Day 1 of Cycle 6

Wayne is at Skyridge Hospital this morning. Chemo day 1.

He felt so good this weekend and it was hard to take him there this morning, knowing he's done feeling good for at least 2 weeks. It just sucks.

Dave will be here tonight. I am so thankful he is coming. Even if Wayne doesn't have toxicity and is feeling better than last time, it is wonderful for him to have company during his treatment. He's there all day, and they don't allow children, so ... that means he's alone unless his parents come.

I'll keep you posted on his progress. We just hope his experience is not like last time (which I didn't really talk about, I know, but it was really bad). Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Tragic Accident

The Havens' are our dear friends from Overland Park. We were next door neighbors, vacation buddies, BBQ buddies -- you name it. We love them dearly.

Our hearts go out to them because they lost their best friend yesterday in an accident coming home from Snowmass (Aspen).

The article can be read here: Tom Murphy and Family

The Havens' and the Murphy's were vacationing together in Snowmass. The Havens' left before them, because they wanted to stop and see us. The Murphy's left yesterday, and while Tom was driving, a boulder the size of a suitcase smashed through the windshield - hitting Tom.

His wife Jennifer is a hero. She shifted the SUV into neutral and steered the vehicle to a stop. Jennifer and her 3 boys were not serisouly injured, but Tom died in the hospital shortly after.

We are saddened beyond belief for the Murphy family and for the Havens', who have lost such a close friend. Tom was like a brother to John - we cannot believe this happened and are in shock.

Please keep these families in your prayers. Jennifer and her boys are going to need all the strength they can get. Such a horrible tragedy. I do not have the words for our heavy hearts.

Into the weekend

How could I not love to cook in such a cheerful space?

Wayne is feeling fantastic. Eating, joking, taking Caeden to school, being wonderful. Really wonderful. He even got our taxes done today! I remember when he had his open heart surgery, right around the tax deadline, and I was just paralyzed on what to do. File an extension -- who knew??? I plan on delaying everything I find unpleasant or daunting. It works really well!

Chemo starts on Monday and extends to Friday. We are hoping neurotoxicity is kept at bay. Please keep Wayne in your thoughts this week. I think I have said this before, but while NO chemo cocktail is pleasant or easy, Wayne's is especially harsh. We are hoping for him to be able to get through all 5 days (which is round 6).

Caeden's first week of school is complete. He loves it. He is not napping on school days. This I do not love.

Claire is having fun scaling the stairs. Still no teeth.

I have 2 shoots this weekend and a house that still needs some serious attention.

And yes, the picture has absolutely nothing to do with this post. Just a little eye candy (well, my kind of eye candy, anyway).

First Day of Pre K.

(Politely overlook that this all took place on Monday.)

Not really nervous.
Liked wearing his backpack.
Was cool as a cucumber until he saw his friend Tyler, and had to run over and give him a big hug.
Brought a 'crush cup' of yogurt for his snack.
Didn't look back as he entered his new classroom to play with the kitchen set.

Wayne and I did not cry like we did last year, but man, I missed him so much that day. I am still not ready for him to be in school - I loved our summer days since I've been home again.

However.

Considering he wants nothing to do with the alphabet, counting, or anything remotely academic when I am around, school time is probably a good thing.

The Kitchen

It's where we spend most of our day. Cooking (well, using the toaster at the very least), cleaning up, folding laundry on the island ...

Today I used it to rinse green beans straight from Mom and Dad's garden. Then I used the peeler to peel the best cucumber I have ever eaten. Crisp and sweet. Also from the garden.

These little things are big things to me because I didn't know where my cutting board, peeler, or good knives were for ages. I can even bake again with measuring utensils. Oh, I know, living on the wild side.

But back to the kitchen.



Besides laundry & food related items, it also now serves as a bathing area. Funny thing is, we are looking at the possibility of finishing our basement for an extra bedroom, bathroom, and family area. We'd love to have Mom and Dad be more comfortable when they come to visit.

If all goes to plan, and we have a family room downstairs with toys, a TV, and everything else ... our poor kitchen will be awfully lonely. But, at least it will have the toaster.

Taking Flight

Wayne is in Houston today. I am home with the kids. Dreaming of having boxes unpacked, the floor mopped, and laundry done.

What we (meaning Caeden) did instead: Jumped on the bed (which I NEVER allow), had eggs for lunch, and is skipping his nap in favor of playing outside.

It makes it easier not to think about chemo next week when there is so much laughing and rule breaking going on.

