Update: Wayne's Test Results from MD Anderson

1. The pain in Wayne's leg is not because of tumor growth. The tumor has not grown significantly (which is the primary area).

2. There, however, is growth in the tumors in his lungs--  but mostly in the smaller ones.

3. Dr. Patel gave Wayne the option of starting chemo now, or waiting 2 more months because the tumors have not grown a tremendous amount, but taking a position, Dr. Patel believes starting chemo is a good idea.

4. Wayne has decided to start chemo. He may push it back a week so that he can get some things in order, but he will be starting soon.

5. The two new chemo drugs are: Temozolomide (which is a pill) and Irinotecan (an I.V.)

6. The promising news for Wayne is that neither drug is administered all day like before. He will most likely do chemo for 2 weeks (for an hour each time instead of 7 or 8 hours) and then have a week break - and then start the treatment over again.

7. He will do this for 2 rounds (a total of 6 weeks) and then go back to MD Anderson for scans to see if the chemo is working.

Here is a simplistic description of the new drugs: Temozolomide Click Here and Irinotecan Click Here

Thank you so very much for your prayers, emails, and phone calls. There is no way we could get through this without you all.

XO
Val

A Prayer from Caeden this morning before school:

Thank You, God, for Your love.
Thank You for my Daddy.
Thank you.

Amen.

Transparent

Transparent.

This morning as Caeden and Claire sleepily asked for their Daddy, I felt it coming.

The lump I get when I know he is somewhere we wish he wasn't.

When Caeden asked if Wayne's cancer bugs were still in his lungs the lump came back.

When I put Claire to sleep this morning and she said, "Night, Night Daddy. Night Night Bunny. Night, Night Daddy???"- as in, where is Dad. I need to snuggle. - The lump returned.

When Caeden asked for donuts this morning (something his Dad indulges and I do not), I put them in the truck and we went to the grocery store. The kids in their pj's and me in sweats and a ponytail. We, of course, ran into Caeden's sweet teacher from last year, and 2 boys that live down the street.

I loaded up a box of donuts (and organic strawberries because I am complicated that way) and we came home. They happily ate donuts while I watched them giggle at each others' chocolate covered faces.

And I felt transparent. Do they notice I am trying extra hard to be fun today? Do they know why?

There is a possibility that Wayne will continue on chemo break. While I hold onto that, it doesn't really make it better because I know his pain comes and goes. And he limps. Break or no, the tumor is still there and it's hard not to think about.


The complete irony is that Wayne is powering through like a rock. He is private and strong and never loses his positive outlook on life. On his circumstances.

So we wait for tests. For results. We wait together but hundreds of miles apart.

Feeling a bit transparent today.

An Idea to Treasure: Decorating A Child's Room with Personalized Art.

You know their favorite thing? 

Their blanket. 

Their special dolly. 

THE toy.

Take a picture of it.

and...

Frame it in their room.

Fire.

Late last night, just as I was turning off all the lights to go to bed, I heard pounding on our front door.

I peeked out the window to see our neighbor, Allen, standing on our porch. It was late. I wondered what was the matter...

I opened the door, and he flew inside the house, while saying, "There is a fire in your backyard! Where is Wayne?!"

He was already racing through the house, to the door that leads to our yard, before I comprehended what was happening.

A fire. A FIRE?!

I followed him outside and saw red, burning embers in our mulch. As I went to get the fire extenigusher and to wake Wayne, Allen was telling me he thinks it is an electrical problem.

Wayne flew out of bed and was outside in a flash. A fire extinguisher and shovel put the fire out, but also our neighbor, Cindy, who lives on the other side of us, hooked up her hose and snaked it over the fence so we could saturate the ground to make sure it was out completely.

It was not caused by an electrical problem, but we had been grilling for dinner, and one of the coals landed on the mulch, causing the fire. It must have been smoldering for hours.

Thank God Allen was out on his deck last night (pitch black outside and he still loves the fresh air) and saw what was happening to us.

I don't want to think of how this story could have ended had he not been there.

Weekend Update (A big blur...)

1. Not a single picture taken.
2. Soccer: 1 practice & 2 games over 3 days.
3. Attended a birthday party.
4. Entertained friends from out of town.
5. Cleaned out garage.
6. Bought strawberries and blackberries for $1/pound. Score!

