Day 1 of Cycle 7

Wayne is at the hospital this morning - gearing up for Day 1. As we pulled out of the driveway, he said, "By mid-October this (chemo protocol) will be all over with."

We are both wishing we could just fast-forward to that point. There is so much to look forward to. The biggest, of course, is that he will be feeling good for at least a 2 month stretch. Now, it's for a few days. I just can't wait for him to feel like himself for long periods of time. For him to be able to enjoy himself and the kids ... to be able to celebrate the holidays and to be able to think about something other than chemo and hospitals (although you know we will still be thinking about it a lot).

So today, we swung by the donut shop to bring donuts for the patients and staff. Something to say thank you. An act of "I am still OK to eat. I hope you are, too."

Claire is down for her morning nap and Caeden is playing with his train. I am grateful to be here with them, but wishing I was there with him. He is so brave. I know you all know him to be funny and sarcastic and caring. But do you know just how amazingly brave he is? He never complains. He goes into the hospital this morning talking about all the work he needs to get done - conference calls, meetings, and work. He says this for me. I know it's his way of trying to tell me it's just another day for him. I wish that were true, because all I want to do is sit as close as I can to him and talk about fast-forwarding to mid-October. Walks in neighborhood, trick or treating with the kids, decorating the house for the holidays, Christmas shopping and getting together with friends and family. Talking about our 15th anniversary. Talk about how much I love him.

But for now, I watch the clock and wait for him to tell me I can come get him.

I wait.

A New Look

I have been busy proofing client sessions (which I can't wait to share!) and re-doing my blog(s) and website. Wayne asked if I needed some sort of intervention for computer addiction ... and he may be right! It's just that I LOVE what I am doing, and I have so much to do!

My Uncle Tom did an amazing thing yesterday. He donated his kidney to my other Uncle (related by marriage - not blood relatives) who has been in desperate need of a kidney. We are so proud of Uncle Tom and so thankful that Uncle Les is doing great!!

This morning we took the kids to Berry Patch Farm. It's an all organic pick-your-own farm about 45 minutes north of Parker. We had a blast picking raspberries. Raspberries have folate (which help with red blood cell counts) and are a huge anti-carcinogenic fruit. So you can just imagine ... our freezer is STOCKED for the winter.

Well, off to do more proofing ...

Update on Wayne

Wayne got his test results back today. His tumors are stabilized and are slightly smaller than last scan. We are so thankful! The plan going forward is 2 more rounds and then a nice, long break over the holidays. We are looking so forward to that time, I can't even begin to express it in words.

One of the hardest things (for me) about chemo is that they do not allow children in the treatment room (for good reason). So it leaves me out in the cold while he is there. I am always grateful that his Dad comes down to keep him company, I am, but it's hard to chase after kids and not be distracted when I know Wayne is at the hospital undergoing chemo without me beside him. I know there are a lot of people who feel just as helpless...

I post this picture of Claire because whenever I look at it, it makes me feel so calm. She was focused so intently on the flower that she didn't notice the drool coming out of her mouth. I love that. And as we gear up for another round, I will try as many ways as I can to be calm.

Can't wait to see Wayne tonight. And to have the weekend when he feels so good.

Good Morning

The sunflowers are drying up in my favorite field to take clients for shoots. I had to drag Claire out there before the last patch was gone ...

And wouldn't you know it, my favorite shot doesn't even have a flower in it. All that hurrying for no good reason.

A sneak peek for another family is posted ... You know who you are! :)

Sneak a Peek Here

Breakfast Conversation

Over breakfast this morning, Caeden casually said: "Mom, when Dad gets home I am going to take care of all his cancer bugs."

Me (trying to not be surprised he would say such a thing over a cinnamon roll): "That would be great, buddy. How are you going to do that?"

Him: "Well, all he needs is a shot in the stomach to suck them all out. It won't be too bad."

I think he'd (WE'D) like that very much, Caeden. Very much.

Weekend Update

So, we had a BBQ this weekend. Wayne made pulled pork, ribs, and jalapeno poppers. I was lame and just made beans, but I DID clean the house. That counts. But not as much as the pulled pork, I tell ya.

Everyone came over. And by everyone, I mean most everyone we know. It was so much fun! The food was out of this world - everyone brought food galore, and we ate it. Boy did we eat it.

