A First

Everyone made plans for this week. Wayne worked like mad on projects to make this week a bit easier for work, Dave took time off and flew down last night, Kellie requested leave and bought a plane ticket to fly here Wednesday.

Wayne mentally prepared himself for 5 days of chemo that lasts 8 hours each time. He took his nausea medication, hugged the kids tight, and headed to the hospital early this morning.

And his treatment was denied because his blood count is too low. Too low after not having chemo for 4 weeks. It has taken us all by surprise. It's the first time this has happened.

We are scrambling to un-do our (mental) chemo week and trying to plan for next week instead.
Trying to figure out why in the world his blood count is still so low...

We talked about it this morning and Wayne said, "You know, I am not really that surprised because I can still smell the chemo (very distinct smell) on myself." - And so could I. We wonder if the chemo has built up so much that his body is still processing it.

Wayne is taking his Dad to Fort Collins so that Dave can catch a ride home to Rapid City today.

It's a first (the delay of chemo - not the chaos that comes with it).

Did You Know?

...There is a Facebook application that strips out all the games and crud ... and lets you just read people's comments? www.lite.facebook.com

...That butternut squash is delicious as dumplings? We went to a wonderful restaurant last night, Table 6, and had the BEST time. Table 6 is a small, cozy, and romantic place situated off of Wash Park. Might be my favorite restaurant in Denver.

...Wayne starts his last round of chemo tomorrow. To make sure Wayne is taken care of (since the infusion center doesn't love {i.e: tolerate, allow, or even ponder the idea of} kids running around chemo patients), Dad is flying in today from Rapid and leaving Wednesday. Then, just as he leaves, my dear friend Kellie (Culberston) Burns from AZ, is flying in Wednesday and staying until Saturday to help me juggle the kids and Wayne. I am so grateful.

photo credit: Elsie Flannigan

... Caeden and his friend Kaija ( and me and my friend Michelle) are creating Monster Cookies for Halloween on Wednesday. This will be our 3rd annual event. The cookies are way too sweet to eat, but they are so fun to make!

... Anthropologie makes the most amazing scented candles called "Volcano."

... We started bribing Caeden with stickers (to put on his chart) to mold his behavior. Apparently promising stickers for toys and dangling that over his head works like a charm. Who knew?! Created and printed his October Calendar here.

...The Red Laser is an awesome app for your iPhone. Scans the barcode of whatever you want to buy and finds locations and price lists for it. Wayne found a toy for Caeden at Target, scanned it, and instantly found out it was $20 cheaper at Target than Toys R Us.

Be Still My Heart

I was reading Cookie's Blog and came across their feature about these kitchen beauties.

The Big Chill is a genius of a company. They speak to all things vintage...



I adore, adore, ADORE these. Wouldn't match my house at all, but oh do I love them.

The link is there if you want to see more colors, dishwashers, and photos from inside people's kitchens. Fun stuff.

Bigger | Better Photographs

No more "click on picture to make larger."
No more pixilated, grainy pictures when they really aren't.
Very pleased with my HTML skills! :)

We're excited to have the bathroom tiled today-weekend. Doing white vintage, hexagonal tile on the floor, white subway tile around the tub, a curved shower curtain, pedestal sink ... I'm on the lookout for a piece of furniture to put in the bathroom to house curling irons, lotions, etc. It takes real estate to be a girl, you know. I envision something with a glass front, legs, and OLD.

We're thinking about trying round 2 of family pictures tonight, even though we have SNOW on the ground.

All I think about is the holidays. I love, love, love this time of year and have been pouring over magazines, taking mental pictures (watched the Office last night, did you?) of what I want to do this year ...

And that's about it.

Have a great Friday!

Take 3.

So, no sympathy from the last post. That's OK. I got some keepers after all.

Take Two

I thought it would be the perfect night to get some pictures of the family since it's going to snow this weekend...

So. Let me just say this. Photographing my own family is nothing like photographing a client. Clients listen to you. They pay attention to directions. They are aware.

