Update On Wayne

Wayne has been spending his days in the hospital and coming home at night to sleep.
Tomorrow he gets a blood transfusion and it should make him feel much better.
His appetite is finally coming around.
There's no way he can make his reunion but the outpouring from his friends has been tremendous. Each and every text, email, Facebook ping ... means the world to him (calling is not so good).

Thank you for checking in...

38.

We are supposed to be in Rapid City today.

Wayne is supposed to be celebrating his 38th birthday with smiles, and hugs, and presents.

He is supposed to be celebrated. To feel like being celebrated.

But that isn't how it is happening.

Yesterday he was in the hospital here in Denver.

A fever, dehydration, and total nausea had his Oncologist wanting to admit him to stay there.

But he wanted his own bed. 

His pillow.

The smells and comforts of home.

His kids.

He wanted to come home.

My kids were split between two girlfriends (to whom I will always be thankful for)

so that I could get to the hospital.

And I took him home.

In the meantime, his parents raced down from Rapid City to be with him. With us.

They are here now.

His Dad, unlike me, is able to get Wayne to eat.

His Dad brings a silent strength to the house and it instantly eases Wayne.

His Mom scoops the kids up, holding them tight, not as a substitute to Wayne, but as close as it gets to Wayne for her. She loves on them and plays with them. And they her.

And Wayne.

He turns 38 today.

I have known him for more of his life than I haven't known him.

And today he didn't have the strength to open his cards or presents.

Today he walked out the door, back to the hospital, with his Dad.

And the candle ... that he did manage to blow out ... still sits on the table.

We hope he is better this afternoon, and that he can let us celebrate him.

But if can't, we know there is tomorrow.

And we are all holding out for a better tomorrow.

Wide Open Spaces

(Posted this image on Facebook already, but it's all I've got at 5:30 in the morning)

This morning we are on our way to Rapid City.

Wayne's birthday is tomorrow.

Will probably celebrate it in Deadwood like we did last year.

His 20th Reunion is this weekend.

He's really looking forward to it (so am I).

Photoshoots this week to keep me busy.

I'll be taking lots of pictures and will post them along the way...

P.S. Just a random little something ...
Claire still only has 6 teeth.
Trying not to think that is strange ... but it IS strange, right?

Pretty Things & Ideas.

Came across this free download. Absolutely love this idea:

Print graphic and frame under glass...use a dry erase marker to write your meal plans.

Download here via Ollibird.

I love this sweet and simple idea for dining outdoors. A flower chandelier.

via Sweet Paul

And finally, a sweet image I am going to totally recreate up in South Dakota this week.

Except going to try and get Claire in front of it with her baby doll ...

I get spoiled in SD because I can just walk outside the house and shoot 

in locations that look like this. Love that.

via Design Mom

Pride.

This morning I explained to Caeden about the symbolism of fireworks and why the 4th of July is special. He took it a step further. And it went a little something like this:

C: So, I am proud to live in America. I am proud to live on the earth. We should take care of it and pick up litter!

So that's what we did. 

After eating donuts (a weekend tradition at our house) we headed outside to the field directly behind the house to pick up litter. 

Seriously. I could not be any more proud of my son. Love him. 

And here is C Bear rocking her Matilda Jane outfit of the day. I think I have a close up of her so you can see her chocolate frosting donut stains on it ... 3 minutes after getting dressed. :)

Oh yes. Two of them. That's how we roll, people. 

Is he not the cutest little man? This outfit is his favorite, and I have to wash it daily so he has it to wear. So funny. But really, don't blame him. His t-shirt is limited edition Matilda Jane and is super, super soft. You would think I owned shares in MJ the way I talk about it, huh? But I adore everything about that company. The owners are visionary and as genuine they come. 

So that was our morning. 

Supposed to be at church right now, but Claire couldn't wait for bed ... up at the crack of dawn, that girl.

So, to all of you who attend SE Church, did you know you can  

download their sermons on iTunes? 

I have eight downloading as we speak ... so cool!

Timing.

1. Wayne is done with chemo for a week. It falls at a good time for him because we've got the 4th, his birthday (38th), and his 20th High School Reunion next weekend. 

Perfect timing.