7. Sold treadmill on Craigslist and do not miss feeling guilty each time I walked by it.
8. Ordered a ton of workout videos off of Netflix.
9. Researched how to install a flagstone patio (need something to do to get rid of anxiety while Wayne is in Houston).
10. Drank veggie smoothies all weekend (Wayne's creations), ate homemade pizza (Wayne), and have finally admitted to myself I would MUCH rather bake than cook.

Pesto on Ciabatta: Yum for Your Weekend

One of our favorite restaurants is Osteria Marco in Larimer Square (Denver).

You walk down a long flight of stairs into a dark and cozy restaurant that is always hopping.

You feel like suburbia is a million miles away.

You get to hold hands and share yummy food.

But sometimes the babysitter isn't available. So, you do what we do. Recreate it at home.

And eat it outside with the kids.

With Kenny Chesney playing on the stereo.

And love that you are in suburbia
(a bit of a stretch, just go with it).

Love that you can still hold hands (Well, that part isn't true. We really don't at home. I mean, usually I am in yoga pants and am wearing no makeup. And don't get me started on WHAT Wayne is wearing. Really. You do not want to go there. Sorry honey.)

But the food is good. And so is the company.

Here is a recipe to knock your socks off. And it is so easy. And yummy! Have I mentioned that?!

I tried taking pictures but, hey, I am not a food photographer. 

Just trust me with how delicious this is.

Grilled Ciabatta Bread Accompanied With Pesto, Balsamic & Parmesan Cheese

Mix:

Prepared Pesto (this time of year we get it from Whole Foods)

1 clove of Garlic, minced

A splash or two of Balsamic Vinegar

Chopped Sundried Tomatoes

Tons of freshly grated Parmesan Cheese

A swirl or two of good Extra Virgin Olive Oil

*Serve in a pretty white bowl with a side of grilled Ciabatta (local bakery or whatever you can find).

*The key to grilling the bread: Do not brush it with oil. Just slice it and grill over medium heat until you have char marks.

The inside should still be soft.

*Kenny Chesney optional.

Update on Wayne

The past couple of months have been purposely quiet about Wayne. Quiet because we are firm believers in worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

But.

I've been getting some email. People want to know what is up with that crazy fella. I am sure they email him, too, but he never tells me that.

But that's another topic.

Wayne and his Dad, Dave, will fly to Houston on Tuesday. Once there, they will lounge in posh hotel rooms and order room service with abandon.

Or not...

What really happens is a lot of hurry up and wait. Get blood work done. Wait. Go to next scan. Wait. Check the schedule. Wait. Another test. Wait.

And then Wayne meets with Doctor Patel on Thursday morning. He'll have his results back. Mostly they will talk about if his cancer has grown, and if so, how much.

They will talk about what's next. We have heard a possibility is high-dose Ifosfamide. This means Wayne will be in chemo 5 days a week (usually a full 7 to 8 hours a day) again. It is a horrible regimen but is necessary. But, that was just a guess by his secondary Oncologist, Dr. Hinshaw, that follows orders from MD Anderson (Dr. Patel). So, we won't know exactly what will happen until next Thursday.

So next week Wayne will be with his dad, for which I am so very grateful. They keep each other strong and are so good to and FOR each other.

I will stay here with the kids. Caeden has parent teacher conferences and I can't help but think about last year. Wayne was recovering from open heart surgery and came to the conferences - and it could not have been more than 2 weeks post surgery.

He is such a good man - which is a total understatement.

Anyway. That is all next week.
If he gets orders to start chemo, it will start the following Monday, April 26th.

This weekend we are trying to finish projects around the house because we know that it will be the last of Wayne feeling good for awhile. Cleaning out the garage, hiding stereo speakers (into the wall, I really, really hope), and grilling food outside while listening to Kenny Chesney (Wayne's go-to music for all things grilling related).

Please keep Wayne in your prayers.

And thank you for continuing to read the blog. I will always keep you updated with his news this way (not email or Facebook).

XOXO

Spring in Colorado

My tulips are starting to peek up out of the ground, thanks to my Father in Law who planted them last fall, when I didn't have the energy.

I found stones in my flower beds this morning. One of them says,"Hope," and was a surprise from my Mom. A message she left for me to find when the weather was warm and I would be tending to the plants she had planted for me.

The wind is blowing like crazy and my umbrella keeps tipping over outside.

I am eyeing my terra cotta planters. Eager to paint them cream and distress them before planting my herb garden next month.

I found Robin's Egg Blue spray paint at a craft store and it made me deliriously happy. I am painting most everything that needs a make over - side table, a stool ... and probably more, too.

Spent some time designing my sister's Save the Date postcards. Now I am dreaming of her bridal shower in June. 