Here's to better days, Caeden style.

Weekend Update

Mom & Dad got to town Friday night ... hauling a trailer full of our stuff. Two grills, more clothes, Caeden's sandbox ... & tons more.

So we unloaded more boxes. And my house is again full of boxes calling my name.

...But I am pretty good at ignoring them.

Saturday was spent re-arranging the garage, rearranging furniture, hanging shelves, pictures, and my glorious pot rack in the kitchen.

Wayne grilled green chili cheeseburgers ... and everything was going great.

Until.

I backed the truck out of the driveway and smacked our neighbors' car that was parked on the street. I cried most of the night until our neighbor Jody brought over a huge pitcher of margaritas. I drank too many too fast. I quit crying and remember laughing about a "Boobs" joke that Dave made. Except it wasn't a joke, which made it even funnier.

Bless that sweet Jody. She knows just what a girl needs.

I got up at 4 am Sunday morning and began working on {in the moment} photography stuff. My goal was to finish up all my client forms. Really what I was doing was killing time until Paula got to town.

My dear friend Paula and I go back to our high school days. And a bit of college before we both moved on from BHSU. She hasn't changed a bit. Still as beautiful on the inside and out than ever. Love her.

Didn't take a single picture as I was too busy having a car accident, drinking margaritas, unpacking boxes, and catching up with a dear friend.

Wayne is on his way to Houston later tonight for more scans and a meeting with his Oncologist.

Caeden starts school today - most of his class from last year are still there together and I know he's going to love his teachers. One of them is from somewhere like Ireland ... I could listen to her talk all day. I hope he can, too.

Into the Weekend

Sorry for the blog delay. I had a virus on my Mac that google picked up; blocked me from getting online. Anyway, all better.

Vacation -- we are having so much fun researching all of the options that were left in our comment section yesterday. Thank you! We have narrowed it down to:

1. Hawaii
2. Bahamas

The Bahamas have cheap flights (gotta love Frontier) and ocean front homes (important to be RIGHT on the water so that napping children can sleep while we are still on the beach and not locked up in a condo or hotel room).

Hawaii has so much ... like Dan said, tons to do and see. And Caeden is really into volcanos right now, so it would be a blast for him.

Thank you again for all the suggestions!

In other news ... Wayne is feeling better each and every day. He is so excited about going somewhere special and is back to his normal self (energy wise).

Caeden met his new teachers today. He brought them pretty flower sugar cookies from our local bakery and got to see his new classroom.

Claire still has no teeth! Little sweetie is 14 months old and is going to walk before a tooth appears.

I am working like mad on my business. Client forms, marketing efforts, ordering samples, finding a custom framing company ... I am busy and loving it.

Have a wonderful weekend.

A Break.

It sounds like Wayne gets a break after his next round of chemo (next round starts August 17).
A break means, they will leave him be for 2 months. At the 2 month mark, they will re-scan him to see if the tumors have broken through. If there has been no growth, they will give him 2 more months of a break, and re-scan again. This will go on for as long as the tumors do not grow. Once they do, he will start a different protocol. We don't know what it will be, but we do know the harshest is behind us ... just one more round to go.

So, with a "break" hanging over us, we have begun to dream of a vacation. We talk about the ocean - taking the kids and building sand castles ... drinking too many mojitos, playing in the water, and celebrating the fact that he will be able to do these things.

The last time we have taken a vacation was when Caeden was 1 1/2. We went to the Keys with the Havens' (that's the picture above). We were eating breakfast at this great eatery that had chickens running all over the place. Oh, we had fun! But it has been almost 3 years and I tell you this, I will whisk Wayne away this fall, no matter what.

(Wait. We went to Napa with Nik and John awhile back. But the story sounds more dramatic when I leave it out.)

Did you know we are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary September 24th? Which just happens to be over his break. Beautiful, beautiful timing.

So, back with where to go. I was hoping you guys would have some good ideas. We've been to the Caribbean on a cruise, but never stayed anywhere too long. But it's prime hurricane season.

We've been to Hawaii and loved it, but worry the flight would be too long for the kids.

Any ideas?? Do not shy away. I am SERIOUS about getting something booked.

Reminders.

Claire & Caeden are the reason we keep putting one foot in front of the other. They are our everything.

Claire says "Daddy" all day long. She looks for him when she enters a room, and her body shakes with excitement when she sees him. She still puts her arms out for him to pick her up, although it isn't very often when he can.