2. Yesterday Caeden spent the day with his new buddies, N and E. They came over for a play date and we had a blast. They managed to team up on me and show me no mercy. Baseball bat, water guns, etc. were used to make me surrender over and over. 

They were so cute ... but hostile! :)  

N said a prayer before lunch and it was one of the sweetest prayers I've ever heard. I could listen to him say, "Miss Valerie," over and over. Such a honey.

These pics were taken with my humble iPhone, but you get the idea of what they were up to.

Where the water fight started ...

(no helmet to fit her so she just pushed it around)

Band aid covering a scratch somehow obtained from riding in the motorized truck.

This pic was taken just as I told Caeden that he was invited to go along with N and E's family to a baseball game (his first ever) and watch fireworks. They jumped around and hugged because they were so excited. Even made a secret hand shake. 

Melted me.

N asking what would happen if he ate a fly. Looks like he was really thinking about it, huh?

And of course, the truck. 

3. A couple of weeks ago I became the recipient of a running injury. Sometimes it is so bad that I cannot walk (but have found Vicodin and it helps so much), or involuntarily cry out when I step on my leg. It's pretty bad. I have been going to PT and it seems to be helping, although running is completely out of the picture. So I have been walking on the treadmill instead ... and watching as everyone else runs ( I am the loser "working out" at a snails pace - I promise never to judge a walker at the gym again!! - Not that I ever did, mind you...)

Bad timing with so much going on (Miss you Jami! Wish you were all here!!)

4. C-Bear has been styling in her Matilda Jane outfits 

(came home with a suitcase full of goodness for her). 

Doesn't matter where I take her - the grocery store, Target, just out and about at the gym 

... I get stopped and asked where I get her outfits.

You, too, can dress your daughter in MJ ... 

and you might want to get some on the 7th when they have a 40% sale!!

Click here for all things good at MJ

Great timing, wouldn't you say?

Funny, I stick this pic in when Claire is NOT wearing MJ. Still funny though, cuz all this sweet little chub wants to do is eat. LOL

5. Headed up to Rapid City on Tuesday. Photo shoots, old friends, new friends, Grandma and Grandpa, Lucy Goosie Bad Dog, Deadwood, Sturgis Reunion ... we will be there soon!

Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend!

A Girl.

This is all I can really say about her ...

1. She is just as beautiful on the inside.

2. She is nine.

3. Her Mother does a crazy good job of raising her and her siblings (and home-schools her, too).

4. We were connected at the hip the entire Matilda Jane weekend.

5. She would call me on her Mom's phone to see what I was doing. 

6. She came to the hotel room to see where I slept.

7. Had the most amazing response to the camera. I could say, 

"Smile with your eyes, darling..." and she knew just what to do.

8. Adore her and miss her.

9. She makes me look forward to watching my Claire Bear grow.

That's all I can say about this girl (privacy).
But I hope my words make it clear how great she is.
And I hope it's enough.

All Mine.

Tonight after I put Claire to sleep, Caeden and I headed to the creek.

Not one to pose (or let me pose him, I guess) I get a lot of shots that look like this. No face. Or an annoyed face (takes after his Dad on that). Or just a "please put the camera down" face.

So we skipped rocks.

Found sticks to draw in the sand.

He explored the water while I sat on the bank and watched him in his sweet five year old way that he has about him.

Couldn't love him anymore, but then the next day, I do.

These kids. They are my everything.
No one warned me...
And the surprise of them never gets old.

And while I get lots of these (not going to smile) shots, I love them all the same. 

Because truth be told, when you have toes like this, a smile on your face is way overrated.

And when it was all said and done, he grabbed my hand and we walked back to the truck together. "Mom, I really love you. Thanks for the special date."

Thinking that I love his manners ... and the way he speaks .... and thinks ... and loves.

And I think, even when I doubt myself ... and what I am doing to make my family better ... happier ... safer ... I look at Caeden and know I am not doing so bad.

My everything(s). Together we will get through anything.

Well Hello

So sorry I have been MIA. Last weekend was crazy fun and amazing. I met the most brilliant and creative and fun and uber cool people this weekend. Had to pinch myself many times because I couldn't believe I was hanging with them!  :) More on them tomorrow...