Found these pictures on this Etsy store front and dream of warm weather and fresh flowers.

Spring is here.

Welcome to Birthday Town | Speed Limit 5

I have a million pictures to edit and post, and eleven children/10 adults to present evenly for their blog glory (ha), but I don't have it in me today. Today I will tell you about the party.

Caeden's theme was "Paint the Town." They created t-shirts as a warm up and then after sundaes all the kids went outside for a surprise.

Birthday Town awaited them. There was a sign that said, "Welcome to Birthday-Ville! Speed Limit 5 MPH."

On the lawn awaited multiple houses (made of wardrobe boxes) and a rainbow of paint choices to "paint the town."

The kids had a blast. The adults were relieved they were entertaining themselves. The sun was shining. Everyone was happy.

After they painted, everyone went inside for present opening.

Legos, cool building materials, a scuba play set for the tub, art supplies, and ... guns.

As soon as the guns made their appearance, ALL the kids ran outside and grabbed whatever they could find to turn Birthday Town into an old west ghost town. There were gun fights and laughing and running and playing.

The party was a huge success as the kids had fun and Caeden felt celebrated. He has the greatest bunch of friends (as do we!) and I was so thankful they came to hang out with us for the afternoon.

XOXO

Caeden's 5th Birthday Party | DIY Sundae Bar

This little man had his 5th birthday party Saturday. Also the day of his first soccer game (after a month of cancellations due to weather/traveling out of town).

His wish list for his 5th Birthday Party:

DIY Sundae Bar (instead of cake).

Painting "Houses" made of boxes.

Friends to help him Celebrate.

NO SINGING Happy Birthday (He's not a fan).

A Cowboy Gun.

We set the Sundae Bar up in the dining room and used a chalkboard to advertise.

When the kids started to arrive we broke out the hot fudge, caramel, whipped cream, etc.

There was a line of 11 excited children and 10 adults for all the  sundae goodness. 

The only mistake was not letting all the ice cream flavors un-thaw because Wayne and my Mom had granite to scoop 

as hungry eyes stared them down.

They still rocked it, though!

Out of vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and 'blue' cotton candy ... Cotton Candy was the favorite flavor of the day. Sprinkles and gummy bears (with hot fudge and whipped cream) were the favorite toppings.

I wish I had pictures of all the kids going to town. They were all fantastic friends to each other. Waited for their turn patiently, stayed in line, and helped each other scoop.

Used jelly jars for the toppings. Made the labels with stamps and craft sticks.

Mom appeared with this gorgeous, gigantic bouquet of balloons -- a child's equivalent to flowers. Caeden (and Claire) had eyes as big as plates. So, so happy.

And Mom brought these, too ...

 

Two dozen cupcakes (from Nomilie) that the adults devoured. 

You know who you are, people!

As the kids arrived, they had their own pack of fabric markers 

and a plain, white t-shirt waiting for them.

The budding artists created their masterpieces while getting to know each other ... again, no photos of the action

(have you ever tried to manage eleven 5 & 6 year olds?!)

but they turned out so dang cute.

Here's Lindsay & Mom. Could not have pulled this off without them! Mom worked for two days straight, helping me create; plan; run errands; navigate the party.

Lindsay was my go-to girl to keep Claire busy while I ran around like a lunatic 

(disguised as a Hostess).

A picture of Caeden and I ...

(Pre-makeup but whatever. I was so happy to get a picture of us together. It doesn't happen enough!)

And a sneak peek of the birthday boy. 

Coming up tomorrow:

The Guests, Painting Birthday-ville, and lots of fun details about Caeden's special day.

Love you Caeden Koop!

Food Revolution, Cont.

I blogged last week about Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution on TV. The show is amazing. If nothing else, I will never, ever eat a chicken nugget or fast food burger again. 

Thank you, Jamie, for showing me how they are made. No amount of BBQ sauce can undo the sight of the chicken carcass' whirling in the food processor. 

Caeden has been watching it with me and I am trying to explain why he needs to drink Wayne's smoothies and why eating vegetables are important. He's starting to come around.

Yesterday he asked for Green Beans for a snack. We replaced fruit snacks with Clif Bar fruit snacks (found at Costco for a steal) and he loves them.

Does he also love Donuts? They might be his favorite food in the entire world. And I have no delusions that if I and a chicken nugget were both dangling over a cliff, and he was hungry enough, well ... I won't go there. We all know how that would end up.

