Irony

(unedited straight out of the camera)

(tweaked until the picture begged for mercy)

I have a bazillion dollars invested in a fantastic camera (Canon 5D Mark II), the very best lens' (50 mm 1.2L, 24-70 mm 2.8L, 16-35 L, 70-200 mm 2.8L, etc.), a power computer (Dual Mac), amazing software (CS4) and what do I do ...?

I take an image that should be perfect and tweak it until it looks like it was taken 50 years ago.
(click on photos for better view)

Irony...

In other news, I've got a blog for photography related stuff. This week is slow because Wayne is out of town so I didn't take bookings, but I have posted over there each day anyway. Clothing ideas, wall gallery ideas, etc. Some of the best shopping on the web is all listed on the side bar, too. Click on { Preview } Photography blog for more.

Effort to Improve

I have been thinking a lot about the things I need to improve upon. When you start to get on your own nerves, you know you've got a problem!

I joined the gym months ago and had not gone. Truth be told there are many weeks when it was impossible. With chemo, you cannot introduce kids to places that sickness lurkes, because we can't afford for them to bring it home to Wayne. So that leaves a good solid week a month where he is healthy enough to take it if the kids get sick. But on the good week he has, we are out doing other things - and I don't want to "waste" our nights running on the treadmill when he is feeling good enough to hang out with me.

So anyway, I haven't been working out. My stress level is high, my jeans don't fit the way they should, and I have had enough. So, no more excuses. Yesterday I went to the gym. Yesterday I came home with blood oozing through my socks from 4 blisters (from very cute but very unfriendly weekend shoes) that have set up residency on my toes. Tomorrow they will be bandaged and I'll try again...

The other thing I am working on is being a better Mom. I don't spend as much time as I should just hanging out with the kids. I am ashamed to say I find myself taking on projects, working, cleaning, running errands - all day long, and hardly ever sit to just snuggle or play. It's sad ... and it's stopping.

So, today I looked past the laundry, the dirty floors, the empty refrigerator, and my mile-long to list and focued on what is important.

We built train tracks and hand-mixers (made of out tinker toys). We ate at McDonalds for lunch and went to the party store so Caeden could pick out a bouquet of balloons (he sees me editing pictures of other kids with balloons and he gets a bit wistful for some of his own). As as much as he enjoyed them, the pictures look horrible because the balloons and the turning trees just don't quite go together. But he loved them, and that is what the point was ...


We went to the park and we took pictures. I got "the picture!" for Christmas cards. It's the one that is going to be ordered HUGE and placed above Grandpa and Grandma's sofa. They just don't know it yet...

Then we filled up water balloons and played "catch" in the front yard with them...enjoying one of the last really warm days of the year.





Taking a good hard look in the mirror was exactly what I needed to do. Look at what I would have missed. :(

When you have a Girl ...

You wish you knew how to sew so you could create something just like this for her...complete with the crocheted pea...






You find your name on websites for barrettes that need replacing because your girl keeps pulling them out of her hair and throwing them down in random places.

You make sure she is perfectly put together, coordinated down to the last detail - as you throw your hair in a pony tail and wear last year's 'lounge' pants when running to the grocery store ...
(no picture on THAT example for obvious reasons!)

When you have a girl ...

Weekend Update

We spent the weekend running around ... doing stuff.

Lindsay and Jordan watched the kids (thank you!!) so we could:
a) have a celebratory lunch at Houston's (the big 1-5 anniversary)
b) hit Kazoo Toys for their annual sale (Christmas shopping is almost done, people.) Their website offers 20% off through tomorrow. The store was 25% off, but it ended today.
c) enjoy the warm weather.

Then we ...

Bought Wayne some new clothes since nothing he owns fits him. Plus, he got two new pairs of shoes. He looks amazing.

Tomorrow Wayne heads to Seattle for the entire week. I imagine his business trips like this:

1. Flying with no one to chase after, keep entertained, free to give dirty looks to others who are not as fortunate (kidding!).
2. Stop off for a leisurely lunch with a friend or two. Eat while still hot.
3. Go to a meeting.
4. Head to the hotel for room service, watching anything on TV, going to bed rested.
5. Sleep in.
6. Breakfast that consists of more than burnt frozen waffles and desperate swallows of hot coffee.
7. Adult conversation and problem solving that does not include pleaing with a 4 year old.