Not this clan.

By the time it was all done (about 5 minutes from start to finish) I was proclaiming "Let's just forget it!" And, "Let's just go HOME" (very dramatic of me, yes?).

No one seemed to mind that I was irritated, disheartened, or disappointed. They were bored, cold, and not really caring about the vision of loveliness I had planned.

I was pretty quiet on the way home. Caeden noticed. "Mommy, did they turn out perfectly? Will you play with me after you put baby Claire to sleep?" -- He would have said anything to get me to loosen up.

So we came home and played trains. Now he's in bed and I'm looking at these pictures - pictures of kids crying, running away, husband not paying attention or listening, and the unperfectness of it all... and think tomorrow I will think it's funny.

But not tonight. Sigh.

Nothin'

I've got nothing for you today. Or yesterday. You can tell it's been lame-ville around here.

*Spent too much at the grocery store on healthy food and mealing planning that I hope we actually cook and eat (P.S. who goes to the grocery store, and buys $200 worth of food and NONE of it was meat?!)

*Going to talk the kids and Wayne into a family photo session tonight but waiting for the right time to bring it up...

*Visited my "I need a laugh" go-to site, and found this text between Mom and Daughter:


When you need someone to say the right thing, always call (or text) your Mom or Sister.

And this:

The last one reminds me of something I would text my sister. She keeps me in the loop. I remember last summer, when Justin Timberlake had a huge hit out ... can't remember off the top of my head which one ... and I thought it was a GIRL singing instead of him. So I called my sister and asked her what was up with the girl? Who was it? Etc., etc. Needless to say she had a good laugh about it (me).

I can be such a dork.

Anyway, back to my lame-o day.

Cancellation

To all my Rapid City clients - I am so bummed about the weather! Especially when it is going to be gorgeous next weekend! Thank you all for being flexible. We'll get your portraits taken well before the holidays, I promise. When I spoke with a couple of you, I think I heard relief in your voices when I suggested that 30 degree temperatures may not be the best idea for a portrait session.

So, can you believe we had the truck packed, we were on the 470 - 4o minutes into our drive when Wayne casually asked what the weather was going to be like in Rapid this weekend. I hadn't even checked! So after making phone calls, post-poning photoshoots, and deciding to stay put, we turned around and came home.

I am looking around at the mountain of camera gear, clothes, toys, and junk I now have to unpack and put away. Or maybe I should just take a nap instead? ;)

We hope to have everyone rescheduled shortly. I might open up another day for sessions since the first ones sold out so fast. I'll post more as soon as I know the schedule.

Weekend Update

1. The colors of the trees are so beautiful. Red, Yellow, and ... well, that's it. There's a shrub planted here and there in yards that I just love. It has the brightest red leaves I have ever seen. Just gorgeous. Thinking about sneaking into a yard with my camera so I have a reference when I go to the nursery.

2. Caeden and I baked cookie bars. This event happened just about 2 hours into my "no carb" diet. I believe chips and salsa also found a way to sabotage me. Dang diets. I think I am throwing all that to the wind and will just punish myself on the treadmill. So much easier.

3. Heading to Rapid City tomorrow for my holiday mini sessions. I am so excited and have so many ideas of things I want to do. I just hope it all works out as the temperatures look to be in the 40's. Brrrrrrr.....!

4. Caeden's fall festival was this weekend. Pumpkin patch, maze, firetruck, llamas, caramel apples, craft booths ... SO much fun. I was impressed! I had a booth to showcase my photography and met a bunch of great families. My favorite was a Mom who had a Nikon (I shoot Canon and it's always something I notice about other people) around her neck who casually kept walking by, peeking at some of my examples, but never making eye contact. Cracked me up. I do the same thing!

Back to laundry, house cleaning, and packing for our trip tomorrow ... SD here we come!

Shabby that Isn't ...