So, after chatting, chasing kids, eating, chatting some more, drinking some sangria and margaritas, more chasing ... I finally remember to grab my camera. But, dang it, most everyone was already gone. But I did manage to catch my sister (Hi Lindsay! You looked so dang cute tonight.) and Jordan (Hey J!) with C-Bear (who just got her first tooth this morning, thank you.)


I did all sorts of fancy stuff to these. Sharpened for web, saved as sRGB, resized ...
and they look horrible! Going back to old way (the way of not doing anything fancy) to pictures next time. But, tonight I am too lazy and tired to repost, so stick with me here (but clicking on photos to enlarge them does help...)

Wayne heads to Houston tomorrow for 2 days of scans and tests, followed up with a meeting with Dr. Patel. He's got one more week and then round #7 starts a week from today.
It was awesome to have him feeling so good during our bash. Really wonderful way to end the summer. Feeling really grateful and blessed tonight.

Not So Sneak Peek

Adorable children + Gorgeous Mama = a gazillion pictures to proof!

Happy Labor Day weekend!

Date Night

Mila is a teacher at Caeden's school. She is beautiful inside and out ... and I just have a feeling that we're going to be great friends. Don't you love it when you have that feeling?

Well, Mila is coming over tonight to watch the kids while Wayne and I go out for a drink & a appetizer at Capitol Grill - one of his most favorite restaurants ever.

When we lived in KC, and before children, we'd go there about once a week...(fading out to remember what it was like to have disposable income ... OK ... I'm back. Kids are definitely worth the trade...wait ... fading back out again ...)

And all the anticipation for going out has done wonders for our moods. We're hosting a BBQ on Labor Day. Wayne is breaking out the Green Egg and smokin' up some pulled pork & ribs. I'm making my friend Amy's awesome Cowboy Baked Beans, etc. Hopefully everyone will come! Maybe I will go 'Pioneer Woman Style' and take pictures of Wayne's secret rib technique.

Also, have a photoshoot tomorrow and am going to paint Caeden's room.

Busy around here! Wish I could say the same for our dang' basement. Plumber and Electrician were supposed to be here and done by today ... and neither have shown up. Kind of the way it goes, so I hear.

Oh well. We have date night to look forward to and a BBQ to plan!

Latest Finds

Peaches are still showing up at the Farmer's Market here in Colorado ... and all I've done with them this year is cut them up for my 15 month old (that still does not have teeth). But I came across this recipe, and well, Peach Cupcakes sound divine, don't they?


The Framing Companies I am using are amazing. Two are totally custom and the options are limitless. Wild Sorbet & Firefly Frames & Obrien-Schridde Designs.


The Vintage Pearl was featured on Nie Nie's blog. The design is simple but so sentimental. The perfect gift for someone dear to you.

I love design blogs, and Apartment Therapy is a blog based out of NYC. This particular link is to a room with fabulous frame design above the bed. In case you were ever wondering how to decorate that space for yourself ...

And last, a yummy tomato corn salad ... for those lucky enough to find/grow fresh tomatoes ...

Secret to a Happy Marriage

(Our first date after Caeden was born circa 2005)

We haven't been focusing much on the marriage side of things around here. Stress has us
annoyed with the little things about each other. You know sometimes when you just aren't clicking with your partner??

I say this for a reason.

The reason is, the other day I posted on my brother-in-law's blog that I needed a date night, and jokingly wondered if Wayne would be up for going to California.

Well, he read that comment.

And looked into tickets to fly us there.

He mentioned this last night, while we were contemplating whether our family vacation should include airline tickets OR hotel rooms in Jackson, WY that run a cool $4oo a night.

We end up confused and discouraged and go to sleep without any sort of plan at all.

But last night, after his comment about California, I tossed and turned in bed, afraid to wake him up, but wanting to tell him how much that airline search meant to me. Even if we go nowhere - he was paying attention to what I (jokingly) mentioned. And it is something he has always been really good at - paying attention. And something I am not so good at. I seem to bounce from one thing to the next, juggling all the balls in the air and trying not to drop one - and never really noticing what color they are.

No matter if we get on each others' nerves, it's the little things like paying attention that are actually the huge things that make everything OK. I really believe it's the secret to a happy (not perfect, but truly happy) marriage. I really love that about Wayne. And when he does things like that, it makes me sit up and take notice of what things I can do to be better to him. The thing is, a good partner makes you want to be a better person. To grow, to change - for the better. And that is what he does for me.

