures) next week!

Houston

We've got a busy couple of weeks ahead of us.

We're headed to Rapid City on Thursday for Nikki & John's wedding. Caeden is the ring bearer and Wayne and I are standing up for the couple. Can't wait!

Next Monday, Wayne and his father will fly to Houston and spend the week at MD Anderson. Wayne has an appointment with Dr. Patel (a medical oncologist) on Tuesday.

Wayne is doing great today. He improves each and every day and is really looking forward to going to SD...

So Much Going On

Caeden created the sweetest card at school. I love the answers to the questions. How funny that he knows my name!

Wayne continues to make improvement. Today he was able to get off of the couch and sit in a chair for a couple of hours. He drank an Ensure shake and had a couple of bites of cheese pizza tonight. He is very weak and feels yucky, but thankfully the horrible side effects are wearing off.

Claire is sick. I rocked her in her rocking chair all night last night (keeping her upright so that she wouldn't cough).

Caeden is doing wonderful. He's so sweet and fun. I love this age.

I am trying to figure out where to go and what to do next. We're thinking of moving to South Dakota to be closer to Wayne's family. I am also job hunting. And trying to figure out what to do with the house.

In a nutshell, things are crazy! Or maybe they aren't, but I am?

Cupcakes

Mimi & Caeden on Mother's Day ...walking toward cupcake bliss.


Caeden loved the strawberry frosting and the chocolate frosting.


He loved licking them directly off the cupcakes & off my finger ...


I must not have loved whatever I just tried (red velvet). But I did love the chocolate!


Mother's Day dessert at Nomelie, a cute lil' cupcake bakery with light pink walls and the smell of chocolate in the air ...



(Mom and Lindsay sharing a bite ...)

Hangin' Tough

Feeling a bit vulnerable after that last post, I thought I'd lighten things up with a picture of Wayne, totally chemo'ed up, doing his tough guy pose.

"Val, take a picture of me looking tough."

"Really?"

"Yeah, with my fist in the air."

I'd say he nailed it (although .... a tattoo down his arm would really complete the look).

Bulletin Board

As I walked past my office, I stopped to look at my bulletin board. Over time I have added pretty pictures, funny quotes, decorating ideas, cards that I receive in the mail, etc. And today, I stopped to look at it because I haven't added anything to it in awhile.

I see the very first family picture we took after Claire was born.

I see a picture of an Anthropologie bedroom, torn from their magazine, that I wanted to recreate for Wayne and I ...

I see a picture story board that I drew full of photo ideas.

A book club wish list.

A watercolor Caeden created of a cement truck.

Then, from my desk drawer, I added a quote that my girlfriend sent me, "Deep in the heart, somewhere in the soul, LOVE finds a way to be forever."

And I sat down and cried.

Day 5 Update

Today is a new day. And a much better day!

Wayne started coming around early this morning. This afternoon he is making jokes and giving the nurses hell. He's going to have one more round of methylene blue (blue dye) to help with the toxicity levels and then he gets to come home tonight!

What a huge difference. Last night he thought he was in Houston, TX and thought it was the year 2002. He couldn't walk. He was really, really sick.

Can you believe what blue dye and some hydration can do??!

We can't wait to get him home.

Day 5

There is so much to say and explain, but I do not have it in me. Typing it is like reliving it.

I know you need to know how he is doing, so forgive me for not posting a lot of detail, but here is a status update.

Wayne is suffering from neurotoxicity. It is a side effect of Ifex (chemo). He is in the hospital and they are trying to correct it. He hasn't been able to walk, has limited speech capabilities, and has uncontrollable jerks.

Each day he should get a little bit better. Yesterday was his last day of treatment, I we are all hoping and praying that he recovers soon.

It is scary but he is being so brave. He is a fighter and I KNOW he will be okay. The process of getting there is horrific, but if anyone can do this, it is him.

Please keep him in your prayers.

Day 3

Today is a hard day.

Day 2

Day 2 and Wayne is rocking the chemo! He is not having nausea (last time it was severe) and is lucid (again, not so much last time). His spirits are up and his attitude is always positive.
He makes me so proud to be his wife.

Here's what his day is like: Straight away in the morning we head to the hospital to get started. He's hooked up to an IV that drips Ifosamide and Doxorubicin as well as Mesna and Thiamine (to reduce side effects). His treatment lasts 5.5 to 6 hours each day (we were expecting 4 hours) and we watch many cancer patients come and go (Wayne's treatment is by far the longest of anyone else we've seen).

The infusion room is a communal room with big, bright windows. There are comfortable (ish) chairs for the patients to sit in, tv and movie machines to pass the time, and lots of gossip magazines to read. When Wayne is done with hydration and the Ifosamide, he is sent home. He has a port inside of his chest with an IV attached, and the Doxorubicin continuously drips from a portable pump that he carries around. This is what he is holding up in the picture.

