Polar Express

Tomorrow morning we are headed to Durango, CO for the Polar Express train ride. Complete with new jammies for the kids, hot chocolate, and a visit to the North Pole to see Santa. Wayne put the entire trip together - using Marriot points for the hotel, booking the trip far in advance to get tickets (sells out quickly and early), and plotting our journey across Colorado's mountains for the first ever trip to Durango.

There will be lots of pictures. LOTS.

I leave you with a link to a new site I found that is amazingly appropriate with their gift suggestions. They break it down by age - gifts and stocking stuffers. Even if you don't order from them, it gives great ideas while bargain hunting locally. Shop Learning Toys.

Back on Monday with our Polar Express Trip update!

XO

Val

Wii

VS.

I've been anti-gaming system for awhile now. It mostly has to do with wanting Caeden to move and be as active as possible. I also realize in Colorado winters, being active (aside from going to the gym which, by the way, we are - woot!) is difficult.

So I was thinking about the Wii. It has Super Mario Bros. (a personal, nostalgic favorite), Monster Truck games (Caeden Koop still wants to grow up and drive one instead of being a neurosurgeon), and the Biggest Loser.

I am a treadmill rat. I love to zone out and run (OK, walk, too, until I get back into proper shape) and listen to music. I love to feel my shoulders relax and my hands loosen up as I find my rhythm. I would also like to have the feeling back on NOT feeling my body jiggle as I do this. So, to lose 10 pounds, I thought the Wii might be the answer?

Or.

Is this really my lust over Mario clouding my judgement?

Christmas Cards

There was a Christmas photoshoot. It included a shiny red chair that Dave painted especially for this reason. It was a gorgeous day ... perfect sun & warm. Caeden was actually OK with me snapping his picture and Claire was good natured as usual.

I still broke-out in a sweat, knowing I'd have 5 minutes to capture what I needed.

The pictures turned out adorable and I knew I had more than a couple of keepers for our Christmas card. However, once I realized Claire had fractured her arm in 2 places because of it, I haven't looked at the pictures since my inital download off my camera. It makes me sick, actually.

So, this year, I was going to skip it. Skip sending cards ... who would really miss it as I post almost daily here anyway?

And then I got Melissa Lanes' family card in the mail yesterday. Seeing her sweet family's photo and card (the first of the season) was so much fun. And then I immediately realized I still needed to send a card. Holiday mail is very much apart of what makes the holidays ... the holidays.

If you have not received a Christmas card for me before, it is most likely I do not have your address. Please email me at valkoop@mac.com to be put on the official Christmas list, because after all, broken arm or no, the holidays must go on.

Facebook

It is Monday and I have NOT:

1. Caught up on Laundry
2. Cleaned the house (from T-Day week)
3. Taken a shower
4. Checked Facebook in a gazillion years

Facebook is always on my to-do list. Whenever I get an email notification that someone has commented on a picture or left me a message, I LOVE it.

I also feel guilty. I feel guilty because I never log on to FB unless I am sitting in the car waiting for Wayne to come out of: 5 Guys Burgers and Fries, Best Buy, or somewhere else I don't usually go. I log on only because I have an App on my iPhone and it makes me feel so connected. ;)

Anyway, my friends and family post important things (birthdays), day to day things (hilarious stuff), and in-between things (status updates, etc.) and I miss 99% of it.

To all of you out there - I am sorry! I am a miserable Facebooker. But, I am good person and I hope you can forgive my lack of FB'ing and see past all my inadequacies.

You know, so I can be narciassist and blog.

Have a Drink

Enjoying my family. Laughing. Went to mountains. More laughing. Talking to my neices and nephews. Catching up with my brother and sister in law. Cooking. Baking.

I need a drink. :)

Game night tonight ... thinking of throwing down on Rock Band...Guitar Hero, or whatever it is called. Apples to Apples, Scattagories, and Taboo ... we are going to have so much fun tonight!