So, he mentioned he was in the mood for Capital Grill's calamari this morning. So, I have a friend coming to the house on Thursday night and that is what we're going to do (Surprise, Wayne!). Because paying attention is important. It's really, really important.

This blog is posting about other secrets to happy marriages right now. It's a good read.

Weekend Update

There's a farm in the middle of town. Target has built across the street from it, Sports Authority down the block from it, and restaurants galore surround it. But the farm remains with it's big red barns, horses that look at you (wondering why you were at Target again), and a little unassuming house with it's porch light on most days and nights.

Caeden fell in love with the old Combine sitting on the property, and every time we would pass it, he would wonder outloud about the Farmer. "Mom, do you think he will drive the Combine today? Mom - Mom. Moooooooom! Where is the farmer? Do you think he'll let ME drive the Combine?"

On and On.

Then one day he said, "Mom, how about you take my picture with the Combine?"

SOLD! I drove our SUV down that Farmer's dirt road, past the horses (who clearly thought I was lost - Target is across the street, lady), and up to the house. No one was around, so I left a note, asking pretty please to have permission to photograph Caeden on their property.

And in my excitement, I left Wayne's phone number instead of mine.

He was irritated by that, but whatever. Details, details.

So, after Farmer Joe called back and said no problem! we went back out and took some pictures.

He had neat old gas pumps, too. Which I couldn't just walk by.

And that was how our weekend ended.

It started pretty good, too, but I don't have pictures of anything else. Short and sweet:

1. Mom and Dad (Donna and Dave) arrive from Rapid City and stay for the weekend.
2. BBQ at Mom & Ken's house. We ate ah-maz-ing steak, salad, & potatoes. Most everyone drank too much (except for 2 lame-o's: a certain someone who has a baby to put to bed and a certain someone with no hair who had to drive certain parents home).
3. Uncle Jim & Aunt Marlys stop in to visit on Sunday ...

And poof! The weekend is gone.

Bathroom Ideas

I fear these pictures are so dang little that you won't be able to see this, but photoshop keeps shrinking everything down into this itty bitty size and I am tired of trying to fix it. Sorry about that! *Edited to add* Just click on the picture - it comes up normal sized.

For the same price as a cherry double vanity (which is what we have in our other bathrooms), I can have 2 pedestal sinks and beadboard put up in the bathroom. I love this style so much, so I am going to swap it out. This bathroom is going to be so dang cute that we may just have to relocate our bed/bath to downstairs.

I'm only half kidding.

So, the mirrors in the bathroom picture are from Pottery Barn. I love the shelf that is under the mirror for perfume or a place to put a candle.

The sconces are from PB, too. They are $5 more than the ones at Home Depot and are so much better looking. I just love a deal.

The sinks I am debating between are both from Kohler at Home Depot. The square one, which I LOVE or this one ... which I like, too - it's more vintage.

I'm doing white subway tile and a hexagonal white tile on the floor.

There are no windows, so doing my best to make it light and bright.

Also.

The closet in the bedroom is HUGE. I don't think it's practical. Trying to work up the courage to tell my old-school contractor that I want him to change it: Push the closet to one side, and then have him build a little desk area for a guest's laptop, etc.

Wayne is getting some blood work done this morning to see where his counts are. If he needs a transfusion or things are looking worrisome, I'll post an update.

Finally, I'll leave you with this story emailed to me by my friend Kellie. She's a teacher and always has the best stories! Take it away, Kellie:

So I needed a good laugh today, and got one so I thought I would share.

One of my students is a cute little cowboy..cute as a button...small, with stories galore and actions to go with them. He loves to talk and LOVES school...very involved, loves to help the other kids and I team him up with my Down's Syndrome boy and he is patient...everything you could ask for in a student. Everything he says and does revolves around his life on the ranch. He is so cute, I could just gobble him up.