When Wayne comes home, he is tired. Yesterday he napped, but today he didn't (wants to watch Family Guy instead). His preference is to sleep on our sofa because it is easier for him to get up from (since his heart surgery). So, last night I joined him on the other sofa, just to make sure he was okay. I was expecting a night of nausea and hallucinations, but instead he slept peacefully without incident. I am so thankful he is feeling better than last time. It truly is amazing how well he is handling these drugs (which are the most aggressive).

Caeden has been very perceptive throughout this process. Today I called him from the hospital and the conversation went like this:

C: Sooo, how is Daddy doing?
Me: He is great. The medicine is doing it's job.
C: Soooo, his medicine is taking out the cancer bugs?
Me: It sure is honey.
C: Is Daddy hurting?
Me: No baby. He is just excited to come home and see you.
C: That is a great idea, Mommy. Bring him home to me because I love him soooooo much.

Well just a quick note to let everyone know the second day is over and so far so good. Val is going to post more including a picture of what chemo looks like (I know everyone wants to know!)

Wayne

Hello Everyone!

Just a quick note tonight as it has been a busy day. The first day of chemo went well and so far so good. I went in this morning and everything is going well. The doc sent Home Health to do a medication changeover tonight and Val learned how to push the medication. She was a pro and even corrected the nurse a time or two! There are some side medications that help counteract the chemo and they get pushed at night (which is why they sent home health).

More of an update tomorrow.

Thank you for all of your well wishes and prayers.

Wayne

We've Got a Plan

I'm staring at 9 Doctor's appointments. That's a lot of data entry into Entourage (Mac version of Outlook).

It starts like this: Monday-Thursday is chemo - 4 hours each day.
Then, blood work, blood work, blood work.

We were thankful that he will be on the mend for the May 16th wedding in South Dakota, but what we didn't realize is that he blood count will be at its lowest that weekend. That means he is very vulnerable to sickness and will be tired. Hopefully he can overcome it to dance the night away with me...? Well, maybe a couple of dances.

This weekend I have to work on getting him to EAT. The next couple of weeks he won't be able to take much more than Ensure shakes, so I'm hoping he can pack it on this weekend to sustain him. I've got a freezer full of ice cream bars and the pizza place on speed dial.

Speaking of food, the ginger steak salad was fantastic! I would say this, though. Double the salad dressing. We were really rationing it out for 4 people, and none of us had enough dressing (which is delicious!) See Wednesday's post for the link to the recipe. It's a keeper.



Have a wonderful weekend!

Last of the Lightheartedness

Tomorrow is Wayne's "big" appointment. We'll have his chemo schedule & all the details that comes along with that. So, today is Lindsay's next-to-last day helping us with the kids. We thought we would sneak out for lunch - so we did. J.Alexanders for a veggie burger for me and chicken strips for Wayne (as much as he tries to eat high calorie foods, the weight continues to fall off of him).

We were people watching while waiting for our food when he says, "I'm anxious about tomorrow."

Me too.

Because I know the next week(s) will be tough going, I thought I'd post one more light blog entry. Fun stuff to take the edge off...

Handmade bubblebath/paint for the kiddos that can smell like anything you want
(including frosted cupcakes) Find it HERE.

A recipe for Chocolate Mint Brownies: HERE.


The place I get Claire's super cute hair stuff. HERE.

And, last but not least, my photography teacher is giving away a free spot to her next class (which has a waiting list of 581 people). Find out details HERE.

Now I leave you with some pictures of the kids playing on the floor last night (cuz' that's just the kind of Mom I am).

Complete Randomness

I still do not have any MD Anderson news to report other than getting records to them has been quite the ordeal. Wayne has been to three different hospitals in the Denver area, and of course they do not share records, even when his oncologist has privileges at each of them.

Wayne has an appt. on Friday to get the details of his next round of chemo, which should start Monday (if not this weekend). So, that's all I have to report on Wayne.

Now, for total randomness.

I'm taking a photography class and today I was taking pictures of Claire, and got a TON of adorable ones. Only to upload them and learn that 90% of them are blurry. I am getting so sick of that! The one above is us playing peek a boo. She'd hide her head behind the corner and then pop it out and I'd act all surprised. She loved it. I loved it more.

Next, is there anyone out there that needs a new pair of flip flops for summer? I have gone through all the brands: J.Crew, Havaianas, etc. Then, I slip on an incredible pair that my sister had worn over to the house. They are like walking on marshmallows and do not rub in between your toes. Where did she get them?

Target! I just LOVE that dang store. I wish I didn't. I spend way too much money there. But not too much on these lil' gems. They're 2.99! I highly suggest getting to your local Target before they are all sold out. I have been stalking mine, and they are always sold out (until I scored some tonight), so don't give up hope! Totally worth it. Trust me.

