At First Sight ... | Denver Family Photographer | Denver Children's Photographer | Candid Beautiful Fresh Photography | Parker Colorado Photographer

Last night, you could have found me here... Engaged with a sweet baby girl who loves everything girlie. Sparkly bracelets, cupcakes ... and mostly 

... just as it should be ... her Mommy and Daddy.

I must have told them a thousand times what a pleasure it was to photograph such pretty subjects. They rocked the camera and I have a ton of images to prove it...and the sneak peek is ... well, just a peek.

This gorgeous family traveled from Wyoming to have me shoot their session and I am always so blown away when that happens. Feel so privileged and lucky.

So.

As we were shooting and getting to know each other, I asked how they met. 

Her: At a BBQ. He fell in love with me immediately. Love at first site.

Him: It totally was.

Oh my gosh. All that playfulness and love translated into the camera like nobody's business. 

 And their little girl? Could not be any more sweet.

Literally. ;)

Thank you, you beautiful, stylish, rockin family ...

For letting me capture your family. As you are. Right now.

At first sight.

For The Weekend.

Saturday mornings at our house mean going to the grocery store in p.j.'s (well, the kids at least ...) for donuts. (Or Snooze for breakfast when we are up early enough to beat the crowd.)

It means lots of coffee and a lazy morning of "what should we do today?" talk.

For us, tomorrow means the swimming pool. Grilling (spicy steak sandwiches with homemade BBQ sauce and corn on the cob)... Linz's bachelorette party tomorrow night...(and me constantly on B&H's website looking at the 85L lens ... ha)

Sunday is Church. Farmer's Market. A nap. And then a photo shoot with a sweet family traveling all the way from Wyoming. So excited.

Wayne is in bed most of the time - or sitting in a chair with his leg elevated. The clot makes it nearly impossible for him to get around. If it isn't better by next week, it sounds like he will go to the hospital to have the clot broken up and his leg drained. Should help so much.

So. That's where we're at.

XO.

Val

AND. I am back.

Let's move on from the complete and utter "tell it all" post of yesterday. Vulnerable. Raw. And moving on. 

Wayne is home. Working. Leg elevated. 

I am busy drinking coffee, reading books to Claire, and reminding Caeden to not yell in the house. I suspect Caeden is deaf. Ha. How did I end up with two LOUD kids when I am so noise adverse? Is that just the way it happens?

I like the idea of decorating the entry way (from our garage) with the kids' artwork. 

Photo from Odeedoh.

And a little wagon filled with books. Oh my gosh. So am doing this as my bookcase is a complete disaster and needs a little cuteness. Idea and Photo Credit Here.

And this picture. Sigh. It speaks to me. Love the composition. The lighting. The kiss. The way he is grabbing her face. I hope you all have someone to do this with ...

Photo via Style Me Pretty.

A couple of books for Caeden. A surprise that will come in the mail with his name on it. Something we can do for quality time. Reading is so important at our house.

Found at Amazon, of course.

Into the weekend we go ...

Mesenchymal Condrosarcoma | Wayne Koop | MD Anderson

There are a lot of people who have been waiting for news about Wayne today.

I ignored each and every text, email, and phone call. I didn't know what to say ... or how to say it.

I walked around in a daze all morning. Waiting to hear from Wayne. Hoping the brutal chemo protocol worked. That it was worth the hospitalizations. The massive blood clot. The surgery. The crazy weight loss. The worry, the stress, the complete chaos of it all...

... Of Wayne feeling sick and tired and horrible every single day.

The scans showed tumor growth in some areas. There has been no reduction. This protocol did not work but may have decreased the amount the tumors could have grown, but we don't know. He is done with it, though.

His Oncologist, Dr. Patel, is putting Wayne back on break for two months. His body needs it; his spirit needs it just as badly.

And, after two months have passed, Wayne will be rescanned to see what has happened while on break. Most likely, the chemo break will last though the holidays as there is no sense going into the holidays on some sort of experimental cocktail (not knowing how he will react or be able to function) if he is doing well enough to just enjoy feeling okay. To enjoy the kids.

This was the news today.

I suck. I cried when I got his text message with the results.

I cried when I finally talked to him on the phone.