I was so sad when Shabby Chic filed for bankruptcy a while back. I have always been a fan of Rachel Ashwell's amazing bed linens, sofas, and style. It isn't often when someone doesn't comment on the comfort of their bed when they stay with us. I learned to layer, to be mindful of the way fabric feels, and to make sure - above all else - that comfort is met.

I remember for a birthday long ago, Wayne asked what I wanted. More than anything I wanted to visit one of these stores. So, off we went to Chicago. It was cold night in November. We drove straight from the airport directly to the store. By the time we arrived it was pouring rain, dark, and so cold. We ran inside and I promptly starting sketching custom pillows that I wanted to have made. I think the store help was a bit bewildered - wondering if I was a secret shopper or something ... as I walked around the store - owning it. :) My pile of sheets, pillows, and duvet covers grew as I added to my vision of the perfect bed.


To this day, when I make it all up and Wayne crawls into it, he will comment on how good it feels. It feels good 8 ... 9 ... years later. Good enough for a GUY to say something.

Anyway, I was thrilled to hear that she is back in business. Two stores - one in Santa Monica and one in NYC are open once again. Her latest blog post has tons of eye candy as far as sofas and furniture go. If you are into that sort of thing ... take a peek.

Irony

(unedited straight out of the camera)

(tweaked until the picture begged for mercy)

I have a bazillion dollars invested in a fantastic camera (Canon 5D Mark II), the very best lens' (50 mm 1.2L, 24-70 mm 2.8L, 16-35 L, 70-200 mm 2.8L, etc.), a power computer (Dual Mac), amazing software (CS4) and what do I do ...?

I take an image that should be perfect and tweak it until it looks like it was taken 50 years ago.
(click on photos for better view)

Irony...

In other news, I've got a blog for photography related stuff. This week is slow because Wayne is out of town so I didn't take bookings, but I have posted over there each day anyway. Clothing ideas, wall gallery ideas, etc. Some of the best shopping on the web is all listed on the side bar, too. Click on { Preview } Photography blog for more.

Effort to Improve

I have been thinking a lot about the things I need to improve upon. When you start to get on your own nerves, you know you've got a problem!

I joined the gym months ago and had not gone. Truth be told there are many weeks when it was impossible. With chemo, you cannot introduce kids to places that sickness lurkes, because we can't afford for them to bring it home to Wayne. So that leaves a good solid week a month where he is healthy enough to take it if the kids get sick. But on the good week he has, we are out doing other things - and I don't want to "waste" our nights running on the treadmill when he is feeling good enough to hang out with me.

So anyway, I haven't been working out. My stress level is high, my jeans don't fit the way they should, and I have had enough. So, no more excuses. Yesterday I went to the gym. Yesterday I came home with blood oozing through my socks from 4 blisters (from very cute but very unfriendly weekend shoes) that have set up residency on my toes. Tomorrow they will be bandaged and I'll try again...

The other thing I am working on is being a better Mom. I don't spend as much time as I should just hanging out with the kids. I am ashamed to say I find myself taking on projects, working, cleaning, running errands - all day long, and hardly ever sit to just snuggle or play. It's sad ... and it's stopping.

So, today I looked past the laundry, the dirty floors, the empty refrigerator, and my mile-long to list and focued on what is important.

We built train tracks and hand-mixers (made of out tinker toys). We ate at McDonalds for lunch and went to the party store so Caeden could pick out a bouquet of balloons (he sees me editing pictures of other kids with balloons and he gets a bit wistful for some of his own). As as much as he enjoyed them, the pictures look horrible because the balloons and the turning trees just don't quite go together. But he loved them, and that is what the point was ...


We went to the park and we took pictures. I got "the picture!" for Christmas cards. It's the one that is going to be ordered HUGE and placed above Grandpa and Grandma's sofa. They just don't know it yet...

Then we filled up water balloons and played "catch" in the front yard with them...enjoying one of the last really warm days of the year.





Taking a good hard look in the mirror was exactly what I needed to do. Look at what I would have missed. :(

When you have a Girl ...

You wish you knew how to sew so you could create something just like this for her...complete with the crocheted pea...






