A Break.

It sounds like Wayne gets a break after his next round of chemo (next round starts August 17).
A break means, they will leave him be for 2 months. At the 2 month mark, they will re-scan him to see if the tumors have broken through. If there has been no growth, they will give him 2 more months of a break, and re-scan again. This will go on for as long as the tumors do not grow. Once they do, he will start a different protocol. We don't know what it will be, but we do know the harshest is behind us ... just one more round to go.

So, with a "break" hanging over us, we have begun to dream of a vacation. We talk about the ocean - taking the kids and building sand castles ... drinking too many mojitos, playing in the water, and celebrating the fact that he will be able to do these things.

The last time we have taken a vacation was when Caeden was 1 1/2. We went to the Keys with the Havens' (that's the picture above). We were eating breakfast at this great eatery that had chickens running all over the place. Oh, we had fun! But it has been almost 3 years and I tell you this, I will whisk Wayne away this fall, no matter what.

(Wait. We went to Napa with Nik and John awhile back. But the story sounds more dramatic when I leave it out.)

Did you know we are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary September 24th? Which just happens to be over his break. Beautiful, beautiful timing.

So, back with where to go. I was hoping you guys would have some good ideas. We've been to the Caribbean on a cruise, but never stayed anywhere too long. But it's prime hurricane season.

We've been to Hawaii and loved it, but worry the flight would be too long for the kids.

Any ideas?? Do not shy away. I am SERIOUS about getting something booked.

Reminders.

Claire & Caeden are the reason we keep putting one foot in front of the other. They are our everything.

Claire says "Daddy" all day long. She looks for him when she enters a room, and her body shakes with excitement when she sees him. She still puts her arms out for him to pick her up, although it isn't very often when he can.

Last night the weather was beautiful and all the kids were outside playing. Caeden was digging for a lost treasure in the empty field by our house, and Claire was trying to keep up with her friend Ella, who is walking.

The sun was warm and it felt good to be outside. And then ...

I turned around to see Wayne on the front porch. He was sitting in a chair, with his pajama pants on and a favorite t-shirt that is now 4 sizes too big. He was watching everyone play, but not able to take part. It is hard to get used to. I hate it. He hates it. And I know he thinks about it a lot more than we talk about it.

This morning he goes into the hospital for another blood transfusion. It makes him feel a lot better, and hopefully the rawness in his mouth will go away so he can eat.

Just one of these hardships would be enough to send anyone into a stupor, but it's the kids that always keep him going. Keep me going.

Having a baby say your name all day long is a sweet reminder to stay strong.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Weekend Update

Swimming pool.

Splashing and laughing and, "Mommy! Look at me!"

Farmer's Market.

Fresh tomatoes, cucumbers still wearing their dirt, peaches straight from the other side of the mountains. Colorado peaches are divine. Claire had one for breakfast and the juice drip, drip, dripped down her arms.

Dinner at Mom & Ken's house.

Fried chicken, coleslaw, mashed potatoes and gravy, & homemade ice cream with chocolate cake.

Enjoying summer. Enjoying every single bit.

Announcing { In the Moment }

Let me introduce my photography business properly...

{In the Moment Photography } (click on name) is officially launched!

I am beyond excited and look forward to updating the gallery as I go. I hope you enjoy looking around as much as I did putting it together.

Val

site address: www.beinthemoment.net

Preview for { C & M }

5 Years together. Paris. A child.
Dreams of mountains. Another child.
Blissful times. Hard times. Prayer.
A no-matter-what kind of love.
Promises all over again.
{ C & M }

Chit Chat

You know how I love a good find. So the other day when we returned from Houston, we came home to a house full of nothing. Every single thing was packed in a box. They were all towered in the garage and in the basement. Really, my house had never looked better.

But I am a minimalist that way.

But still, we had no food. No soap. No nothing.

Or so I thought. Low and behold, my dear friend Jody brought over food for us and it was waiting in the fridge.

And my Mom. My mom had little surprises all over the house for us. Food, drinks, toilet paper, fresh towels in the bathrooms ... and this amazing shower wash. It smells like almonds and is the softest concoction I've ever put on my skin. It's amazing. You need some. You know you do!

And here is the brownie mix I have been grazing on for 2 days. I am sort of a baking snob. I love homemade and shun box mixes. I blame Food Network.

Anyhoo, someone made these eons ago and I had to have the recipe. I was surprised that the recipe is just this lil' box of goodness. Oh, and they are good. These brownies are fudgey and moist and have that perfect crackly top. Are you hungry yet?