I cried after the call, too -- sliding to the floor in my kitchen, sobbing because I couldn't hold it in. I lost it in front of the kids. And poor Caeden, completely freaked out, kept rubbing my back asking me to stop crying. I told him I hurt my foot so that he would understand why I was on the floor. So he grabbed band aids and started putting them all over my leg. "Please stop crying, Mommy...."

I stared at the wall most of the day. Relieved when I could take Caeden to school so I could come home and busy myself with sitting and doing nothing.

Oh, and I went and got groceries, only to come home and forget I had gotten them. Walked right into the house, putting Claire down for a nap, and just sort of zoned out ...

It was in the mid-80's today and let me tell you, the milk, yogurt, frozen food, etc. did not make it after sitting in the back of my SUV all day. I never did go get more.

I know he reads the blog and I hesitate to tell it all like this, because he is so strong and positive, and to tell you that I fell apart makes me weak and stupid and such a victim, which I loathe.  I know I need to rise to the occasion (like I did last year) but I ... just don't want to. Or can't. Or am fine being just "good enough." Not sure how to undo this. Do I have the energy? The drive? How much of this do we have to take? To live through? Day after day after day after day? I am tired, to be honest.

Where is the good news?!

Looking forward, Wayne will start getting stronger as the chemo wears off. He will start eating better, and hopefully, be able to walk better (clot has stopped him in his tracks).

I would like to plan a family vacation to California. To see Nikki and John. To take the kids to Disneyland, build sand castles on the beach, and maybe ... get our pictures taken by Tara Whitney...?

Or maybe just go to KC and take in a football game. Tailgate. Laugh with old friends. See new babies that have been born since we left...

Or stay close to home but do things we haven't ... Estes Park, Beaver Creek, etc. Take lots of pictures in the mountains ...

Or.

I don't know. Whatever he can do.

So there it is.

Don't take it personal when I don't respond to you. Just please know we appreciate your love and support and DO feel blessed to have you all in our lives. Please just overlook the mild breakdown. I am sure I will feel better when I can see his face and talk to him in person.


Just trying to figure out how to pull it all together. I have 2 hours before he gets home. I better try harder.

In my place - a cake.  Mixed, poured and decorated by Caeden Koop (frosting was a compromise between Caeden and Claire. Caeden = pink. Claire = chocolate ... ha).

Something that says welcome home ...

When Someone Really Knows You ...

They send you emails like this:

Tiny Seed.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Claire who loved her bunny. 

Who loved books.

And this one, The Tiny Seed, is one of her favorites.

If Claire couldn't take a book everywhere she went, she would be one unhappy girl. Who would yell a lot (trust me on this). And loud. The girl can yell loud.

So the story goes ...

A field. A book. A brother. A bunny. 

And a Mommy who loves them all very much.

Especially when they do things like this without being asked. Oh how their Mommy adores them.

Claire loves to read out loud. She reads to the bunny. She reads to her Mommy. To herself.

Here, Claire read the words ... "Flower. Is that a man? Is that a girl?"

And her brother was busy looking for bugs and playing airplane in the field. Not caring about the bunny or the book or his sister and her adorable take on the story. Bugs ...

So Claire, wanting to find bugs as well,  finished her story, licked her bunny, and stood up.

And started to yell.

ALL DONE MOMMY. ALLLLLLLL DONE.

The End ...

To Sing.

I was hired to shoot this beautiful family because they are going to be gracing the cover of a business magazine. 

I did what I needed to do - getting shots that the editor wanted (certain vertical shots, plenty of white space, etc.) 

and then I did what I wanted to do ...

Like loving on this little guy. Playing games, getting him to trust me and come closer ... and give me drool-worthy expressions that capture everything about being two.  

Like teething.

And learning all about what it means to have a collection. A passion. A love of legos. This particular figure is his favorite. He tucked it into his pocket before we left the house because I told him I wanted to hear all about it. And he told me. 

And I adore him for it.

And while these shots make my heart sing, I know they are not going to make the magazine cover (not vertical, for starters). I don't care. 

(The ones that will are saved for the editor.)

Sometimes you have to create happiness in situations that could go either way. 

I choose to sing.

And.

I think they do, too.

P.S. {A Couple of Recipes}

ff

***

Peach and Blueberry Crisp

Last night I made a Peach and Blueberry Crisp.

