Real Life.

We've been hunkered down since Claire's arrival. You know how newborns have a way of setting the pace and the schedule for everyone else. "Caeden, we have to wait to play outside until after I feed Claire..." and on schedules: 8 pm bedtime is my version of Heaven.

Well, the other day, I decided enough was enough. I needed some stuff at Nordstroms (funny how you run out of everything at once) and thought we could all benefit from getting out a little bit. Caeden was totally agreeable and even Wayne was excited about doing a bit of shopping. Things were looking up ... until we got there.

I have a peanut shell (sling) that Claire loves to be in, so I tried putting her in it a little too quickly ... her head was stuck and her legs were dangling out. Okay, not right. Let's try this again. Out she comes, in she goes ... this time the wrong way and I am afraid she can't breathe! By this time, I am sweating bullets, she is crying and probably thinking, "what is this crazy woman trying to do to me?!"

I don't have my diaper bag (remember, I walked in feeling super confident that she wouldn't need a thing if she was all snuggled into the sling) so I have no blanket to lay down on the bench while I put her down trying to untangle myself from this $#@! sling. Everyone is staring at me and Claire and I am now totally flustered and not even sure if I am breathing. I kind of remember everything going dark - like tunnel vision.

Wayne and Caeden walk over from the line they were standing in to get a muffin (poor Caeden was so excited to have a muffin - all the boy wanted to do was have a snack) -- and Wayne asked me if everything (meaning ME) was okay?

No.

I just started walking out of the store. Poor Wayne grabbed my purse and Caeden and followed me out. He kept trying to make me feel better - to calm me down - but by the time we reached the SUV, I was crying.

I cried all the way home.

Why? I guess I just don't have a thick skin right now, and when things go wrong, I just fall apart. I thought my hormones were stable by now, and maybe they are, but I am not getting any sleep and I guess I am not doing too well.

The next day Claire never cried - she slept a ton - (compared to the previous day when she didn't feel good and cried all day and all night) - and we went out for dinner without any problems. We hung out outside and enjoyed the cool evening like a normal family and it felt great. I just need to remember not all days are hard.

Not all days are hard!

Sometimes blog entries aren't witty or fun. Sometimes they are gritter than that...please forgive my real life entry - I need to document it so I can look back and laugh when things are rolling smoother.

Until then, I am officially an online shopper. :)

Today

Is such a good day. Caeden is playing in the dirt ... Claire is starting to coo...
Wayne is home ...

It really doesn't take much to make me happy. ;)

Meet Claire Party

No party is complete without a cake...
Here's Dave and Donna (Wayne's parents)

Daddy and Claire

Grandma and Claire



It was so sweet to celebrate our baby with everyone in SD. She was 5 weeks old in these pictures.

Home Sweet Home

Made it home in one piece. The road trip was a piece of cake - not a speck of drama over movie watching, no lost flip flops ... nada. Just a lot of junk food (when was the last time you had Nibs??) and talking.

Our visit was awesome. Wayne had a surprise birthday party and Claire had a "Meet the Baby" party. So fun to see everyone! Donna (Wayne's mom) and Bev (his aunt) made a lot of yummy food and there was plenty of beer to go around. Perfect party!

Caeden was in Heaven. He has a belly laugh that only comes out when he is with his grandpa and grandma. It's this infectious laugh that stops you in your tracks - and I always think, "how come I can't make him laugh like that?!" -- Probably because I am too busy sending him to the corner for all the things that grandpa and grandma think are so cute and funny. Oh well, that's what they are for right?

One of the nights we went to some friends' house for a BBQ. It was an incredible feeling to be outside visiting with everyone that we seldom get a chance to see. Yet, conversation came so easily and the feeling of being surrounded by friends is a comfort we really miss.

On other news ... does anyone else out there love pear tomatoes the way I do? I have three plants thriving outside. I see green lil' pear tomatoes all over the place and can't wait to make a tomato and mozzarella salad. Ripen up already, please.