In other news, we got another offer on our house. What is with all these people trying to buy our house?! Don't they see all the other houses in our neighborhood for sale? I wish they would take their low ball offers and go bother someone else. Seriously. The offers are just insulting. Or maybe we are just partial to not wanting to lose absolutely everything we've put into our house. It could be that, too.

Regardless, people love our house. They just don't want to pay for it. What are ya gunna do, right? Well, we turned it down (again). Our Realtor has got to be calling us names behind our back. I mean, if I was him, I would. But in any case, until the housing market recovers, selling is not a good idea.

(Don't you just love my gift at stating the obvious?)

Update

Wayne was discharged from the hospital yesterday evening. He has to go back each day to get antibiotics intravenously until his count returns to normal.

I haven't mentioned our change of plans, yet. We are back in Denver. Unpacking (which makes me very crabby!) all the boxes ... of the entire house that I just packed up ...

Wayne's meeting with Dr. Patel was eye-opening. Wayne will remain on Ifosfamide, even after his chemo cocktail changes, because it is the best drug to fight his sarcoma. It is also the same drug that cannot be administered in Rapid City. The back and forth travel from Rapid to Houston has worn Wayne out. It doesn't make any sense for Wayne's sake, or our budget, to stay in Houston when we have a home in Denver that is just down the street from a hospital that can care for Wayne.

So, to recap, he will continue to go to Houston for scans and consults with Dr. Patel, but all treatment will be done here in Denver.

All of this change and stress has me eating lots of brownies. Wayne doesn't eat much and is down 70 pounds. He obviously is leaving the brownie eating to me. Thanks, babe.

Off to unpack. And eat more brownies.

Fever

Just as I thought it was safe to say Wayne was out of the woods, he got a fever last night. He doesn't have any white blood cells, so a fever is a big deal.

We went to the ER last night and they admitted him. They want to keep him for 48 hours until they can identify the cause of his fever.

This, of course, did not sit well with Wayne. He is so tired of hospitals that he gets impatient and a bit grouchy when he realizes that he wasn't going anywhere.

But he does have a flat screen tv to keep him occupied.

I remember talking to a friend when Wayne was first diagnosed. Her husband also has cancer, and she told me that soon enough we would understand that our "new normal" would be drastically different from here on out. Those words are finally sinking in, unfortunately.

Got to take Wayne his laptop this morning, as he has work to do - and his pillow and some new clothes. Hopefully he can come home tomorrow night, but until then, it's hospital food and vital checks to the point of total annoyance. Poor Guy!

But you know, the fact that he is able to complain lets me know he is already starting to feel better...

In and Out of the Dark

We are just going to skip past last week, okay? We don't want to talk about it. But, before you get worried, please know he is doing MUCH better now.

Much.

And we will just leave it at that.

Day 1 Down

Wayne had his blood transfusion and first day of chemo yesterday. We arrived at MDA at 9 am, fought hard for a parking spot, and left at 7 pm. Our car was about the last one in that previous over-packed garage.

The hospital room was nothing like PSL (first hospital in Denver for his chemo). Here he has a large, private room. Extremely clean (sad that I have to say this, but man, we've seen a lot over the past 4 months) and bright. Wonderful nurse named Mou (Moooo) who treated Wayne amazingly well.

Wayne perked up after the transfusion. He felt a TON better and started talking to me and watched a little t.v. Then he slept the day away.

The drip, drip, drip of the chemo being pushed into Wayne is a sound I will never, ever be able to get out of my head.

His sweet bald head was beading with perspiration all day as he lay snuggled under the pre-warmed blankets. Getting him warm is a victory.

This morning I went downstairs to the hotel lobby to get him breakfast. There was a group of high school boys, traveling for some sport or another, and I stuck out like a sore thumb with my Kansas sweatshirt on. I took Wayne oatmeal and came back down to get myself some, and I hear this:

"Dang. She was just here."
And then his friend says:
"I'll tell you one thing, Kansas girls sure can eat!"

So today is starting off good. Wayne has chemo at 1:00 today, it's hot outside, and I really want another cup of coffee but am afraid of running into the food police downstairs.

Wayne says hello!

More later...

Wayne's Appointment w/ Dr. Patel

We got good news today. Wayne's tumors are stable and slightly improving (shrinking). He's responding to the chemo!