He tells me it is nothing like this...

Yet I remain suspicious.

Into the Weekend

This one runs when he sees the camera. Or he grits his teeth. Or he starts acting crazy. All of those things makes me put the camera away ...

But not today.

Today I wanted to make sure I caught the funny faces, the "Awww, Mom ... not again!" look, and everything that makes Caeden, Caeden.

Into the weekend we go...with a bit of news about Wayne:

He had a blood transfusion today and his color and energy levels are both improving.
His local Oncologist went over his scans and said she was "very pleased." The woman is from Romania, and for her to say "very pleased" means things are GOOD! She told Wayne that she's hoping this last round of chemo (Oct. 12th) will send him into remission. We pray for that.

Into the weekend we go.

To Mom and Dad ...

photo: b-spLedid

Mom and Dad ...

Thank you.

A call is coming via phone to thank you.
A thank you card is coming in the mail to thank you.

Thank you.

For you know what.

For being YOU.

For being.

XOXO

Wayne & Val

15

15 years ago today...

I did not have the ability to see past Wayne. My future did not exist without him in it. Every move I made, every intention I had, was with him in mind. Nothing else mattered but him. He was my everything.

15 years ago today I said, "I do."

I do to good times and bad. Richer or poorer. For better or worse. Sickness and in health.

I do.

Not being able to predict what the future would hold for us, we went forward with the nativity of a (very) young couple, looking for our way in the world. We worked hard. We played hard. We laughed ... we cried. We celebrated and we fought. Sometimes we agreed - and sometimes we did not. There were years that flew by in an instant and there were years in which everyday was counted ... hard won.

There is a lot of living in 15 years' time. Each and every one of them is a precious gift that I will hold tightly for all my life. I think of our victories: having children after wondering if it would happen for us, our educations, success in professions, lifelong friendships, and the closeness of family... each a victory to be celebrated. Cherished.

And here we are. 15 years later. Not a Cinderella dress or tux to be found. No flowers or music or sparkling champagne. The intoxication of new love has ebbed into a solid, mature love. The kind of love I know to be real. To be counted on.

And while all that may seem different than how it started, it isn’t. The truth is, the young girl who looked at her husband, her Everything, and said ‘I do’ is still here. I always will be. Shiny or not. Fancy or not. Celebrated today or tomorrow, that precious love I hold for him has not changed. It’s as pure as it was then.

A forever ‘I do’ that just happens to be at number 15.

Fun Food-ish Finds

I stress out every Tuesday | Thursday because of lunch. Caeden doesn't eat sandwiches, and well, what else is there to take to school for lunch? Usually, I cheerfully announce, "It's breakfast for lunch today!" and show him his yogurt, cereal bar, and fruit combo waiting in his lunchbox. He looks up at me, knowing I struggle with this, and says something along the lines of, "I will eat it all, Mom."

Now that fall is here, I can pack soups and stuff in thermos' - but tonight I just stumbled upon this site: Design Mom (I think the guest blogger lives in Denver) and found some great ideas for dressing things up a bit. Mind you, food prep holds very little appeal to me. I like to bake. I like to cook. I like to eat. But taking the time to make things pretty is not my thing. I would rather do that with a camera, with a computer, with fun paper and glue than with food.

But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I can't wait for Caeden to open his lunch box tomorrow.

P.S. For those of you in the Denver area, do you know about this place? Sticky Fingers Cooking
A super cute cooking school geared for ages 2-10. They do classes, birthday parties, etc. Their website is packed full of information and fun things to look at. I love the mini-chef tool kits.