Last night the weather was beautiful and all the kids were outside playing. Caeden was digging for a lost treasure in the empty field by our house, and Claire was trying to keep up with her friend Ella, who is walking.

The sun was warm and it felt good to be outside. And then ...

I turned around to see Wayne on the front porch. He was sitting in a chair, with his pajama pants on and a favorite t-shirt that is now 4 sizes too big. He was watching everyone play, but not able to take part. It is hard to get used to. I hate it. He hates it. And I know he thinks about it a lot more than we talk about it.

This morning he goes into the hospital for another blood transfusion. It makes him feel a lot better, and hopefully the rawness in his mouth will go away so he can eat.

Just one of these hardships would be enough to send anyone into a stupor, but it's the kids that always keep him going. Keep me going.

Having a baby say your name all day long is a sweet reminder to stay strong.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Weekend Update

Swimming pool.

Splashing and laughing and, "Mommy! Look at me!"

Farmer's Market.

Fresh tomatoes, cucumbers still wearing their dirt, peaches straight from the other side of the mountains. Colorado peaches are divine. Claire had one for breakfast and the juice drip, drip, dripped down her arms.

Dinner at Mom & Ken's house.

Fried chicken, coleslaw, mashed potatoes and gravy, & homemade ice cream with chocolate cake.

Enjoying summer. Enjoying every single bit.

Announcing { In the Moment }

Let me introduce my photography business properly...

{In the Moment Photography } (click on name) is officially launched!

I am beyond excited and look forward to updating the gallery as I go. I hope you enjoy looking around as much as I did putting it together.

Val

site address: www.beinthemoment.net

Preview for { C & M }

5 Years together. Paris. A child.
Dreams of mountains. Another child.
Blissful times. Hard times. Prayer.
A no-matter-what kind of love.
Promises all over again.
{ C & M }

Chit Chat

You know how I love a good find. So the other day when we returned from Houston, we came home to a house full of nothing. Every single thing was packed in a box. They were all towered in the garage and in the basement. Really, my house had never looked better.

But I am a minimalist that way.

But still, we had no food. No soap. No nothing.

Or so I thought. Low and behold, my dear friend Jody brought over food for us and it was waiting in the fridge.

And my Mom. My mom had little surprises all over the house for us. Food, drinks, toilet paper, fresh towels in the bathrooms ... and this amazing shower wash. It smells like almonds and is the softest concoction I've ever put on my skin. It's amazing. You need some. You know you do!

And here is the brownie mix I have been grazing on for 2 days. I am sort of a baking snob. I love homemade and shun box mixes. I blame Food Network.

Anyhoo, someone made these eons ago and I had to have the recipe. I was surprised that the recipe is just this lil' box of goodness. Oh, and they are good. These brownies are fudgey and moist and have that perfect crackly top. Are you hungry yet?


In other news, we got another offer on our house. What is with all these people trying to buy our house?! Don't they see all the other houses in our neighborhood for sale? I wish they would take their low ball offers and go bother someone else. Seriously. The offers are just insulting. Or maybe we are just partial to not wanting to lose absolutely everything we've put into our house. It could be that, too.

Regardless, people love our house. They just don't want to pay for it. What are ya gunna do, right? Well, we turned it down (again). Our Realtor has got to be calling us names behind our back. I mean, if I was him, I would. But in any case, until the housing market recovers, selling is not a good idea.

(Don't you just love my gift at stating the obvious?)

Update

Wayne was discharged from the hospital yesterday evening. He has to go back each day to get antibiotics intravenously until his count returns to normal.

I haven't mentioned our change of plans, yet. We are back in Denver. Unpacking (which makes me very crabby!) all the boxes ... of the entire house that I just packed up ...

Wayne's meeting with Dr. Patel was eye-opening. Wayne will remain on Ifosfamide, even after his chemo cocktail changes, because it is the best drug to fight his sarcoma. It is also the same drug that cannot be administered in Rapid City. The back and forth travel from Rapid to Houston has worn Wayne out. It doesn't make any sense for Wayne's sake, or our budget, to stay in Houston when we have a home in Denver that is just down the street from a hospital that can care for Wayne.

So, to recap, he will continue to go to Houston for scans and consults with Dr. Patel, but all treatment will be done here in Denver.

All of this change and stress has me eating lots of brownies. Wayne doesn't eat much and is down 70 pounds. He obviously is leaving the brownie eating to me. Thanks, babe.

Off to unpack. And eat more brownies.