Heading to grocery store with a list a mile long - and some of the ingredients are to make this cocktail tonight (and probably tomorrow, too!) Amazing Thanksgiving Cocktail.

Have pictures, stories, and lots to tell. Probably after Thanksgiving.

Enjoy your families. These times are so precious!

XO

Val

Children's Table

The other day I came across some tags that had my niece's and nephew's writing on them. It was what they were grateful for  - many, many years ago. One theme they shared was to mention their family. They loved their Mom and Dad and they were smart enough to be grateful for them. They must have known, even back then, how lucky they were to have such devoted and loving parents.

This year they are all making the pilgramage from Atlanta to spend a week in Denver with us. I cannot tell you how excited I am to have them all here. While they have grown up a lot since that last shared Thanksgiving (a tradition I miss so much), I still fret over the "children's table" and how to make it special for my children and our guests.

I came across this idea in Country Living and again on Odeedoh, and it was just too cute not to share. Butcher paper and markers is all it takes to make a cute impression. And look - name tags. It's our craft project this week (and then sugar cookies for sure!).

Have a wonderful weekend. We are going to be busy getting the house ready for guests - so that I can be in the moment at not fret each and every moment about: cleaning, food, entertaining ...
This time around - I am thankful just to be able to enjoy my brother and his family.

More Monday ...

Catching a Break

How ironic the last title post has come to be. Shortly after I took some pictures of the kids, Claire fell off the red chair and landed in the grass. The fall looked soft, and while she cried hard, I thought she was scared and not too hurt.

All through the night baby Claire cried. And cried. I took her to bed with me (something I haven't done since she was 4 months old) and snuggled her close. We stayed up together until 4 am when we both fell asleep completely exhausted.

The next morning, she nursed her arm and was unable to crawl. I called her pediatrician in Rapid City and took in for an XRay.

Claire has 2 fractures in her left arm and is in a cast. :(

I can't bring myself to post a picture as it just breaks my heart that I did not immediately take her to the ER the night it happened.

She is scooting around on her bum, unable to walk or crawl. She is mostly on my hip (even as I painted a wall and desk this morning) through out the day and seems to be doing OK.

Dang it anyway. It is always something around here.

Hanging On

We're still in South Dakota. So much to share but please forgive the blogging vacation. Family gatherings, 2 funerals, siblings arriving and leaving ... we are busy, emotional, tired, and reflective.

But we are all hanging in there! Back to regular programming next week...

Wayne Update

Wayne just met with his Oncologist to go over the results of the 2 days worth of scans he has just undergone down in Houston.

1. Tumors are stable. Some have shrunk.
2. The cancer has not spread to any other part of his body.
3. He is officially on break for 3 months.
4. His CVC is coming out (will be able to swim, shower, and hold Claire without her trying to rip it from his chest).
5. He will be home tonight.
6. I am so happy that I am having a hard time articulating myself. My heart is squeezed so tight right now that I can hardly talk.


 I told Caeden that Daddy's cancer bugs are not growing and he is going to be feeling good for a long time, and he said, "Ooooh. That is wonderful. Do you think he will be able to play with me now...?"
I couldn't answer him, but I did cry.

Now She Can See.

My grandmother passed away last night at the age of 93. Ninety three years of living, of raising her family, and worshiping our Lord.

Last night I slept with her Bible on my bedside. It's soft, black leather cover a comfort of the promises within. I fell asleep thinking of her and all she has been through ... of how her body slowly wore out - her eye sight the first to go... and I knew this is how it is supposed to be. In Heaven, she is where she belongs.

She is home... and she can see us all once again.


*Edited to add: We are heading to Rapid City tomorrow morning and will there through sometime next week. The service will be Saturday afternoon with visitation Friday evening.

My Grandma Parks

My cousin Lori is an amazing writer. Her blog, Fingerprints, is on my sidebar. Today her entry is about our Grandma Parks (paternal side). Read it here.