Now, look at this clever idea: Cooper's Tea Party. It's a tea party set with velco food on the table cloth. I can see Claire and I spending hours over something like this ... I mean, she'd crawl on top of it, and try to eat the items, and I would pull them out of her mouth and think I should have waited a year or two to do something like this ... anyway, I wish I could sew. Because then I could make pillows like this:

(Photo: Apartment Therapy via Etsy)
*edited to add: Here is the link to the tutorial Lindsay refers to in the comment section.

And in closing: My favorite TV Chef is Ina Garten. I have all her cookbooks lined up on my counter top where they get used and used and used. House Beautiful featured her kitchen and some of her favorite kitchen tips here: Tour. Here are some of my favorite images:

I love the desk by the big french doors. When I think about how I want my office to be, this is what I envision. Bright, simple, and inspiring. The fresh flowers are a must.


The flax color on the walls is color I am painting the basement. The beadboard will be a fresh, creamy white ... and sofas are the color of the drapes. A mellow, warm yellow.

I love the structure of this basket. I love the function of it even more! This would be a great idea for cookbooks, too.

All photos found here.

Rapid City Sessions | Sold Out!

Thank you all so much for your response! The Rapid City sessions are SOLD OUT! I cannot wait!
For those who have booked, please be looking for your information packets to be arriving in your inbox today.

In other news ... Wayne's blood count has dropped to near zero. This is totally expected, but it makes him tired and susceptible to everything under the sun. We have to be sure to keep our hands clean and steer clear of him in hopes that he doesn't catch anything that might be brewing.

I have been painting Caeden's room the past 3 days (takes that long when you can only do it when they are asleep). I have a bunch of pictures to share from my handy dandy iPhone, but our internet connection is flakey - at best - and I can't get the connection to hold long enough to post the rest. More to come another day.

One last fun thing to share: SHAKE IT PHOTO APP. Takes polaroids using your iphone. How fun!

Holiday Photography Sessions | Rapid City SD

CLICK on image so you don't blind yourself trying to read the postcard.

{It seems fitting to post this today as it is SNOWING here!}

First of all, thank you for all your responses regarding the Rapid City sessions! I am so excited that you all are interested. We will have so much fun!

The dates are October 8-10th (and maybe 11th if the other 3 days fill up). The trees will be amazing, the weather won't be (too cold), and the craziness of the holidays will not have you running around with your head cut off (coming soon).

I will be offering digital rights to 5 of your proofs so you will have Christmas card files to upload. You can also order them through me as I have gorgeous cards to offer (that you won't see everywhere else).

If you want a longer session (and you will if you have more than 1 or 2 children), or a different location, I recommend booking a traditional time slot of 1-2 hours. But don't worry, I have special holiday pricing for those as well.

I will have great props, but we can talk about all that after you book your session. No need to overwhelm you yet!

Email me at valerie@beinthemoment.net for more information | to book your session | ask questions.

Bring on the holidays!!!

XO

Val

Fall Nesting

Wayne is asleep on the sofa, totally oblivious to all the craziness of a morning with two little ones running around. I peek at his face, to see if he heard: Claire's frustration of trying to keep up with Caeden, Caeden's LOUD car he drives across the floor, dishes clanging against the counter tops, splashing and screams of delight coming from the bathtub ...

No. His face doesn't even move. He's sound asleep.

I look around the house and see unfinished art projects on the table, wet towels laying on the floor from the kids' bubble bath, and dishes that seem to multiply like bunnies in the sink.

I ignore all of it, and head to my computer and look for fall decor inspiration.


This first picture has nothing to do with fall, but everything to do with CUTE. I ripped this page out of my Real Simple magazine a month ago. I am going to do this with Claire's shoes. And her red polka dot bikini she wore this summer.

OK, onto fall:



Pottery Barn used to be my go-to catalog for inspiration, but over the past few years it seems sort of ... stagnant. The same ol' same ol. But, I do love this centerpiece. I just picked up Honey Crisp apples at the store yesterday (if you do not know what I am talking about, do yourself a favor and get some. The juiciest, sweetest, crispest apples you will ever eat) and thought they will look cute piled up like this. I think my favorite item on this display is the popcorn balls tied with orange polka ribbon on the top.