Fever

Just as I thought it was safe to say Wayne was out of the woods, he got a fever last night. He doesn't have any white blood cells, so a fever is a big deal.

We went to the ER last night and they admitted him. They want to keep him for 48 hours until they can identify the cause of his fever.

This, of course, did not sit well with Wayne. He is so tired of hospitals that he gets impatient and a bit grouchy when he realizes that he wasn't going anywhere.

But he does have a flat screen tv to keep him occupied.

I remember talking to a friend when Wayne was first diagnosed. Her husband also has cancer, and she told me that soon enough we would understand that our "new normal" would be drastically different from here on out. Those words are finally sinking in, unfortunately.

Got to take Wayne his laptop this morning, as he has work to do - and his pillow and some new clothes. Hopefully he can come home tomorrow night, but until then, it's hospital food and vital checks to the point of total annoyance. Poor Guy!

But you know, the fact that he is able to complain lets me know he is already starting to feel better...

In and Out of the Dark

We are just going to skip past last week, okay? We don't want to talk about it. But, before you get worried, please know he is doing MUCH better now.

Much.

And we will just leave it at that.

Day 1 Down

Wayne had his blood transfusion and first day of chemo yesterday. We arrived at MDA at 9 am, fought hard for a parking spot, and left at 7 pm. Our car was about the last one in that previous over-packed garage.

The hospital room was nothing like PSL (first hospital in Denver for his chemo). Here he has a large, private room. Extremely clean (sad that I have to say this, but man, we've seen a lot over the past 4 months) and bright. Wonderful nurse named Mou (Moooo) who treated Wayne amazingly well.

Wayne perked up after the transfusion. He felt a TON better and started talking to me and watched a little t.v. Then he slept the day away.

The drip, drip, drip of the chemo being pushed into Wayne is a sound I will never, ever be able to get out of my head.

His sweet bald head was beading with perspiration all day as he lay snuggled under the pre-warmed blankets. Getting him warm is a victory.

This morning I went downstairs to the hotel lobby to get him breakfast. There was a group of high school boys, traveling for some sport or another, and I stuck out like a sore thumb with my Kansas sweatshirt on. I took Wayne oatmeal and came back down to get myself some, and I hear this:

"Dang. She was just here."
And then his friend says:
"I'll tell you one thing, Kansas girls sure can eat!"

So today is starting off good. Wayne has chemo at 1:00 today, it's hot outside, and I really want another cup of coffee but am afraid of running into the food police downstairs.

Wayne says hello!

More later...

Wayne's Appointment w/ Dr. Patel

We got good news today. Wayne's tumors are stable and slightly improving (shrinking). He's responding to the chemo!

He still has not recovered from his last round of chemo and now we know why - his hemoglobin is still very, very low and will have a blood transfusion tomorrow morning WHILE having chemo. It sounds insane, but we are assured it is standard protocol.

Going forward - he will have round #5 of chemo starting tomorrow and lasting through Wednesday morning.

In 3 weeks, he'll do another round and he'll be scanned again (CT, MRI, XRay) to measure the tumors. If his body can take it, they will press on and do up to 8 (so, 3 more MAX). His chemo is hard on his heart and so they will back off if they need to, but will test his body to it's limits to shrink the tumors as much as possible.

At that point, Wayne will get a break for a couple of months to let his body heal and recuperate. After that, more chemo, but probably a different cocktail.

It will be a long road, but the good news is that Wayne is in the BEST hands possible.

Live Strong - This One is for Dan & Michelle

As we sit here waiting for Wayne's CT scan, he gets an email from his friend Dan with the above picture.

Dan describes a program that Lance Armstrong's foundation put together: They have a Robot that writes messages from cancer patients & survivors. The robot puts the messages on the pavement for the bicyclists to read as they ride over each stage.

It is quite possibly the coolest thing I have ever seen...what a gift.

Dan and his wife Michelle sponsored our message, and here we sit, waiting for the scan, fighting back the tears *that are coming anyway* dang good thing I was too lazy to put on mascara this morning.

What an overwhelmingly amazing surprise. Thank you so very much!

And to all of you out there who are patients, survivors, friends & family: Here is the link. There is a neat video that shows you how the Chalk Bot works and how many messages they plan to paint. Just awesome!

Live Strong Chalk Messages

Can I just say it again? We have the most amazing friends and family. The encouragement and support keeps us going. You just have no idea how important you are to us. We love you all so very much. So very much.