I have also hit the 6 week postpartum mark. I have made running a half marathon my goal for this fall. I was all set to start running again but Wayne is traveling a lot again. I wish so much he could be home at night. I miss how much smoother the evenings go when there is two of us to handle the craziness of children, dinner & clean up. I am so wiped at night I crawl into bed and am asleep in 10 seconds flat. How are all you moms working out??? I want him to stay home. I need him. My flabby stomach needs him home so I can go run. Come home, Wayne.

More tomorrow ...

The Reality of the Road Trip

Grandpa and Grandma Koop are going to have their hands full when we invade next week. We're making the drive (7 hours give or take) for Wayne's birthday and the 4th of July. We've already started making a list of things to pack (foggy brains don't do well without lists ... well, who I am kidding, I don't do well without a list EVER). It will be quite the challenge to fit everything into our SUV. I think both Wayne and I have quitely pondered if we made the right decision when we traded in our (very short lived) Honda Odyssey Minivan last year. We could really use the space - and it got great gas mileage. Of course, neither one of us will ever admit to wishing we had it back, but just between you and me, I think Wayne misses it more! ;)

I'm thinking of all the times I'll be hurdling my body into the backseat between the two carseats in an attempt to soothe Claire, find Caeden's (toy, blanket, Cheez its) -- you fill in the blank. This will usually entail losing at least one of my flip flops (probably wedged between the passenger seat and the console), breaking out into a sweat (remember that newborn cry?), uttering some sort of back-handed comment to Wayne about how this was a bad idea and utter,"How come I can't drive?," and finally, debate with Caeden about wanting to pick out the next movie we watch.

Mommy can't take Bob the Builder for one more second...

But then, we'll get there and it will be awesome. We'll have amnesia about the trip and make it all over again in about eight weeks.

Just remind me not to re-read this after my amnesia kicks in, yes?

Wall E

As I type this, Caeden is at his first movie. Wayne took him to the earliest show on opening day. I know they got popcorn, candy and probably a slush. Wayne talked about his seating strategy (first row of stadium seating) to ensure Caeden would be able to see...

Caeden has been talking about going to the theatre all week long. I know how much Wayne was looking forward to taking him, too. But, I admit, I am so sad that I am not there, too. I really can't think of a "first" that I haven't been there for with Caeden. I guess I need to get used to it as "Father and Son" stuff becomes more and more common. I just can't wait to hear all about it. Wayne, not one for details, will have to recount Caeden's reactions to me in excruciating detail.

While they've been gone what have I done? Claire and I went for a walk in her new *kick butt* stroller:Here I thought I was getting into shape until I got home and turned on "The View" and learned that Elizabeth lost her baby weight by working out TWO HOURS a day with a trainer. There are a few choice words that I would like to use right now to describe that woman. However, I will try to keep it clean and use %^$#!. Please feel free to fill in the blank. And, yes, I know I am not making sense by hating a woman I should probably look to as fitness inspiration, but I figure as long as I'm not sleeping through the night, I am entitled to be catty and shallow.

Randomness

Here's Caeden ... talking on the phone to Grandpa and counting sprinklers at the same time. When did he get so big? I know right around the corner he'll be holed up in his room, talking on the phone and not wanting to come out. I am not sure I like the idea of them growing up...

I was just holding Claire and I started thinking about how someday she'll be a mother and a grandmother ... and how I can only hope to be around to see those things. My heart just squeezes so tight inside of my chest when I think about things like that. All I really know is they are my reason -- my purpose, and I will hold onto every little moment because I know they are already going by fast.

"Carnival"

Parker Days is a big deal in Parker. It's a small town-style, old-school carnival that smells like funnel cakes and looks like 1) Fun - remembering your youth 2) Scary as heck death trap [as a parent]

Anyway, I had romantic notions about taking Caeden in the evening when the rides were lit up with lights. I thought Wayne could win me a big stuffed bear and Caeden would ride all the kiddy rides while laughing and having a grand ol' time.

The reality is we went during the day (high noon on concrete -- a bit warm). Claire's stroller didn't have adequate shade and so she and I stood in the shade of a lone stick tree while Caeden and Wayne walked around. I didn't smell funnel cakes, but I did get a whiff of the ponies walking around in a circle (with kids riding them - either scared to death, or whipping them to go faster -- poor, stinky ponies).