She wrote something that brings me to tears each time I think of it:
"...93 years of living, and Grandma is growing weary."

We've been on the phone numerous times over the past couple of days, talking about the details of Grandma's life. I cannot learn enough about her and wish so much that I knew more. Or that I could be the one to provide details that have slipped through others' memories. But I am not that person. I am the one who spent summer days running through their fields, swimming in the ditches, eating warm bread. The one who never sat down and asked Grandma to tell me her stories ... until it was too late.

There are many stories and questions I had for her over the years of visiting her in assisted living. I'd ask her about when she was a girl. What made her fall in love with Grandpa (she raised her hand to her neck and gave a nervous laugh and said, "Honestly, Valerie.") - She was always private and I have always found that endearing and sweet because I am not (obviously).

I remember when Grandpa passed away, and we sat around her kitchen table at the farm and she told me so many things that I didn't know. That she had lost a son, that she loved Chinese culture, that she loved when we'd eat out without Grandpa so that she could try new things.

Today she sleeps in a nursing home in Rapid, with her blood sugar and oxygen levels swingly widely. We will be heading up there when Wayne returns from Houston and I pray that I am able to hold her hand and tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me before it is too late.

To tell her,  like Lori, I bake Schwann's bread because the smell takes me back to her kitchen. That each and every time I make chocolate chip cookies with Caeden, I think of how Grandma and I spent many afternoons doing the same thing. Tell her that I wish I had had her teach me to sew. That I wish I would have had the ear for the piano. That I wish I would have taken her out to eat more often. Tell her that a picture she took - of Grandpa and I (as a baby) - is framed in Claire's room. That I think of her each time I look at it.

Mostly, I just want to tell her I love her. My Grandma is growing weary.

35

This morning I woke up to breakfast in bed. Caeden carried in the tray - full of orange rolls and gingerbread pancakes - all by himself. And soon Wayne appeared with a hot cup of coffee and a huge smile. It was a fantastic way to start the day.

We were together all day today - hanging out in the house, running around town, and making plans for our family after Wayne returns from Houston (he left tonight). This afternoon my sister Lindsay and her boyfriend Jordan came over to hang out ... we laughed so hard that I cried. You know the kind of laughter that makes so you so grateful for such good company? They are that for me.

All day I had calls and electronic well wishes from friends and family. I felt loved and remembered. Some were even kind enough to "remember" I was only 29. Such dang good friends!

Then we headed down to the barn for pictures. It was cold. Caeden was not very happy. Wayne was thinking about getting to the airport. Claire was thrilled with her new vintage Christmas ornament. And I. I was just relieved we were all able to be the picture together!

I loved my day today. I love my family. I love my friends. If this is what 35 is like, I realize how silly I was to dread it. I'm the happiest woman out there tonight.


XO


Val

Fairy Doors & Bookcases

I was getting my daily fill of Ohdeedoh this morning, and came across the article about Fairy Doors. They are popping up all over Ann Arbor, MI, and people seek them out like a scavenger hunt. The idea of the Fairy Door is that you install one in your house to let your special Fairy in. Some fairies are travel fairies, leaving plane tickets, maps, special excursion details, etc. for your children. Another is a cleaning fairy that checks to see if the playroom/bedroom/whatever room is cleaned up (and leaves treats if it is)... the list goes on and on ... and I adore the premise.

So, I found a vendor on Etsy that makes them. I contacted her to see if she makes different styles and colors, and will let you know what I find out.

How sweet and magical...

Another find was this great idea for a bookcase (Ohdeedoh, too):  

Take an existing bookcase, and insert long pieces of wood in the front to create a forward-facing bookcase. The advantages are your children can see what book they are looking for and find it easily (especially if they don't read yet) without yanking each and every book off the shelf. LOVE this.

Meet Buck

Meet Buck. He's our old school basement contractor. Buck is: an iced tea drinker, an early riser, adverse to smiling, trustworthy, and a hard worker.