They are not online, so I don't have a link to show you what they look like, but they are plain - they look exactly like Havaianas, and come in brown and black. Really basic and they go with everything.



Claire would wear them, too, but she's just getting the hang of crawling.

Have you all discovered Pioneer Woman? I'm making her ginger steak salad for dinner tomorrow. It's my debut on the grill - I'm officially taking over grill duty as Wayne goes through chemo since the smell of food pretty much sends him over the edge. Tomorrow's blog may have graphic pictures of me with my hair on fire or the family politely choking down little, burnt pieces of meat - but dang it anyway, I'm excited!

Guacamole Recipe

I did not have a picture of my guacamole so I thought it made perfect sense to post a picture of Claire eating a cheerio.

Guacamole

4 Haas Avocados
1 Serrano Chile (not a jalapeno), finely diced
Fresh Lime Juice
Kosher Salt
Cherry Tomatoes, cut into 1/4 pieces, seasoned with salt and pepper
3-4 Garlic Cloves, minced
Cilantro, small chop (to taste)
Red Onion, small dice (to taste)

Get all your ingredients chopped/diced.

Then, smash your avocados up (I like them to be chunky, but again, whatever floats your boat). Immediately squeeze some lime juice on the avocados.
Add the rest of the ingredients to taste.
I like heat, so I leave some of the rib and seeds of the serrano chile, but if you don't, make sure you take those out before adding the chile.
I add to the bowl, a little at a time, until everything tastes good.

Kosher salt makes a difference, as does the serrano chile.

Enjoy!

Weekend Update

We had a busy day yesterday. Ken and Mom came over to help us around the house. Mom brought food (will post her recipe) and Ken installed baby gates, delivered our BBQ, and went to Home Depot for some shelving for Claire's room. I guess I should say HE had a busy day yesterday.

Claire is getting the hang of crawling. Considering she is 11 months old today, this is a good thing. Like I mentioned a while ago, we waited too long to put them up when Caeden was learning to crawl, so thankfully we are more prepared this time around.

Wayne is feeling better every day. He is able to put on t-shirts (getting things over his head was impossible until now), sleep without needing narcotics, and is getting stronger. Today we are going to the gym so he can walk on the treadmill. His goal is a mile. My goal is to run, although I haven't gone to the gym since his diagnosis, so who knows. I might just have a smoothie and call it a day.

Wayne talked to Mac this morning (his boss) - Getting things settled at work, which is a relief and also sad at the same time. Wayne is going on short term disability (6 months) so that he can go through multiple rounds of chemo and have surgeries without having to worry about job performance. Mac is such an amazing man, both personally and professionally, and the way he communicates with Wayne - honest and forthcoming - makes this transition not so scary. We are thankful everyday for our Microsoft family.

Speaking of work, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I should be doing. Get a job? Go back to school (finish my Masters, or perhaps something else like nursing {better pay and flexible hours}) but we've decided to keep things how they are for now. Keep the kids at home instead of daycare is one less stressor for them (especially Caeden) and for all of us. With me at home, I can care for Wayne through chemo, through his recovery, and that is the most important. Health and family - both are worth the fight. I just hope you don't have to fight quite as hard as we have to.

Here's Mom's recipe for pork tacos. She just "whipped it up" but I did my best to nail her down for the recipe because it is soooo good. Perfect for the crockpot in the morning, so when you come home from work, all you have to do is squeeze a lime (On the taco or in a beer, I do not judge!).

Pork Tacos

Pork Roast
Can of diced tomatoes and green chiles
Diced onion
Taco seasoning packet plus a lil' extra (like more chili powder and cumin)
salt and pepper
1 1/2 C. water

Season the pork and toss into the crock pot. Add the seasonings, chilies, tomatoes, and onions. Cook on low all day. When ready, pull pork apart and add a bit of the juice to keep it moist. Excellent as left-overs, too.

Serve with:

Corn or flour torillas (warm)
Squeeze of fresh lime
Lettuce
Tomato (this time of year, buy cherry tomatoes, chop in half and season with pepper)
Guacamole (I make the BEST. If you do not have a favorite, let me know and will post mine)
Cheese
Salsa
Sour Cream

*I also saute a few onions until caramelized, but that's usually a weekend thing, not a weekday.

Serve with a fruit salad and wha-la!

It Takes Two Baby

Lindsay has been my helper all month. She has helped me so much with the kids. Thanks to her, they haven't gone without attention, a snack, a bath, OR a snuggle.

See Claire doing "Soooo Big!" up there? That's because Lindsay taught her how.



Caeden having a smoothie for a snack. Lindsay whipped this up in place of his request for a 7-11 Slurpee. Much better!