Yum, people. Yum.

10 peaches, peeled and sliced into wedges

2 Pints of Blueberries (I always add more. Love.)

1/4 C. Sugar

1/4 C. Brown Sugar

Squeeze of a lemon or an orange

2 TBSP. Flour

Mix all together and dump into buttered baking dish.

Top with crushed almond cookies (and chopped almonds if you like crunch).

Bake 350 for 1 hour. 

Easy. Yummy. Everyone will love you.

And don't you deserve to be adored?

Of course you do.

Firsts.

Me: Caeden, kindergarten is a long word. Do you want me to write it?

Caeden: Of course not. Where is the chalk?

5 or 6 letters in ...

Caeden: Mom, this word never ends. I need to stop.

Me: You can stop if I can take your picture (haha).

Goofing around, although this picture looks pretty serious. There were numerous outtakes of the apple falling off. So cute and fun.

Everyone in Caeden's entire school wore the same t-shirt on the first day. I love the idea of that - I know it must have made the kids feel like they were not so different from each other ... and that they were all in this together.

His first day was really good. He was excited and ready. I didn't cry (another first - ha).

I asked him what his favorite part of his day was.

Caeden: Talking to Ms. Marchese (his new teacher - she is an absolute doll).

***

Wayne is home. Dave and Donna are leaving this morning. I need to step up and find a routine for all of us that makes sense so that everyone gets what they need. This morning when Claire woke up, she wouldn't even come to me. Wanted to snuggle with Grandma only. It's a sign that I need to spend more time with her (and Caeden).

But, today is a new day.

Swimming pool, maybe some picture taking...

And if I can get the kids to laugh, and Wayne to have what he needs ... well ... I know we are all on our way to better days.

The Glue.

Wayne ...

Bribes the nurses with cookies that Lindsay and Jordan brought him.

Told me his pillow gets him through. Small comforts of home become big comforts, you know?

Is out of ICU and in a normal room.

Will be home Friday or Saturday.

Is feeling much better.

Ate a baked potato yesterday (was the first real thing in 5 days).

Will see Caeden today. I am taking him to the hospital after we go to school to meet his teacher, get pictures taken, and drop of his school supplies

Caeden ..

Starts school tomorrow.

I asked him what he wanted his teacher to know about him, and he said:

1. I love garbage trucks.

2. I play with my sister.

3. I want to learn about rockets.

4. My favorite color is blue.

Claire ...

Is Claire. Stubborn. Loves the word "no." And shoes still are her world.

We ...

Have the best, most amazing friends and family. Dave and Donna have helped us SO MUCH. Absolutely incredible. So blessed to have them. I thank God each and every day for how they glue our family together.

Because, lately, it takes a lot of glue.

Text.

I woke up to this text from Wayne this morning:

"The first Doctor I see is going to get an earful on transfering me out of ICU and into a normal hospital room."

(Sarcasm can only mean he is feeling better.)

Heading off to hospital this morning to join Dave. 

Donna is holding down the fort with the kids. Not quite sure what I do without my in-laws.

So thankful I don't have to find out.

Update on Wayne.

Admitted into ICU for blood transfusion(s).

Has a blood clot that reaches from knee to pelvis.

Had surgery to insert filter as to catch pieces of clot as he is unable to be on blood thinners because of his low counts.

Will be out of ICU tomorrow.

Back up to normal hospital room - which is where he will stay until his release Thursday or Friday.

Will be on chemo break but won't know to what extent until his trip to Houston next week.

Wayne.

Wayne ...

Had a rough weekend. Stayed in bed and felt miserable.

Wouldn't eat.

Couldn't hold much down when he tried to eat (if he could have said, "I told you so...")

Pain in his leg.

And this morning.

Couldn't walk.

Had to see a Doctor.

But to get there ...

Had to rest each time he put on an item of clothing.

Shirt on. Lay down and rest.

Jeans on. Lay down and rest.

Help getting shoes on.

Wayne ...

Was admitted into the hospital where they found a blood clot that spans from his knee to his pelvis.

He will be there for 5 days ... until they get him eating and hydrated and get the blood thinners to do their thing.

It will take 9-12 months for clot to disappear.

Wayne has ...

Incredible parents.

Two children who ask for him. Miss him.