Can I just say I will always and forever be loyal to Matilda Jane?? Always!




I have been trying to play catch up with all the session editing and finally posted last client session online so I feel like I can blog and not feel guilty about the million things I need to do (as my children fend for themselves right now ... ha!)

I have so many pictures and stories and experiences to share. I want to do it right and give you great blog posts this week, so I will take some time today and organize and edit ...

...and be a brilliant blogger this week!

First up: Wayne is doing okay. He is in week two of chemo and is functioning great. Not eating much but is trying. He will be on break next week but that is usually the week he feels the worst. Caeden drew a picture of him this morning and there was hair on his head. Caeden said, "This is Daddy before...."

Killed me.

Dan Patrick, a colleague of Wayne's ... and a friend to us both, is riding 90 miles for Wayne in the LIVESTRONG Challenge in Austin, TX. It's Oct 22-24. We will do our best to get there to support him. (It was awful not to be in Seattle for LIVESTRONG to cheer everyone on over Father's Day weekend.)

Second: The kids are fantastic. Loved spending the past weekend with their Grandpa. I wish every day they lived down the street. How many people can say that about their in-laws?

Third: Friendship ... tomorrow's post is dedicated to my amazing friend Jami. Can't wait to tell you all about her and the other wickedly brilliant and creative women I met. 
It was so good for my soul...

Super Short and Sweet

1. Claire in 10th percentile for height. That girl does not take after her Mama one ioda!

2. Editing pictures like a lunatic but still am not going to have anything to show until next week.

3. Because I am headed to Indiana tomorrow at 6am. Will be apart of Matilda Jane Land all weekend long (Thank you, Dad, for coming down and saving my butt with the kids ... there is lots of yummy food for you in the fridge and pantry. I wish you luck.)

4. Crazy about Snooze. Favorite breakfast place on earth. This is what yesterday's witty post was all about.

Claire's strawberry shortcake (made with english muffins) french toast. omg. omg. omg.

5. Packing for a girlie weekend involves a lot of dresses, shoes, and a swimming suit or two. And more luggage than I am allowed to take. Camera ... laptop ... chargers ... curling iron ... being a girl COMES with baggage, people.

6. Meeting up with a long lost High School friend that I would totally link you to ... but she does not blog. Maybe I can talk her into it.

And I am off.

Blogging from Indiana tomorrow.

XOXO.

Tomorrow.

Took 30 minutes to upload new pics with a witty story to go along with it. And then google just ate it. Too lazy to recreate my blogging masterpiece, I leave you with one simple picture and a promise to do better tomorrow.

 

Thumbs Up.

 

For the LIVESTRONG Event on Father's Day.

 

We are so proud of you guys!

 

 

Sneak Peek | Family and Children's Photographer | Colorado | In the Moment Photography by Valerie Koop

A sneak peek because ...

Because, when you are the family, waiting to see is hard!

Because this family gave me permission to share with you all ...

Because these three were so much fun to talk to.

Because I bribed them with candy the entire time.

Because I learned the boys' nicknames.

Because, seriously, I had so much fun.

Because this family is something special.

Into the Weekend

1. Toy Story 3 in 3D.

2. Swimming Pool.

3. More Motrin (something went horribly wrong with my leg while running.)

4. Photoshoot (beautiful, fun family) tonight.

5. Photoshoot (amazing, romantic, fully Colorado wedding) tomorrow.

6. Father's Day Sunday | LIVESTRONG EVENT

Into the weekend we go ....

Riding Strong for Wayne

Friends and colleagues of Wayne are riding in the 2010 LIVESTRONG Challenge 

in Seattle on Sunday.

Wayne's team is Randy, Ken, Shrikant, Nick, Jamie, Pete, Karsten, and Mackal.

Mackal's FB Page: Click here 

General Information Click here

Jamie and her husband (pictured above) did all the artwork for the signs and t-shirts using one of my favorite images of the kids with Wayne while he was undergoing chemo last fall.

This is a testament to true friendship, support, and encouragement.

There is absolutely no way we could fight this alone.

Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

Wish we could be there to cheer you on in person.

LIVESTRONG.

93 Degrees

Today we've got a 93 degree day ahead of us.