You find your name on websites for barrettes that need replacing because your girl keeps pulling them out of her hair and throwing them down in random places.

You make sure she is perfectly put together, coordinated down to the last detail - as you throw your hair in a pony tail and wear last year's 'lounge' pants when running to the grocery store ...
(no picture on THAT example for obvious reasons!)

When you have a girl ...

Weekend Update

We spent the weekend running around ... doing stuff.

Lindsay and Jordan watched the kids (thank you!!) so we could:
a) have a celebratory lunch at Houston's (the big 1-5 anniversary)
b) hit Kazoo Toys for their annual sale (Christmas shopping is almost done, people.) Their website offers 20% off through tomorrow. The store was 25% off, but it ended today.
c) enjoy the warm weather.

Then we ...

Bought Wayne some new clothes since nothing he owns fits him. Plus, he got two new pairs of shoes. He looks amazing.

Tomorrow Wayne heads to Seattle for the entire week. I imagine his business trips like this:

1. Flying with no one to chase after, keep entertained, free to give dirty looks to others who are not as fortunate (kidding!).
2. Stop off for a leisurely lunch with a friend or two. Eat while still hot.
3. Go to a meeting.
4. Head to the hotel for room service, watching anything on TV, going to bed rested.
5. Sleep in.
6. Breakfast that consists of more than burnt frozen waffles and desperate swallows of hot coffee.
7. Adult conversation and problem solving that does not include pleaing with a 4 year old.

He tells me it is nothing like this...

Yet I remain suspicious.

Into the Weekend

This one runs when he sees the camera. Or he grits his teeth. Or he starts acting crazy. All of those things makes me put the camera away ...

But not today.

Today I wanted to make sure I caught the funny faces, the "Awww, Mom ... not again!" look, and everything that makes Caeden, Caeden.

Into the weekend we go...with a bit of news about Wayne:

He had a blood transfusion today and his color and energy levels are both improving.
His local Oncologist went over his scans and said she was "very pleased." The woman is from Romania, and for her to say "very pleased" means things are GOOD! She told Wayne that she's hoping this last round of chemo (Oct. 12th) will send him into remission. We pray for that.

Into the weekend we go.

To Mom and Dad ...

photo: b-spLedid

Mom and Dad ...

Thank you.

A call is coming via phone to thank you.
A thank you card is coming in the mail to thank you.

Thank you.

For you know what.

For being YOU.

For being.

XOXO

Wayne & Val

15

15 years ago today...

I did not have the ability to see past Wayne. My future did not exist without him in it. Every move I made, every intention I had, was with him in mind. Nothing else mattered but him. He was my everything.

15 years ago today I said, "I do."

I do to good times and bad. Richer or poorer. For better or worse. Sickness and in health.

I do.

Not being able to predict what the future would hold for us, we went forward with the nativity of a (very) young couple, looking for our way in the world. We worked hard. We played hard. We laughed ... we cried. We celebrated and we fought. Sometimes we agreed - and sometimes we did not. There were years that flew by in an instant and there were years in which everyday was counted ... hard won.

There is a lot of living in 15 years' time. Each and every one of them is a precious gift that I will hold tightly for all my life. I think of our victories: having children after wondering if it would happen for us, our educations, success in professions, lifelong friendships, and the closeness of family... each a victory to be celebrated. Cherished.

And here we are. 15 years later. Not a Cinderella dress or tux to be found. No flowers or music or sparkling champagne. The intoxication of new love has ebbed into a solid, mature love. The kind of love I know to be real. To be counted on.

And while all that may seem different than how it started, it isn’t. The truth is, the young girl who looked at her husband, her Everything, and said ‘I do’ is still here. I always will be. Shiny or not. Fancy or not. Celebrated today or tomorrow, that precious love I hold for him has not changed. It’s as pure as it was then.

A forever ‘I do’ that just happens to be at number 15.