Caeden's favorite part? The park next door to the rides. He thought the yellow curly slide was the greatest thing ever. Good thing we didn't spring for the $25 "all you can ride" bands. I wonder if he'll be so easily entertained next year?

Couldn't Have Said It Better

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite bloggers (see Bits & Pieces on side board).

Very concerned about super tight, way too low rise, Long and Lean Gap jeans and the ass crack clearance area where my shirt meets jeans.

This type of jean isn't technically low rise either. The problem that we're dealing with is my round, basketball like booty, which lowers the waist of the jeans exponentially.

All I need is one season of Survivor. That'd bring the booty factor down considerably.

Seriously, I should have started out my "Sweatin It" post with something like this. MUCH more entertaining!!

On Credit Card Debt

Shabby Chic.

I have tried to get over it. Tried to go with newer styles, but I just can't help it. THIS is my style. Soft, pretty, comfortable. The unfortunate part is expensive.

Since Shabby Chic can now be found at Target (some cute stuff but the quality isn't the same as what you'll find in the boutique) and that does take away some of the allure. But mostly what has kept me away is the fact there is no store in Denver. I have to go to Chicago, NYC, or Atlanta to indulge (although I had total, saint-like restraint in Atlanta). But now ... online shopping ... sigh.

I think I'm in trouble.

Sweating It

Is there any other way to start a new workout routine than with new clothes? I don't know about anyone else out there, but nothing gets me more motivated than coordinating workout outfits. I can always pick out other women like me on the trails. New to working out? Getting back on the horse? You will look fantastic in your new pink shorts and tee (just don't look at my legs!).

The better in shape I get, the less I care what I am wearing. When I am hard core and running daily, I'll throw on whatever is clean (even sort of clean) and go. Usually, a baggy cotton tee and running shorts (that have long since lost it's "coordinating" tee).

Yesterday I decided to start getting serious about losing my baby weight (3 weeks postpartum and only 10 pounds have come off - are you kidding me?!) and dove into my closet for something to wear. Surprise, surprise, nothing fit. Off to the Sports Authority for some new stuff. Yep, it all matches ... but I can't wait to wear all my stuff that doesn't!!

3 Weeks

Today is Claire's official due date. It's crazy to think she's been here 3 weeks. She's laying on the sofa, sleeping like a champ, getting ready to be awake all night tonight (only half kidding).

I feel so incredibly blessed to have her - and sooo glad Wayne is on infant care leave. He has been incredible with Caeden. I wonder if I could hire him to be my Manny?!

Too tired to come up with anything clever. I'll be back...stronger and wittier tomorrow.

Their Dad.

The kids are still a bit too small to understand the significance of Father's Day. Although Caeden shows Wayne in a million ways how much he loves and adores him...

When he wakes up in the morning, Caeden says, "I sure missed you, Dad."
When he grins from ear to ear when Wayne says, "Let's go outside and play, Buddy!"
When he gives Wayne a huge hug ... just because.
When he goes down to the basement to see Wayne ... "to check on [dad] him."
When he runs to him to fix anything -- a toy, a movie, his bubble machine.

I hope Wayne knows just how much his being a good father means to me, too. There are another million ways he shows the kids (and me) just how much he loves them...

Counting down the days until he can take Caeden to his first movie (Wall.E). Caeden doesn't even know this movie is coming, or what a movie theatre is, but Wayne knows it will probably be a HUGE highlight for Caeden, and has already mentioned we need to be on the look out for all the toys that go along with the movie.

He holds Claire every chance he has, and often tells me "no" when I go to get her from him. He talks to her with such a gentleness in his voice and the way he looks at her melts me every time.

And Wayne pays attention to everything. There is hardly a time when I mention something about the kids that he doesn't say, "Yes, I noticed that too," or "I was going to talk to you about that..." Wayne is present. I can't think of a greater expression of love than that.

So, here you are, Dad. A father of two and doing it quite well. We love you so much!

Happy Father's Day.

Where She Sleeps (well ... someday)

I painted the walls with SIX different colors of green before settling on the perfect one. I ordered custom bedding from a place that I have dreamed of ordering (but never will) for my own bed, I hand painted each polka dot, fretting that they weren't perfect ...