Next, my very favorite store of all time, Curious Sofa, knows how to do it up. Deb is the master of display and vision, and comes up with non-stop eye candy in her store. Here is a picture of what I mean. How clever is that witch?! I am so doing that this year. I just need to find a glorious urn (or two).

In years past, I have purchased pumpkins, and used opaque white pens to write phrases on them. I top it off with a beautiful, floppy ribbon tied to the stem.

And a tradition I started with the kids (I will post pictures when I dig them out) is:

Bought a cheap plastic pumpkin, painted it black, and every year write what the kids were for Halloween on it.

Off to dig out my fall stuff ...

Day 5

Wayne is nearly complete with cycle 7. Tomorrow he goes uptown to get his pump disconnected, and then ... done. He is tired. I can see it in eyes. When he sits in a chair, his eyes automatically close. He doesn't eat very much (well, he didn't eat pasta tonight ... could have been my cooking, I suppose...).

Most sarcoma patients endure 6 rounds of this chemo. It is hard on your heart - and 6 rounds is about it. Wayne did two rounds before we found our way to Houston. His Oncologist there believes things start and stop with him, so according to him, Wayne has completed round 5. Not to worry, though. His heart function is still within reasonable limits ... but man, his poor body is enduring so much.

The weather is turning cooler here. Trees are starting to boast orange and yellow leaves, and the fire pit outside Allen and Jody's house (our neighbors) feels wonderful. Soon Halloween will be here and Wayne will be feeling so much better. We cannot wait.

I am going to try and make a trip back to Rapid in October. I'd like to see if there is any interest in some holiday mini-sessions while I'm back. I have some great locations (and fun props if you want) in mind. The low-down: All-inclusive Session (30-45 minutes), Digital Negatives (20-30) with copyright release (they are all yours), a few large prints, and holiday cards. I am still working out the price (which will be hard to resist, I promise!). If you are interested in booking a session, please email me at valerie@beinthemoment.net. If there is enough interest, I will post a firm date and will start booking sessions.

Have a great weekend.

Day 4 down and we are heading into the home stretch. Things are going really well. Caeden had a trike-a-thon today that I couldn't attend but heard it was a blast. Seems like he might have a little girlfriend that we didn't know about (more on that later). I just wanted to login for a bit and say thanks for all the support and prayers. Only one more day!

Wayne

Day 3

Wayne is still hanging in there...

Day 2

Wayne and his Dad are at the hospital, and so far so good! Of course, as soon as he starts chemo, the weather dries/clears up (for pictures). I was hoping to post some of him and the kids so you could see how good he looks. Maybe next week...

I'm going to get a booth at Caeden's schools' Fall Festival in a couple of weeks and worked on my postcard this morning: It's a 5x7 Flat Card/Printed on both sides ...



My goal is to have a studio by next summer. Planning on working very hard to
make that happen ... also, I posted more previews on the photography blog (link on sidebar).

*Wayne update*
Just got a text and he is still doing great! Still a texting maniac. ;)
And knowing his Dad is with him makes me feel so good. They're probably playing 3 card poker and eating cheese steaks. Or sleeping. Or talking. Or whatever. The point is, Wayne is not alone.

More tomorrow ...

Day 1 of Cycle 7

Wayne is at the hospital this morning - gearing up for Day 1. As we pulled out of the driveway, he said, "By mid-October this (chemo protocol) will be all over with."

We are both wishing we could just fast-forward to that point. There is so much to look forward to. The biggest, of course, is that he will be feeling good for at least a 2 month stretch. Now, it's for a few days. I just can't wait for him to feel like himself for long periods of time. For him to be able to enjoy himself and the kids ... to be able to celebrate the holidays and to be able to think about something other than chemo and hospitals (although you know we will still be thinking about it a lot).

So today, we swung by the donut shop to bring donuts for the patients and staff. Something to say thank you. An act of "I am still OK to eat. I hope you are, too."