Buck gives me a hard time, but likes that I push back. Today I told him I was taking his picture to show all you out there who he was. He blushed ten shades of red when I called him a handsome fellow.

Buck was over today working on shelves and a built in desk and bookcase. I'll post the rest of the tour when he gets his horrible looking tools off my carpet and finishes all the little things ...

Anyway, that's Buck. Now on with regular programming:


First, my girlfriend Julianna and I were talking about something to wear under shirts that is long enough to tuck into jeans so that the low-rise ones aren't so dang revealing when you walk, bend over, sit, stand ... whatever. You know my pain. I know you do. Anyway, she recommends the camis' from Undertease.  She swears by them and so I wanted to pass the tip along (she has impeccable taste).

Second, some unique Christmas gift ideas worth mentioning:

Tickle Monster Book. We give this to kids Caeden's age. Hugely popular and so cute. Love this book and highly recommend it to the little ones in your life.

Whisky Stones. Practical and useful. I have someone in mind for these.

Memory Quilt. I love this idea. I really, really wish I could sew. I am thinking of making a quilt (or having one made ... Mom Koop? Oh Mom? I have something to talk to you about... :) for the kids out of their favorite clothing items/blankets. A keepsake for sure.

Silicon Ice Cube Tray. Saw this idea in Cookie Magazine. Use it to make baby food, freeze pesto, freeze leftover chicken stock (am I the only one who has leftover stock sitting in the fridge?), making new crayons out of old, broken pieces (melt old crayon bits for 5 to 10 minutes at 400 degrees). These are the perfect gift for just about everyone. Oh yeah, they make great ice cubes, too.

One of a Kind Cake Stands.   Found these in Country Living Magazine. I adore the yellow one.

Have a good weekend!!

Basement Tour Part 2

Disclaimers:

1. I have to apologize for picture quality. Still using my iPhone (still lazy).
2. Sunlight is not the best this morning, so it's dim.
3. I did not have time to pretend I live spotless and pick everything up. What you see is what you get.

Here's where I work. Coffee cup, Nordstrom catalog, pictures ... are always staples on my desk. Picked up the office chair from a model home clearance sale for $35 (this chair is usually $550). Desk from Pottery Barn ... about 10 years old. Lamp is Anthropologie. Computer is Mac Pro with gigantic monitor (love, love, love!).

TV viewing area. Squishy sofa that barely made it down the stairwell (had to remove rails). Over-sized ottoman both from Curious Sofa (the best place on earth for furniture), old side table is too tall, too old and too white, but I am using what I have, so there you go. Leather chair is from the same model home sale. Picked it up for a song.

The great thing about a basement is rules pertaining to TV size don't really matter anymore. Big, bigger, biggest are all welcome. I watched the entire 1st season of True Blood the other night on it and loved the gaudy size. I imagine movie nights all winter long down here. Super cozy.

Here's my work in progress wall. I have a tough time replacing pictures in frames, I tend to just get more frames for more pictures ... so, I imagine in another month or so, this wall will be filled to the gills with more. And then I will need to find another wall ...

The clocks do not work, but each are set to a special time. The time my children were born, the time I got married, and the last one is my "just in case" clock for a special occasion yet to come.

Here's the playroom. Train table, normal table, storage galore all from Pottery Barn Kids. Love their style, but not sure they are built with quality in mind. The wood is soft and scratches, dents, and chips easily.

My OCD tendencies want me to delete this picture and go rearrange all the baskets and toys so they look perfect. Good thing my lazy side is dominant.

Here's the kitchen where we make smoothies, cakes, and everything else under the sun.

More tour tomorrow ...

In other news, Wayne is hanging in there. His white blood count is zero. However, he is shooting wheat grass every day and his red count is at a record high! We are hopeful he will not be needing a blood transfusion Friday if they hold steady.

Basement Tour Part 1

(Back story: We just had our basement finished for much needed space for company to stay, kids to play, and my office.)