He still has not recovered from his last round of chemo and now we know why - his hemoglobin is still very, very low and will have a blood transfusion tomorrow morning WHILE having chemo. It sounds insane, but we are assured it is standard protocol.

Going forward - he will have round #5 of chemo starting tomorrow and lasting through Wednesday morning.

In 3 weeks, he'll do another round and he'll be scanned again (CT, MRI, XRay) to measure the tumors. If his body can take it, they will press on and do up to 8 (so, 3 more MAX). His chemo is hard on his heart and so they will back off if they need to, but will test his body to it's limits to shrink the tumors as much as possible.

At that point, Wayne will get a break for a couple of months to let his body heal and recuperate. After that, more chemo, but probably a different cocktail.

It will be a long road, but the good news is that Wayne is in the BEST hands possible.

Live Strong - This One is for Dan & Michelle

As we sit here waiting for Wayne's CT scan, he gets an email from his friend Dan with the above picture.

Dan describes a program that Lance Armstrong's foundation put together: They have a Robot that writes messages from cancer patients & survivors. The robot puts the messages on the pavement for the bicyclists to read as they ride over each stage.

It is quite possibly the coolest thing I have ever seen...what a gift.

Dan and his wife Michelle sponsored our message, and here we sit, waiting for the scan, fighting back the tears *that are coming anyway* dang good thing I was too lazy to put on mascara this morning.

What an overwhelmingly amazing surprise. Thank you so very much!

And to all of you out there who are patients, survivors, friends & family: Here is the link. There is a neat video that shows you how the Chalk Bot works and how many messages they plan to paint. Just awesome!

Live Strong Chalk Messages

Can I just say it again? We have the most amazing friends and family. The encouragement and support keeps us going. You just have no idea how important you are to us. We love you all so very much. So very much.

Houston

We're here.

Wayne is doing/feeling better, but tomorrow is a full day for him - Blood Draw, MRI, CT, XRays ...

We went to the grocery store and loaded up on water, cheese, grapes, and peaches.

We're watching HGTV and missing our kids.

We're here. Wishing we were there.

{Thank You}

Thank you so much for your overwhelming response! You asked a ton of questions via email so let me address them here.

1. I will have a website up soon. You will find gallery pictures, pricing information, package options, and scheduling information.

2. I specialize in children & families. I do not shoot weddings, engagements, or senior pictures.

3. I LOVE the quality that natural light lends to portraits, so I do not use a flash or shoot in a studio.

4. My style is playful and mismatched. Coordinating outfits are fine, but dress your children in their favorite stuff, and watch how engaged they become! My goal is to draw out their personalities, not forced smiles. {No, "Say Cheese!"}

5. It looks like I will be booking up quickly through the summer months, so please contact me soon if you want to have a session sometime this summer. Hard to do if you don't know my pricing, huh? I'll get the website up soon! But here is a general idea of what to expect:

I charge a session fee of 100.00 for up to 2 children. Add twenty five dollars for each additional child. The fee includes a 1-2 hour session, in the location(s) of your choice, with time for breaks & snacks.

It also includes my wit (which is what you all really want, I know), talent, and a surprise for the kids (and maybe chocolate for Mom!).

It does not include any images. My packages will be listed online.

Thank you for believing in me!

A Picture and an Announcement

Caeden in the Fire Truck at Storybook Island

I am {so excited} to announce the launch my photography business.

Here is what I offer:

Candid, natural light photography. This means early mornings and the golden hours before sunset are best for the pictures you'll adore. The ones you'll covet. The ones that will hang on your walls forever & ever.

I offer funky props. Like rain boots & tutus. Worn out chairs & vintage pull toys.

Or no props. Just fields of wheat, grassy meadows, and sunshine.

Or, maybe you'll want to be at home. Or your favorite park.

You can see your loved ones on canvas, in books, & peeking out of frames.

I am available in the Denver area, Rapid City & surrounding areas, Eastern South Dakota (will schedule within a block of time for multiple sessions) and for a short time, Houston.

If you are interested, please email me privately at valkoop@mac.com.

Tutu Goodness

I cannot find half of what I need when I packed us up for this adventure to South Dakota. Forgot my makeup. All of it. Have no idea where most anything is.

Except for the tutus.

I know where those sweet lil' get ups are at all times. Four different colors.

Is it wrong?

Probably. Especially when you consider I have no idea where the thermometer is. Or the bills. But we'll worry about those things later, yes?



Have a good weekend.