Claire is down for her morning nap and Caeden is playing with his train. I am grateful to be here with them, but wishing I was there with him. He is so brave. I know you all know him to be funny and sarcastic and caring. But do you know just how amazingly brave he is? He never complains. He goes into the hospital this morning talking about all the work he needs to get done - conference calls, meetings, and work. He says this for me. I know it's his way of trying to tell me it's just another day for him. I wish that were true, because all I want to do is sit as close as I can to him and talk about fast-forwarding to mid-October. Walks in neighborhood, trick or treating with the kids, decorating the house for the holidays, Christmas shopping and getting together with friends and family. Talking about our 15th anniversary. Talk about how much I love him.

But for now, I watch the clock and wait for him to tell me I can come get him.

I wait.

A New Look

I have been busy proofing client sessions (which I can't wait to share!) and re-doing my blog(s) and website. Wayne asked if I needed some sort of intervention for computer addiction ... and he may be right! It's just that I LOVE what I am doing, and I have so much to do!

My Uncle Tom did an amazing thing yesterday. He donated his kidney to my other Uncle (related by marriage - not blood relatives) who has been in desperate need of a kidney. We are so proud of Uncle Tom and so thankful that Uncle Les is doing great!!

This morning we took the kids to Berry Patch Farm. It's an all organic pick-your-own farm about 45 minutes north of Parker. We had a blast picking raspberries. Raspberries have folate (which help with red blood cell counts) and are a huge anti-carcinogenic fruit. So you can just imagine ... our freezer is STOCKED for the winter.

Well, off to do more proofing ...

Update on Wayne

Wayne got his test results back today. His tumors are stabilized and are slightly smaller than last scan. We are so thankful! The plan going forward is 2 more rounds and then a nice, long break over the holidays. We are looking so forward to that time, I can't even begin to express it in words.

One of the hardest things (for me) about chemo is that they do not allow children in the treatment room (for good reason). So it leaves me out in the cold while he is there. I am always grateful that his Dad comes down to keep him company, I am, but it's hard to chase after kids and not be distracted when I know Wayne is at the hospital undergoing chemo without me beside him. I know there are a lot of people who feel just as helpless...

I post this picture of Claire because whenever I look at it, it makes me feel so calm. She was focused so intently on the flower that she didn't notice the drool coming out of her mouth. I love that. And as we gear up for another round, I will try as many ways as I can to be calm.

Can't wait to see Wayne tonight. And to have the weekend when he feels so good.

Good Morning

The sunflowers are drying up in my favorite field to take clients for shoots. I had to drag Claire out there before the last patch was gone ...

And wouldn't you know it, my favorite shot doesn't even have a flower in it. All that hurrying for no good reason.

A sneak peek for another family is posted ... You know who you are! :)

Sneak a Peek Here

Breakfast Conversation

Over breakfast this morning, Caeden casually said: "Mom, when Dad gets home I am going to take care of all his cancer bugs."

Me (trying to not be surprised he would say such a thing over a cinnamon roll): "That would be great, buddy. How are you going to do that?"

Him: "Well, all he needs is a shot in the stomach to suck them all out. It won't be too bad."

I think he'd (WE'D) like that very much, Caeden. Very much.

Weekend Update

So, we had a BBQ this weekend. Wayne made pulled pork, ribs, and jalapeno poppers. I was lame and just made beans, but I DID clean the house. That counts. But not as much as the pulled pork, I tell ya.

Everyone came over. And by everyone, I mean most everyone we know. It was so much fun! The food was out of this world - everyone brought food galore, and we ate it. Boy did we eat it.

So, after chatting, chasing kids, eating, chatting some more, drinking some sangria and margaritas, more chasing ... I finally remember to grab my camera. But, dang it, most everyone was already gone. But I did manage to catch my sister (Hi Lindsay! You looked so dang cute tonight.) and Jordan (Hey J!) with C-Bear (who just got her first tooth this morning, thank you.)


I did all sorts of fancy stuff to these. Sharpened for web, saved as sRGB, resized ...
and they look horrible! Going back to old way (the way of not doing anything fancy) to pictures next time. But, tonight I am too lazy and tired to repost, so stick with me here (but clicking on photos to enlarge them does help...)