Let me first say, there was a time when I rebelled against a phone that could also take a picture. I mean, come on. How lazy does a person have to be to use their phone to take mediocre pictures? Ahem. Thank you, dear inventor of camera phones, for lazy people like me who don't want to have to mess with a heavy camera, switch out the lens, and obsess over the perfect shot.

Enjoy my new bathroom (iPhone pictures and all).

Vintage was the theme. It's my favorite. I see now that I should have moved the trash can before taking the picture, but hey, I was in a hurry.

The bathroom is a much needed addition to the house. Mom and Dad don't have to go all the way upstairs anymore to use one when they stay with us (and the kids love to take baths in it now that we spend 90% of our time in the basement these days). We made sure it had a separate area for the stool (sorry for the TMI). I have a thing with seeing the toliet when I am bathing. I feel like I can't really ever get clean. Weird, I know.

Here's the huge ol' shelf we had built inside the tub area to collect toys, body scrubs, toys, shampoo, and toys.

I love the curved shower curtain for it's look and functionality. It gives so much more room to shower. And check out the shower head. Best shower in the house, including our walk-in upstairs.

We had beadboard - installed floor to ceiling - and I love the way it looks. The mirror tilts, too. And look, it's me! Hello KU t-shirt. Wearing it proud!

We had dimmer switches installed and love it. Perfect for movie nights! (That cute little tushie is Caeden 4 days old.)

Here's the arch as you get to the bathroom/bedroom area. Little details like that make it not feel like a basement - which was the goal, after all...

More tomorrow!

Sources Part 1: Entertaining

I love a good list. And, I have begun compiling them for the holidays. Lists for decorating, arriving company, gift giving, food prep ...

Enjoy my OCD tendencies this time of year. There will be more. And, if you have something to add, please share!


Entertaining:


Best One-Stop Sites:
Dean and Deluca (for my KC/NYC friends - you can shop in person, you lucky people, you)
deananddeluca.com
Best for chocolate cakes, foie graw, cheese and cracker/fruit trays.


Murray's Cheese (again, you're so lucky if you live in NYC)
murrayscheese.com
250+ different cheeses, plus you can shop by wine pairing


Zingermans (Michigan)
zingermans.com
I love their catalogs! They have amazing bread, cookies, gift baskets galore.


Best Drink Sites
ackerwines.com
Been in business 185 years - no kidding. They have everything. Ev-er-y-thing.


chefswarehouse.com
Mineral Water - amazing prices.


lepicerie.com
Nuts and Fruit gourmet site and YUMMY drink mixes


Florists
lolivier.com
Modern arrangements


organicbouquet.com
Organic. Does roses really well.


Speciality Foods


fauchon.com
I heard their sweets are amazing.


froghollow.com
Northern California farm for organic produce (dried peaches and plums are famous this time of year)


heritagefoodusa.com
Organic meat, seafood, poultry

Welcome Baskets for Guests
Target.com (Loofahs, Burts Bees Sugar Scrub, slippers, and maybe chocolate under the pillow)
Spoonsisters.com (fun gifts)





*sources: Martha Stewart (picture), Cookie Magazine, Real Simple Magazine, and my own experience.

Happy Halloween!

Caeden and I carved his pumpkin last night. My first attempt since ... I was a girl, I suppose. I probably should have read up on how to do it, as I just armed myself with a sharp knife and basic understanding of facial anatomy. No matter, Caeden loved it. ;)

Have a happy, safe, and spooky Halloween! We're planning on hitting as many houses as Caeden can muster the energy for. And, if you happen to visit our house, please do not be offended that the lights are out. Wayne will be sleeping ...

Image: My friend Kellie's talented daughter, Darian, carved 2009 Pumpkin.

Her message holds true for so many!

This is It

TODAY is Wayne's last day of chemo. Last day of this protocol. Last day. From here on out, for 2 or 3 month chunks at a time, Wayne is on break. Break. Which he really, really deserves.