A wife that wishes more than anything that this wasn't happening.

Two blankets and two pillows from home.

Amazing friends.

Wayne will ...

Sleep as much as he can.

Have someone with him in his room. Even if it is sitting in silence and watching him sleep.

Have me to ask him to eat. To get him  ice water. Worry. Worry. Worry.

Wayne could use ...

Prayers.

Words of encouragement.

Your love.

If I had a Penny ...

Thinking about ...

By Monday I should have a new blog. Nothing wrong with reinventing yourself, right?

Shooting a wedding in Napa. Haven't even said yes but already sketching a storyboard ... I think that means yes.

 My first baseball game tonight (Rockies vs. Cubs)

My golden retriever, Lucy, will be here this weekend. Can't wait to walk her and pet her and and tell her how sweet and pretty she is.

Wayne comes home today. He has been in Seattle all week for work (and also chemo). 

Making a blueberry crumb cake with Caeden. Recipe here. We're on a roll.

(I torture myself as I took the "eat 1,000 calories" to heart and am living off of coffee.)

Made strawberry jam late last night. Pearly pink jars of goodness are in the fridge and in the freezer. 

Thinking ...

How next week is Caeden's last of summer. And maybe it's time to unplug and lay in the grass, get wet in the hose, eat ice cream every day, and love on him until he tells me no more. 

I don't think he will say that, though ...

The Little Things.

I had no idea I could share music (from iTunes library) on my  desktop to laptop. 

It's the little things, people.

Well Hello.

How about a list and some family pictures to break it all up?

1. Short attention span these days.

2. Made a cake for the garbage men (Caeden's idea). He just glowed when the truck pulled up and the men took the cake. So proud of him for being kind to others.

3. Still nursing running injury and I miss running dearly.

4. Talked to trainer at gym to whip me into shape (in 4 weeks) for Lindsay's wedding. Was told to eat 1,000 calories, cardio for 1 hour every day, weight training 3 times a week (with a female trainer and not a man because they are too soft! LOL)

5. Didn't sign up but did head to Chick fil A for dinner straight away afterward (kids) haha.

6. Claire has us all running scared as she is teething and bites everything in sight.

7. Wayne has 1 more day of chemo.

8. Caeden starts Kindergarten next week.

9. I am shooting the cover of a business magazine!

10. Addicted to blueberries.

11. It's peach season in Colorado. Headed to fruit stand on main street to get more. Making jam. 

This time I am telling the truth.

13. Have a dear friend on the other side of the state that I cannot wait to see. Going to try and go alone. Publicly stating/pondering that thought increases my chances of that happening... :)

14. Am over, over, over Facebook but don't know how to stop logging on.

15. Going outside with kids to get some exercise, some sun, some fun.

Find Your Style.

To have style translate into a photograph you have to put in the effort.

To have a cast iron bathtub in the grass by a pond ...

Well, that takes manly strength.

{And women to watch and make them move it twenty times.}

But when you go to the effort ...

Amazing things can happen.

Like this.

A portrait for their home that no one will have.

Getting ready for a session is so much more than picking at date and showing up.

It is collaboration.

Inspiration. Expression of personal style.

Anticipation ... total fun.

And.

Completely worth it.

Freedom.

Sum it Up.

She's a shoe girl.

Another.

As you might have known, I have been in Montana this week attending the 

Jinky Art Photography Workshop.

It was absolutely incredible. I learned so much about business, branding, and of course, more than a few photography tricks...

And while I am inspired with ideas (and I have lots!) the first item of business is to move away from this blog and showcase my photography in a better format. So, I am working on that now, and it will be launched shortly. Don't worry, though, this blog will still remain ... and I promise to post daily just as I (almost) always have.

And ironic as this is, the photographs I am showing you tonight were not taken by me. My good friend took them today ... while I was busy bribing Claire and shooting from a different angle. I haven't had a chance to edit mine yet, so here you go: 

Claire from another Perspective. Another set of eyes. 

Another photographer...

 Who wants to remain anonymous for fear he will steal all my clients. ;)

(this one is my favorite... those sweet chunky legs!)

We were playing peek a boo (I was sitting to the far left of photo).

Today was hot. Shot during the harshest lighting. We melted.

But I have to say. Totally worth it.