Fun Food-ish Finds

I stress out every Tuesday | Thursday because of lunch. Caeden doesn't eat sandwiches, and well, what else is there to take to school for lunch? Usually, I cheerfully announce, "It's breakfast for lunch today!" and show him his yogurt, cereal bar, and fruit combo waiting in his lunchbox. He looks up at me, knowing I struggle with this, and says something along the lines of, "I will eat it all, Mom."

Now that fall is here, I can pack soups and stuff in thermos' - but tonight I just stumbled upon this site: Design Mom (I think the guest blogger lives in Denver) and found some great ideas for dressing things up a bit. Mind you, food prep holds very little appeal to me. I like to bake. I like to cook. I like to eat. But taking the time to make things pretty is not my thing. I would rather do that with a camera, with a computer, with fun paper and glue than with food.

But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I can't wait for Caeden to open his lunch box tomorrow.

P.S. For those of you in the Denver area, do you know about this place? Sticky Fingers Cooking
A super cute cooking school geared for ages 2-10. They do classes, birthday parties, etc. Their website is packed full of information and fun things to look at. I love the mini-chef tool kits.

Now, look at this clever idea: Cooper's Tea Party. It's a tea party set with velco food on the table cloth. I can see Claire and I spending hours over something like this ... I mean, she'd crawl on top of it, and try to eat the items, and I would pull them out of her mouth and think I should have waited a year or two to do something like this ... anyway, I wish I could sew. Because then I could make pillows like this:

(Photo: Apartment Therapy via Etsy)
*edited to add: Here is the link to the tutorial Lindsay refers to in the comment section.

And in closing: My favorite TV Chef is Ina Garten. I have all her cookbooks lined up on my counter top where they get used and used and used. House Beautiful featured her kitchen and some of her favorite kitchen tips here: Tour. Here are some of my favorite images:

I love the desk by the big french doors. When I think about how I want my office to be, this is what I envision. Bright, simple, and inspiring. The fresh flowers are a must.


The flax color on the walls is color I am painting the basement. The beadboard will be a fresh, creamy white ... and sofas are the color of the drapes. A mellow, warm yellow.

I love the structure of this basket. I love the function of it even more! This would be a great idea for cookbooks, too.

All photos found here.

Rapid City Sessions | Sold Out!

Thank you all so much for your response! The Rapid City sessions are SOLD OUT! I cannot wait!
For those who have booked, please be looking for your information packets to be arriving in your inbox today.

In other news ... Wayne's blood count has dropped to near zero. This is totally expected, but it makes him tired and susceptible to everything under the sun. We have to be sure to keep our hands clean and steer clear of him in hopes that he doesn't catch anything that might be brewing.

I have been painting Caeden's room the past 3 days (takes that long when you can only do it when they are asleep). I have a bunch of pictures to share from my handy dandy iPhone, but our internet connection is flakey - at best - and I can't get the connection to hold long enough to post the rest. More to come another day.

One last fun thing to share: SHAKE IT PHOTO APP. Takes polaroids using your iphone. How fun!

Holiday Photography Sessions | Rapid City SD

CLICK on image so you don't blind yourself trying to read the postcard.

{It seems fitting to post this today as it is SNOWING here!}

First of all, thank you for all your responses regarding the Rapid City sessions! I am so excited that you all are interested. We will have so much fun!

The dates are October 8-10th (and maybe 11th if the other 3 days fill up). The trees will be amazing, the weather won't be (too cold), and the craziness of the holidays will not have you running around with your head cut off (coming soon).

I will be offering digital rights to 5 of your proofs so you will have Christmas card files to upload. You can also order them through me as I have gorgeous cards to offer (that you won't see everywhere else).

If you want a longer session (and you will if you have more than 1 or 2 children), or a different location, I recommend booking a traditional time slot of 1-2 hours. But don't worry, I have special holiday pricing for those as well.

I will have great props, but we can talk about all that after you book your session. No need to overwhelm you yet!

Email me at valerie@beinthemoment.net for more information | to book your session | ask questions.

Bring on the holidays!!!

XO

Val