Weekend Update

Wayne needed assistance getting to Houston. He hasn't eaten anything of substance in over a week, and has lost at least 10 pounds ... probably more. Worried that he would not be able to carry his luggage, walk through the airport, or get himself food once he was in his hotel, I asked his best friend Randy to go with him.

And Randy said yes instantly.
And his wife Kaycee was amazing and supportive
and sent him off with a smile ...
(Kaycee JUST moved to Denver a week ago with the 4 kids - she has a TON on her plate.)

And when Wayne woke up and I told him what I did, he got mad. Really mad.

So is the cycle. Him not knowing what is best... What his limitations are.
Me second-guessing my decisions when he gets upset.

Trying to be more empathic and understanding to him while also growing a THICKER skin. Easier said than done.

So those of you who think we are some sort of power couple and tackling Cancer without issue, please know we are just human and doing the best we can.
Wayne has bad days. I have bad days.
Sometimes he feels bitter. I feel guilt. We both feel joy. 
I am not some sort of cheerleader or super wife.
He is not always strong.
We are just human. 


And I want to share that side of things with you.
The real side of battling cancer.
And ... it's another reason I took comments off.
I don't think I could stand to share some of this if I had to worry
what people would say.

So read at your own risk, okay?

Now Wayne is gone. Flying to Houston as I type this (with Randy, thank goodness). And he texted me twice, which is more communication than we have had in days, which means two things:
he is feeling better and he is glad Randy is with him.

This morning I took the kids to church and then to McDonalds for lunch. Claire kept saying, "Church! Church," like I was FINALLY taking her somewhere she has been wanting to go (that picture is her all cute this morning). 

And Caeden. Oh Caeden. He said, "Now Mom, I am thinking this kindergarten isn't for me. I want Gold Rush." And I explained Church and School were different ... he knows this, right? He didn't. So, we will be going every Sunday. What a wake up call.

And here I am this morning via brilliant budding photographer Claire. I let her use the phone for brief moments while I get ready because it's the only thing that allows me to handle a hot curling iron without fear she will grab for it. Anyway, she loves to take pictures. 

Just like her Mama. Love that.

So.

We are now waiting for news from Houston. 

We'll know something on Tuesday.

Listening to these songs quite a bit lately:


Stuck in  a Moment by U2

Why Georgia by John Mayer