Wayne heads to Houston tomorrow for 2 days of scans and tests, followed up with a meeting with Dr. Patel. He's got one more week and then round #7 starts a week from today.
It was awesome to have him feeling so good during our bash. Really wonderful way to end the summer. Feeling really grateful and blessed tonight.

Not So Sneak Peek

Adorable children + Gorgeous Mama = a gazillion pictures to proof!

Happy Labor Day weekend!

Date Night

Mila is a teacher at Caeden's school. She is beautiful inside and out ... and I just have a feeling that we're going to be great friends. Don't you love it when you have that feeling?

Well, Mila is coming over tonight to watch the kids while Wayne and I go out for a drink & a appetizer at Capitol Grill - one of his most favorite restaurants ever.

When we lived in KC, and before children, we'd go there about once a week...(fading out to remember what it was like to have disposable income ... OK ... I'm back. Kids are definitely worth the trade...wait ... fading back out again ...)

And all the anticipation for going out has done wonders for our moods. We're hosting a BBQ on Labor Day. Wayne is breaking out the Green Egg and smokin' up some pulled pork & ribs. I'm making my friend Amy's awesome Cowboy Baked Beans, etc. Hopefully everyone will come! Maybe I will go 'Pioneer Woman Style' and take pictures of Wayne's secret rib technique.

Also, have a photoshoot tomorrow and am going to paint Caeden's room.

Busy around here! Wish I could say the same for our dang' basement. Plumber and Electrician were supposed to be here and done by today ... and neither have shown up. Kind of the way it goes, so I hear.

Oh well. We have date night to look forward to and a BBQ to plan!

Latest Finds

Peaches are still showing up at the Farmer's Market here in Colorado ... and all I've done with them this year is cut them up for my 15 month old (that still does not have teeth). But I came across this recipe, and well, Peach Cupcakes sound divine, don't they?


The Framing Companies I am using are amazing. Two are totally custom and the options are limitless. Wild Sorbet & Firefly Frames & Obrien-Schridde Designs.


The Vintage Pearl was featured on Nie Nie's blog. The design is simple but so sentimental. The perfect gift for someone dear to you.

I love design blogs, and Apartment Therapy is a blog based out of NYC. This particular link is to a room with fabulous frame design above the bed. In case you were ever wondering how to decorate that space for yourself ...

And last, a yummy tomato corn salad ... for those lucky enough to find/grow fresh tomatoes ...

Secret to a Happy Marriage

(Our first date after Caeden was born circa 2005)

We haven't been focusing much on the marriage side of things around here. Stress has us
annoyed with the little things about each other. You know sometimes when you just aren't clicking with your partner??

I say this for a reason.

The reason is, the other day I posted on my brother-in-law's blog that I needed a date night, and jokingly wondered if Wayne would be up for going to California.

Well, he read that comment.

And looked into tickets to fly us there.

He mentioned this last night, while we were contemplating whether our family vacation should include airline tickets OR hotel rooms in Jackson, WY that run a cool $4oo a night.

We end up confused and discouraged and go to sleep without any sort of plan at all.

But last night, after his comment about California, I tossed and turned in bed, afraid to wake him up, but wanting to tell him how much that airline search meant to me. Even if we go nowhere - he was paying attention to what I (jokingly) mentioned. And it is something he has always been really good at - paying attention. And something I am not so good at. I seem to bounce from one thing to the next, juggling all the balls in the air and trying not to drop one - and never really noticing what color they are.

No matter if we get on each others' nerves, it's the little things like paying attention that are actually the huge things that make everything OK. I really believe it's the secret to a happy (not perfect, but truly happy) marriage. I really love that about Wayne. And when he does things like that, it makes me sit up and take notice of what things I can do to be better to him. The thing is, a good partner makes you want to be a better person. To grow, to change - for the better. And that is what he does for me.

So, he mentioned he was in the mood for Capital Grill's calamari this morning. So, I have a friend coming to the house on Thursday night and that is what we're going to do (Surprise, Wayne!). Because paying attention is important. It's really, really important.

This blog is posting about other secrets to happy marriages right now. It's a good read.