1. Swimming ... our pool is amazing. So grateful it is just down the street.

2. Mow the lawn ...

3. Blow Bubbles at the park and try and get some pictures ...

4. Make something yummy for dinner (on the grill) ... and maybe fruit pizza for dessert? I make mine in a tart pan so the edges are all pretty. Ever tried that?

5. Wayne is home. He's starting to come around, and in fact, yesterday was the first day he had his appetite back. 

Raspberry lemonade - to the next level. It's all about the details. ;)

Mesenchymal Chondrosarcoma | Update on Wayne

Just got off the phone with Wayne. According to Dr. Patel, there has been no growth in Wayne's tumors (located in lungs and hip).

There has also been no shrinkage. If his tumors do not respond after two more cycles, Dr. Patel wants to try something else.

Wayne's official weight loss was 15 pounds from last week.

He is headed home today and is on break until Monday.

Monday starts another two week cycle and he was told to just hang in there with the lack of appetite and stomach problems. It is expected he will have significant weight loss and they were not concerned at all.

So ...

Two more cycles.

Sunshine Food

After three days of nothing but dark skies and rain, the sun started to peek out from behind the clouds this afternoon.

Sunshine = summer food. Here is what I am making this week:

French Potato Salad (no mayo) and it is seriously the yummiest recipe ever.

BLTs (thick cut bacon, arugula instead of lettuce, and cherry tomatoes until my plants start to produce)

Grilled Chicken Club Sandwiches (grilled lemon chicken, avacados, lettuce, tomatoes on wheat)

Strawberry and Spinach Salad with toasted almonds (no real recipe)

Raspberry Lemonade (purchased)

I have two kids who told me they are DONE with frozen waffles. 

Yes, I am that Mom ... until they revolt.

Wayne is in testing today and will have results tomorrow ... around late morning.

The kids are running around like little lunatics while I blog, Claire chasing after Caeden saying, "Hug me! Hug me!"

Affection is a very good thing.

Weekend Update

Wayne needed assistance getting to Houston. He hasn't eaten anything of substance in over a week, and has lost at least 10 pounds ... probably more. Worried that he would not be able to carry his luggage, walk through the airport, or get himself food once he was in his hotel, I asked his best friend Randy to go with him.

And Randy said yes instantly.
And his wife Kaycee was amazing and supportive
and sent him off with a smile ...
(Kaycee JUST moved to Denver a week ago with the 4 kids - she has a TON on her plate.)

And when Wayne woke up and I told him what I did, he got mad. Really mad.

So is the cycle. Him not knowing what is best... What his limitations are.
Me second-guessing my decisions when he gets upset.

Trying to be more empathic and understanding to him while also growing a THICKER skin. Easier said than done.

So those of you who think we are some sort of power couple and tackling Cancer without issue, please know we are just human and doing the best we can.
Wayne has bad days. I have bad days.
Sometimes he feels bitter. I feel guilt. We both feel joy. 
I am not some sort of cheerleader or super wife.
He is not always strong.
We are just human. 


And I want to share that side of things with you.
The real side of battling cancer.
And ... it's another reason I took comments off.
I don't think I could stand to share some of this if I had to worry
what people would say.

So read at your own risk, okay?

Now Wayne is gone. Flying to Houston as I type this (with Randy, thank goodness). And he texted me twice, which is more communication than we have had in days, which means two things:
he is feeling better and he is glad Randy is with him.

This morning I took the kids to church and then to McDonalds for lunch. Claire kept saying, "Church! Church," like I was FINALLY taking her somewhere she has been wanting to go (that picture is her all cute this morning). 

And Caeden. Oh Caeden. He said, "Now Mom, I am thinking this kindergarten isn't for me. I want Gold Rush." And I explained Church and School were different ... he knows this, right? He didn't. So, we will be going every Sunday. What a wake up call.

And here I am this morning via brilliant budding photographer Claire. I let her use the phone for brief moments while I get ready because it's the only thing that allows me to handle a hot curling iron without fear she will grab for it. Anyway, she loves to take pictures. 

Just like her Mama. Love that.

So.

We are now waiting for news from Houston. 

We'll know something on Tuesday.

Listening to these songs quite a bit lately:


Stuck in  a Moment by U2

Why Georgia by John Mayer