But. We are all improving! (Now if I could get my bum to the gym. Please, someone, drag me there! And then let me watch you workout while I get a massage!)

While doing my usual morning blog surf, I found Cathy's free download.

She devised it as a way to get her son to try new things - and reward him for it in the process. If you have a picky eater, this is a great idea for keeping the humor in, "please try your broccolini, dear."

Spring Inspiration | Chalkboards | Decorating a Wall with Goodness

Rhonna is an amazingly creative person that I had the pleasure of meeting & learning from (at Creative Escape in Arizona two years ago).

Her blog is nothing but creative goodness. I especially love her take on the chalkboard wall. She takes it to another level with embellishments like pendents & little do-dads.

I'm thinking a wall like this is a must! And easy enough to knock out while Claire is napping.
It's just ... happy. And a girl needs something like that with snow on the ground this morning.

Farm Fresh

Claire thought the fainting goats were puppies. She kept trying to talk to them like this, "Woof! Woof!"

They didn't care what animal noises she made as long as she had food.

Well hello there handsome fella. Billy, I presume?

Caeden didn't want much to do with the animals, but everything to do with Grandpa. 

Over and Out.

Caeden saying, "I am so over this. I'm going over there."

No amount of pleading, talking sternly, threatening or acting indifferent could get Caeden to look at the camera. Not a single shot of Easter Day with him smiling or being sweet in front of the camera. I took 268 photos in rapid fire style, hoping something funny would make him smile. Not one.

So glad for the blue door the day before.

We had huge egg hunts in the wide expanse of yard that the farm provides. We ate too much. We had fun catching up with extended family. We drove all the way home to Denver once the day was done.

Snow, rain, and wind prevented six photo shoots from taking place. I feel sick about it and wondered if having a studio would better serve my business since so much is left up to Mother Nature.

Oh yeah. I hate studio-posed portraits. But still...

Very disappointing.

What was not disappointing was spending time with our family and being on the farm. Decorating with Donna. Sending Wayne and Dave off to Deadwood. Running around outside. Eating at Alpine Inn.

Not disappointing at all.

In Between ... Blue

In between the rain and the clouds ... we parked along Main Street.

In between office buildings my Mother in Law and I each grabbed a child and undressed and redressed them again. In cream. In something I knew would not last tomorrow with the chocolate and the grass and the pastel sugars that will claim their faces, hands, and clothing.

In between times of driving somewhere else, I always looked at this blue door perched on Main Street - and knew I had to find the time to photograph my children it front of it.

In between naps and snacks and baking for Easter tomorrow I took these pictures. Because I don't want to forget what is truly important... which should not be in between everything else.

Have a wonderful Easter!

Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.'
Bible: John 11:25-26 NIV

Lemonade

When life gives you lemons ... like rain and cold ...

Choose the rain boots.  They'll make you smile every time.

As much as I want the rain and cold to clear before Saturday (hi to all six families I am photographing that day!), having an excuse to splash in puddles and wear a rain coat with ruffles makes it so worth it.

    (not pictured: Caeden with pen and paper - "directing" Claire how to pose)

Canyon Lake | Rapid City Photographer

Fairy wings and ruffles are no match for Batman (in the background). He is foiled by her charms every time.

Packing Up

Tomorrow (after school & after work) we are headed to Rapid City for Easter. My "things to pack" list is getting very long.

1. Easter Bunny Items

2. Camera Equipment & Session Props

3. Laptop

4. Vitamix

5. Clothes

6. Cooler full of fruits and veggies (that still won't stop us from making junk food stops, I'm sure)

7. A new DVD to keep the fussing to a minimum

Spinach, pineapple, and grape smoothie.  We were way too naive and told Caeden what was in it, and of course, he wouldn't touch it. Claire, however, LOVED it. It's the best one yet. I just hope we can get clever with naming these things so Caeden will actually drink them. This morning I said, "It's the Swamp Monster Smoothie!" and Caeden looked at me like I was the lamest person ever.

Twine, Old Crates, Wire and { Cuteness }

I love the idea of stringing twine along a wall and filling the space(s) with letters, cute drawings, pictures, post cards, etc. 

I did the same thing in the kids' playroom and it's currently filled with Valentine's. Shortly it will be replaced with birthday wishes (Caeden turns 5 in a couple of weeks).

This is a somewhat fuzzy screen shot of my favorite baby boutique, Lauren Alexandra (located in Kansas City). When I still lived there, my alphabet art and cards were sold there. And when I was back a couple of weeks ago, I stopped in and stocked up on stuff for Claire: fairy wings, a pink clothing stand that is now on display in her room and full of spring dresses and bloomers, and a cute cupcake barrette (I never give up hope that she will, in fact, grow hair.)