The irony? Claire sleeps in my room in a bassinet that has her clothes shoved underneath. I think she's physically been in her room twice. Yes, irony.

First Bath

I remember the first bath I gave Caeden. I was so nervous and unsure of how to handle such a slippery baby. Caeden picked up on my unease and voiced his displeasure at (what we both knew was) amateur hour, which just made me break out into a sweat.

This time around was much different. Claire just stared at me while I lathered her up and she even smiled when I washed her hair.

I have heard your first born takes the brunt of most everything - the fumbles, the first-firsts, the well-meaning but probably overly attentiveness (picture me hovering over Caeden's crib at all hours to make sure he was still breathing ... every 3 minutes - give or take). But, it's Caeden who will always come to mind when I think of how much easier it is with Claire. Because really it's not easier, just familiar. Thanks Caeden!

(Color photo: Caeden; B&W photo: Claire)

On Clean Living

I remember Oxiclean infomercials years ago ... late at night. It really turned me off from trying it once it hit the store shelves. I thought it was all hype. Then, a girlfriend told me that she keeps the sink in her laundry room full of water and Oxiclean. She soaks whatever needs it throughout the day, and then does a load of laundry at night.

My laundry intake has increased dramatically since Claire came home, and so have the stains. I thought I would try Oxiclean (skeptically, of course) since none of my other stain-stuff (technical term) worked that great.

Let me just say, I now have a sink full of the stuff daily. It has taken out grass stains, red popsicle stains, blood, etc. Love it! Now if only they came out with upholstery cleaner...

Next favorite cleaning product: Method bathroom wipes (found at Target). They smell like mint (reminds me of a spa) and are flushable. Very handy with a potty trained (still working on the aim) three year old.

My last favorite thing is a grouping of "Pure Grass" scented stuff from the Good Home Co... Sheet spray, carpet spray, laundry detergent, etc. It makes the house smell like summer all year!

Last, but not least - My very favorite cleaning catagory: Megan! My new cleaning lady. I love her!!! I can't remember the last time my floors actually squeaked - Love that!

Not THAT Great ...

Caeden has a thing for rockets. Loves the idea of flying to the moon one of these days. So, imagine my smugness when I came across these Popsicles at the grocery store. Caeden was going to love them!

Fast forward a couple of hours, and Caeden is sitting at the table eating a melted, dripping, VERY RED popsicle. He was happy ... I was less so. What a mess!

Then I remembered a secret tip from some old Martha magazine. Put a coffee filter on the stick to catch the drip. Brilliant! This was great!
So, I am talking to Caeden, telling him what a GREAT idea this was, and how it was going to save his shirts from stains. Super Mom I am!

Then, as I am walking away, he turns to his dad and says, "It's not THAT great, dad."

Bubble Enthusiast

Who would have guessed that a jar of bubbles would entertain Caeden the way it does? He can run for hours, chasing bubbles and popping them. I'd give anything for his energy level!
And, for you fellow parents of bubble enthusiasts, have you tried Gazillion Bubbles at Target? Get the BLUE bottle, it has a wand that creates HUGE bubbles. As you can see from this photo, I thought I would be wild and crazy and buy green, just to shake things up, and lost all credibility when the wand was sub-par. So, learn from me. Get the blue bottle - they really rock.

{ Claire Estelle }

Claire arrived Tuesday, May 27th at 8:39 pm. 5 tiny pounds 4 ounces. 18 inches long. Absolutely Perfect.

She came a bit early at 37 weeks 0 days. Her pediatrician calls her "tiny by mighty." I'd have to agree. She's such an angel and has already added so much to our family. Caeden adores her and
"pets" her all the time. ;)

For the interested, here's a run down of how Claire came into this world at 37 weeks 0 days...
It's for her baby book, so please settle in for the nitty gritty.

My pregnancy was classified as high risk at 32 weeks because an ultrasound showed her growth as behind (2 to 3 weeks) and my fluid as low. I was monitored twice a week, and then at the end every day, for Claire's stress level and fluid measurements.