Summer Nights

We wandered downtown last night to enjoy the Thursday night festivities called, "Summer Nights."

Sixth & 7th streets are blocked off, live music is playing, there's food, a beer garden, fun stuff for the kids ... and this amazing graffiti alley to link it all together.


Not the best picture I've ever taken, but considering I was holding Claire, pushing the stroller, AND taking pictures, I'm just glad I got it.



Caeden's tattoo. We have this in common. However, he hasn't noticed that mine doesn't rub off like his does. We'll save that conversation for later.



Pie. Yummy, glorious pie from my friend Vanessa's pie shop. We tried cherry & blueberry cream. Deliciousness on a paper plate.



Funny faces. Claire does this smooched lip face that never fails to draw an audience. Especially me!

We didn't stay late as Wayne and Caeden were tired. I think Claire was up for it, though, cuz' she was dancing to the music and people watching like crazy. Takes after her Mama.



We ended up back at home, sitting outside and watching Caeden drive the riding lawnmower. A perfect Summer Night.

Muffins

Picture Credit: Good ol' Martha

Kim is my friend and neighbor in Colorado. One morning when I was packing up the house and trying to keep two small children entertained at the same, she arrived with fresh from the oven banana chocolate chip muffins. I realize the above picture is for banana-blueberry, but it's whatever floats your boat. The blueberries are looking wonderful right now, anyway.

So anyway, I was totally stressed out, which means I was starving, too. (They seem to go hand in hand with me. Am I alone in this confession?)

Here comes Kim with these warm muffins. I ate two while standing up at the kitchen counter (quite possibly because my kitchen table and chairs were packed - or in another room - or underneath a pile of boxes). Caeden kept telling me thank you (for feeding him something other than dry cheerios). Let's just say these muffins were a big hit.

And the amazing part of this story: they are super healthy. I swear you'd never guess. Do yourself a favor and make some today. The recipe makes 36 muffins, so bring some to work, too.

Kim's Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

Combine dry ingredients:

1 1/2 C Flour (White Whole Wheat)
1 1/2 C Flour (White Unbleached)
3 tsp. baking soda
1 1/4 C Oat Bran
8 oz. Chocolate Chips (I used the entire bag, but I am wild and crazy that way)

Cream together:
1/2 C. Butter (1 stick)
2 tsp. Almond extract
1 tsp. Vanilla extract
1/2 C Sugar

Add:
10 (that's right, I said 10) smooshed bananas (or just throw them in the mixer like I did)
2 Flax Eggs*

*Flax Eggs are an amazing thing. Mix 2 tsp. flax with 3 TBSP. water and microwave for 40-45 seconds. They turn into the consistency of eggs. All the Omega 3's and no cholesterol. Hardly any calories. I mean, come on, it practically erases the sugar.

Bake in muffin cups at 325 for 20-25 minutes.

P.S.

Here's what I was doing at 10:11 on 7/08/09:

Chasing Caeden around the back yard with my camera yelling, "This is important, Caeden! This is important!" and him grabbing a toy shovel and pointing it at me saying, "Back up, Mom!"

Couldn't tell THAT lil' scenario from this picture, could you??

Deadwood

Here's the view of Deadwood from our balcony at the Mineral Palace. We spent some time out there watching the people walk by and enjoying the warm summer night.

Then we moved inside to our room. Or should I say, suite. OMG. The room was amazing. The bathroom was a bathing mecca. The tub so deep, so big, that if you were a little person, you could swim laps. Alas, I am not, but I did soak. As did Wayne, twice. The shower had one of those cool glass doors that swooshed when you opened/closed it. I had to really give myself a pep talk to emerge from it this morning.

The bed was made with linens that were sooo soft. And an enormous, gigantic t.v. was perfectly centered above the fireplace. We watched something about Michael Jackson, making judgemental comments about Debra Rowe, while we let our dinner settle. I took lots of pictures but they all turned out dark. But trust me, next time you want to celebrate or splurge, book room 341 at the Mineral Palace. You won't be sorry.

3 Card Poker kicked our butts. Things were going just fine until the dealer switch. Rosie did us NO favors. Bring back David. He wasn't much of a talker, but he could sure deal cards!

This morning we drove home, taking in the gorgeous scenery all around us. It is so pretty here. Really, really green. Peaceful. Clean. Relaxing. For the 1,000th time in 24 hours, I wish I had brought my camera. There is only so much an iPhone can excel at, you know?

It was a wonderful night away. Exactly what the Doctor ordered.