I love that store. LOVE that store. The staff is fantastic, too. Makes all the difference these days.

There is something I wanted to point out in this picture:

The crates hanging on the wall have all been painted different colors and screwed to the wall. How stinkin' cute is THAT? You could do that in someone's room to hold books, toys, favorite stuffed animals, a clock, etc. Or, in a bathroom for cotton balls, towels, soap, etc.

The point is, you don't have to spend a lot of money to get a super cute, custom look in your house.

Here's a cute idea for storing your jewelry. Found at Pottery Barn for $39 (available in June). I found a blog this morning that had step by step instructions for making one yourself. Cannot find. 

But, trust me, it looked easy.

Spray paint a cheap frame whatever color your little heart desires. Screw i-hooks (faking the name of those things) onto the back and string wire. 

Total cost: about $5.

***New subject***

So yesterday's post. 

It struck a cord with many of you out there. I got 9 (yes, I counted) different emails from people not wanting to post on the blog about how they could relate.

I chalk it up to Winter Blah Syndrome (technical term). Not to be confused with Seasonal Affect Disorder (the real deal).

Thank you for letting me know I am not alone! 

Also, I had quite a few questions about the Roden + Fields skincare I mentioned. They are the company that launched Pro Active. They used to just be sold at Nordstrom (And Macy's maybe? I cannot remember for sure) but they went direct (for all those poor women who do not have Nordstrom near by). The big deal with them is anti-aging. Reversing dark spots, wrinkles, etc. I tried the serum the other day and couldn't believe how smooth my skin was. I made Wayne feel it. He nodded that, yes my skin felt great, and yes I looked 10 years younger. 

Or maybe he just sort of nodded with a vacant expression on his face. 

Either way, I was really happy with it.

I am not interested in selling it, but my rep Kacie is making $$$ (try a 10,000 bonus on for size). If you want to order some skincare or talk to her about how she is making $, contact her: https://kacieshober.myrandf.com

I will report back with how it is working. Maybe I will take a before and after picture and you can see what you think.

Anyhoo.

This weekend is filled with planning for my Easter Mini Sessions. Making a cute garland, ordering flowers, painting chairs ... I cannot wait. The portraits on the farm are going to be brilliant. I still have slots available, so if you know someone who doesn't read my blog, please pass this along. Thank you so much!

To book: valerie@beinthemoment.net

Sort of Whining. Only read if you are REALLY bored.

 (picture has nothing to do with anything {via Martha})

Am I the only one who occasionally freaks out about aging? 

Today I am at "Pump It Up" - for those who do not have children, it isn't as naughty as it sounds. It's just a huge room filled with kids bouncing on slides, in big boxed "rooms," and everywhere else.

The kids love it.

And what do the parents do while the kids are running around? Make small talk. Coo over new babies, and more than once I overheard, "So, what did you do before kids?" - It was implied that once you have children you are no longer working (well, I guess a safe assumption considering it was 11 am). But still.

The thing that I noticed was that I seemed to be at the older end of the spectrum. Or maybe I just looked it? Either way, I saw many super cute, young, designer jean wearing Moms there.

I wore a KU baseball cap, jeans from 7 years ago, and tennis shoes. I am no John Kumpart.

The thing is, I went to this place thinking I was a good Mom for getting the kids out of the house and doing something fun. I left still feeling that way, but also feeling like the unpretty Mom.

I am not saying I need to compete with them, only that I should try a bit harder to be a better me.

Do you ever feel like you need a make over??

I need these things: get back to the gym DAILY (my sister in law just ran a marathon and I haven't raised my heart rate since chasing my son and PRETENDING to let him win),  new skincare to take care of my face - needing to evolve from a hodge podge of things and get consistent with slathering serum on my face before bed (I would be a very happy lady if I could have skin that looked like my Mother in Law), and drink lots and lots of water (currently chuging a diet pepsi). Oh, and eat organic.

Maybe I just need a nap?

You know what else? I think it is more stressful THINKING about what you want to change than actually DOING it.

So, I've got the Door to Door Organics folks delivering food (starting when we get back from Rapid City), taking kids to the gym after they wake up (and bringing along my Sigg full of water), and I am trying out some new skincare from Rodan + Fields (my rep is Kacie). 

It promises to reverse all those times I baked in the sun without sunscreen ...