At 36 weeks an amino was done to see if her lungs were mature, because my Doc and his team of specialists wanted to take her early because of her lack of response and my ever-lowering fluid numbers. It was such a horrific day - I never thought the routine testing would show her in distress, nor was I 'ready' to deliver her that day...Who would care for Caeden if Wayne was with me? Plus, I still hadn't washed her clothes or bedding, and there were still many items to purchase in preparation for her arrival...

However, the amino results showed her lungs were not ready. I was put on bedrest and told the plan was to get her to 'bake' -- hopefully to 38 weeks.

That weekend was Memorial Day Weekend. Wayne decided to take Caeden to South Dakota to visit friends and family so that I could rest. I LOVED the idea and immediately started thinking of all the chic flick movies I could watch, ice cream I could eat ... So loved the idea of "resting."

And then, when I was alone, I got horribly sick. You know, REALLY couldn't leave the bathroom. I called my Doctor when I could make it to the phone, and she wanted me to go straight to the hospital. So, I dragged myself there, where I spent the night getting rehydrated (remember the baby's fluid was really low).

The next morning Wayne was on his way home, probably driving way too fast, and my Mom was on her way to SD because my grandmother had passed away in the night. It was such a hard, horrible day.

Tuesday, I went back to the Doctor's office. Claire's heartbeat was dipping again and they were ready to deliver her immediately. Wayne rushed home to organize care for Caeden while I was being admitted into the hospital. I will admit, in this crazy rush, I thought, "thank God I shaved my legs this morning!" I know, I know. Too much information.

I was walked over to Labor and Delivery where I discovered my OBGYN was the on call Doc that night. I love Doctor Lingle and was relieved he would be there to take care of things. When he came into my delivery room, he said he wanted to give me a "Cherry Hills" delivery.
Side note: Cherry Hills is the poshest, most lovely place to live in the Denver area. This all sounded great to me!

Lingle knew I had delivered Caeden in 4 hours start to finish, so he thought this one would go even faster. He told me to get an epideral as soon as I wanted. No huffing and puffing necessary (Which is what he makes his other patients do, according to the nurse. It's pretty great when your Doc likes you! :)

So, he broke my water. I was dilated to a 3 ... and we waited. As my contractions picked up, I thought it was time to call in the troops. Where is my epideral?! This was not good. Certainly women in Cherry Hills would not feel like this...

Got the epi, had a delicious orange popsicle. Thirty minutes later, I was ready to push. Start to finish 6:30 to 8:39. Not to shabby. Seriously, so different than Caeden's delivery (Natural child birth is no fun. I do not recommend it. AT ALL.).

Claire's heartbeat held strong the entire time. She scored 9/9 on the Apgar and was in my arms right after delivery. I was delirious with excitement and overcome with how much love I felt for this little, itty bitty girl.

We stayed in the hospital for two days where I learned that hospital food is still horrible and nothing beats your own pillows. I am so happy to be home and so thankful my prayers were answered - Claire is healthy. Nothing in the world trumps a healthy baby. We are feeling so blessed ... She is eating and sleeping like a champ and only cries when I change her diaper or she's hungry.

Right now I am still living in P.J.'s and am enjoying having Grandpa and Grandma Koop here to help with Caeden. The weather is gorgeous outside and all is right in my world...

Welcome sweet baby Claire.

Baked Oatmeal from Savory Inn (Vail)

This is so good - and perfect for the rainy, cold days we've been having. The best part is that you can throw any fruit/nut combination together and it always turns out yummy.

½ C Vegetable Oil
¾ C Sugar
2 Large Eggs
3 C quick cooking oats (not instant)
2 tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. salt
½ tsp. cinnamon
1 C Milk
1 Apple, peeled, cored, and chopped
1 C Walnuts or Pecans (optional)
1 C Shredded Coconut
1 C dried fruit (I like blueberries, cherries, etc.)

Mix oil, sugar, and eggs and beat until yellow and glossy. Add remaining ingredients except for fruit. Beat until well mixed. Stir in fruit. Pour into greased 8x8 pan” baking dish. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Serve warm in a bowl.

Suggest eating with vanilla yogurt and fresh fruit.