Caeden had his 4 year Doctor appointment the other day and they sent us home with a pamphlet about things ... one of the suggestions was teaching Caeden hopscotch. I didn't mention anything to Lindsay about it, but she must have read it on her own, because when I came outside, look what they were doing. Brilliant.


Yes, we are getting along just fine with Lindsay here.

What? You wonder what I do?

Take pictures, of course. :)

The Story of Us ...

A friend of mine asked me last night to tell her the story of how Wayne and I fell in love. I thought I was post the story here since I am hard pressed to come up with a topic today since Wayne is still on the same clothes and hasn't said anything witty today. Today I am on my own.

Long, long ago I was transplanted from Gillette, WY to Sturgis, SD during my middle school years. We moved due to my Mom and Dad divorcing, so the reason for going was really sad, but just as I was SURE my mom was ruining my life to force to me to leave my friends in Gillette, something amazing happened. I found myself flourishing there. I made wonderful, lifelong friends. I liked my teachers. I was happy! So, 7th and 8th grade were wonderful. The usual things kept me busy like cheerleading (I guess this isn't so popular anymore?), writing for the school paper, passing notes, and figuring out how to navigate into a teenager.

Then 9th grade happened. In Sturgis, 9th grade means High School. Me and my friends were happily unaware that we were nothing more than shark bait for the senior guys. The guys made a list of us (along with comments) as if they were picking out cattle.

Cattle.

So, there we were, on the "list." And there were these guys who befriended us. Purely innocent, no?

No.

Oh my gosh, how we had fun. (Please remind me to delete this post before Caeden and Claire learn to read.)

Wayne and his group of fellas and me and my group of friends all hung out that year. We learned what Purple Passion (grape flavored liquor ... like a wine cooler, if I recall) tasted like. We "cruised" in cars. We hung out. We laughed A LOT.

Now, what you need to know is that Wayne was quite resourceful. Somehow (I will spare the details, but lets just say he was brilliant. If only he used that brain for good instead of evil ...!)
he had a fake ID. But real good. This was back when kids could still outsmart the authorities. Back before technology took away all the fun ... (I say this as I look back on those days, but NOT as a Mom, because we all know I will most certainly deny all of this story when my kids are old enough to hear it).

So, I knew Wayne. But not very well. Then, one COLD night, I lost a friends' wallet (fell out of my pocket) along the road, and so there I was, walking up and down the street looking for this wallet ... and here comes Wayne in his dad's corvette.

Yes! I know!

Wayne and Tom were cruising around (that's what we did back when gas was .85 a gallon) and picked me (and Amber Flint) up to help us look for it. That was the beginning.

We dated behind my Mom's back (Sorry Mom! I know you understand it was completely worth the sneaking around when you look at your beautiful grandchildren, right?). I'll never be able to watch "Dirty Dancing" without thinking about how Wayne was too nervous to hold my hand while we were watching the movie, so I had to GRAB his.

That wonderful year came to an end and Wayne graduated high school and headed to basic training. My family moved back to Gillette, so we went our separate ways.

When I graduated high school, one of the first things I did was call Wayne. His parents have a super easy number to remember, I had it memorized for 3 years! It's 605.787.... Just kidding. Not going to give it away. You never know when solicitors are blog surfing.

Dang solicitors.

Anyway, I called him and he immediately came and picked me up... I don't think we were apart again. Co-dependent, but deliriously happy.

He proposed to me at Roughlock Falls ... he had me hunting for a tree with his parents' initials carved into it. And then I turned around. There he was, on one knee, asking me to marry him. I played hard to get and told him I'd have to think about it.

That isn't true. But I swear the rest of the story is.

We married young, I was 19 and he was 21. We will be celebrating 15 years in September. 15 years. We're getting to the point of being together longer than we have lived apart. How strange (and wonderful) is that to think about?

We spent 10 years without children - we spent many a weekend sleeping in ... spending money frivolously (does anyone remember his Audi A6?), and traveling (one of my favorites was Valentine's Day in London...).

Then we had Caeden. And Claire. And now we are wondering why in the world did we spend so much time sleeping in?? Seriously, we waited too long. They are our everything.

So here we are. The story of us in a nut shell.

Walkin'

Wayne's recovery is going well! He tries to walk 4 times a day for about a quarter of a mile each time. He can't wear anything other than his button-up p.j. top because of his inability to raise his arms to put shirts over his head, and he can't put on socks or shoes by himself. So, here he is, in his p.j. top, sweatpants on the bottom, and his sunglasses - going for a stroll.

Hopefully the neighbors won't report him as a homeless fella aimlessly walking through the neighborhood.

He is doing awesome -- starting to wean himself from his pain medication, and is in great spirits. He's sarcastic and bossy, so I know he's starting to feel better.

He'll be in recovery for another week (no driving). Then it's back to business with chemo.