It has been a long road for him. For us, too. But our family unit has never been stronger as we are all standing beside Wayne, wishing we could fight this for him, but only being able to offer strength, love, and tenacity. However, in all truth, it is Wayne that has shown us steadfast strength. Courage.

I think about his initial diagnosis, when they found the mets in his lungs, and as badly as we wanted to believe it was some sort of crazy repository problem, we knew better. When they had him in the MRI machine for 45 minutes - laying on his hip - we knew they had found something. When he called me from the hospital, with a carefully masked "Hi Honey! Could you come to the hospital as soon as you can?" question, I knew. I had never broken so many traffic laws in one stretch as I did on my way to him. I could not get there fast enough, and swore I would never leave him again.

I will forever hold onto the conversations that ensued over the next weeks. Crying, praying, stunned conversations, trying to figure out what was next. Where do we go? What do we do?

Cancer.

The open heart surgery to remove a tumor that had found it's way into his heart. Open heart surgery. Right before he went down to the surgery floor, he had the kids crawling all over his lap, talking to them and telling them everything was going to to OK. And it was. He recovered (he was unbelievable. He took the pain and never complained - instead he was grateful. Grateful they found that tumor that could have (and would have) broken off and caused a stroke. One hurdle down.

I think about his first round of chemo and how sick he was. We couldn't get his nausea under control, he was hallucinating, and so so sick. I called his Dad, telling him I didn't think I could do this alone. We were told chemo was bad, and having no idea what "bad" was - we thought hallucinations, loss of gross motor movement, and extreme sickness was part of the package. It wasn't.

From then on out, there were hospitalizations for neurotoxicity, countless blood draws, doctors visits ... our worlds have been turned upside down since March 8th. I will never view the world the same. I know he won't, either.

EIGHT rounds of chemo. Lasting 7 hours a time. (He is the first one there and the last to leave and the only one there all 5 days a week. Think about that.)

Flushing his CVC line every night.

Worrying about blood counts, infections,  fevers ...

DONE for at least a few months.

When I think of someone brave. When I think of someone steadfast - I think of Wayne. He has explained that he doesn't feel brave, he just feels like he had no choice but to endure, so he does. But for all of you out there who do not see him daily, there is no other word to describe him. He takes each thing in stride and with such grace.

Grateful. Grateful is a word I use today to describe our entire family. We are so grateful to all of you out there who have helped us through. Your calls, cards, emails, words of encouragement ... they are what got us through. Thank you for taking care of us when we couldn't. Thank you for being so good to Dave and Donna. To Nikki & John. To all of us. We love you all.

He needs to get through the next week (counts go down to zero, so we need to keep him healthy as possible). And then his break starts. His well-earned and much deserved break.

So if you could, please comment or send him an email (he isn't much for talking on the phone right now) and tell him congrats. I know he would love to hear from you.

XO

Val

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

(Dave with the snowblower ... taken with my iPhone, wearing no shoes. What I do for the blog ...)

We live in Colorado. We expect snow. We aren't complaining. Just wanting to show you what we're got so far ... we are guessing 2 feet so far, with more to come today. Read more here.

The snow blower was one of the first purchases Wayne made when we moved here 3 years ago. The first year it was never used. And I might have complained about the waste of space and money it was. And then we got a HUGE storm that stopped the city for 3 days. I started to warm up to the blower.

And today, I am so glad we have it! Dave plowed through the snow like it was nothing, and off to chemo they went. Everything is closed today ... except for the hospital. Bless them and their staff. 

The kids and I have not gotten out of our jammies in 2 days (except to bathe, of course) and we've been cooking up a storm in the kitchen - soups, a roast, carnitas, muffins ... Yes, I went to the store to stock up (but forgot to go to the liquor store, which, lets be honest, being locked in the house with 2 kids ... I should have stopped there first).

In all honesty, we're warm, cozy, and feeling blessed that Wayne's chemo treatment is able to continue through this crazy, crazy storm.