So today, we were discussing similes. You know...The man was as mad as a hornet....type of stuff. He raises his hand and tells me to please come read his similies...He is soooooooooooo excited! I get over there and peer down at his paper. About this time, my eyes start trying to focus on the paper cuz I really don't know that I am actually seeing what I think I am seeing. He starts to read, "Listen to this, Mrs. Burns....The bulls balls are as big as a basketball." I stand there, trying to think of another explanation to his sentence....I am thinking "Do bulls play with balls like dolphins?"...trying to come up with ANY other reasoning other than what I think might be the true meaning. So he goes on, "Oh, and look at this one: Carter's bull's balls are as big as the moon". By this time, I am trying to hold it in. I say, "Now Blake, are you talking about the boy parts on a bull?" And he looks up at me, so proud with rosey cheeks and says, "Yes! And they are HUGE, Mrs. Burns! Me and my dad....." I stop him. I say, "Um, Blake, it looks like you understand similes, and I am happy that you do. However, this is something that we really can't write about at school." He looks up at me in disbelief, then hangs his head, drops his shoulders, and says, "But why not? They are!" I tried to explain why, but how do you get that point across when "the bulls balls" are a constant topic of conversation in his life? I thought I was going to die laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I needed that A LOT!

How it sucks you in

The internet. Am I the only one who sits online all night after the kids are in bed? How embarrassing to admit! But there are things to DO, people.

Like. Look for bathroom ideas (for the basement). Which leads me to a site that leads me to a site that leads me here: Farm Chicks. To this fab idea:



Which, of course, has NOTHING to do with bathrooms but has everything to do with cute and practical.

And now it's 10:30 and my eyes are burning and I still have no clue on bathroom fixtures.

But I do have a great idea for knives.

8 Things

1. Basement is being framed. Pictures to come soon!
2. Caeden spent the night with Mimi and brought home homemade food and slime.
3. Claire will not nap. Will not nap. Will not.
4. Wayne's white blood count is almost zero.
5. Creating a digital workflow that I will follow every.single.time so I am not up until 2am editing pictures.
6. Need to mow the back yard (only got to the front and ran out of: time, energy, good weather)
7. Joined the gym (again) last week and still haven't been there. I see all the Mom's in their cute workout clothing, dropping their kids off at school, and I think "Yeah, right. You aren't going either. You are just a better faker than I am."
8. Ran into a teacher at Caeden's school that stopped me in the hall. She asked me how we were doing, and what she could do to help. I promptly burst into tears. Her genuine kindness took me by surprise. It shouldn't, but it did.

Tired.

Wayne is tired. I am tired.

More tomorrow. Hopefully after some sleep...




And some coffee.

Sweet Baby Session

I had the privilege of photographing this sweet, darling little honey earlier this week. I couldn't sleep for two days because I wanted nothing more than to work on her images. Such a beauty and so, so sweet. I have a gazillion favorites. Can't wait to see what her parents pick out as theirs.

I started a photography blog to showcase my sessions, but really, I link it from here anyway, so I'm just going to post them here. A little business, a little personal. It's all good, right?

Day 5

Wayne is done. And is doing fantastic! We're watching his blood count and making sure he rests, but he made it through without getting neurotoxicity. Such a blessing.

Our basement started today. I have been scheming about the kids' playroom that will be down there and love this:

(Land of Nod)

1. I like the wood floors, which forgive paint, glue, and glitter much easier than carpet does. On a budget friendly note, anyone have any experience installing a Pergo-type floor? I was thinking we could do it ourselves...? Is it as easy as it looks? I am sucker for HGTV and think I can do anything with a few nails and glue.

2. I like the frame wallpaper. It's absolutely genius. Not only for the kids, but for anyone who visits us. I am specifically asking for a smooth drywall finish in the playroom for the purpose of this wallpaper.



3. The kids have a table and chair set, and lots of colorful props/organizational stuff. It won't take much to make their playroom super fun and gender neutral.

Well, that's the playroom. More inspiration coming soon.

Day 4

We did a little of this ...


And a lot of this ...


And some of this, too...

While we waited for Wayne to come home from chemo. He is still doing great! He is tired and chemo'd up, but he isn't toxic. Each day I breathe a little easier, thinking that if he does OK then they will do round 7. Each round is so important.

Here is to staying strong ... and those who root him on.

P.S. Photographed a sweet honey of a girl last night. You can take a peek on my new photography blog here: Sneak Peek

Day 3

Wayne is doing fantastic! He is still eating, has no toxicity, and took his laptop so that he could work today.

You cannot believe what a blessing this is. He is tired, yes, but he is lucid! :)

More news ...

We are finishing our basement and it starts today! This is exciting for us because we have run out of room (my office is in the dining room and Wayne is in the loft which doesn't give him the privacy he needs to work during conference calls). We're adding another bedroom and bathroom, a family room, office area, and a huge storage room filled with built in shelving to store everything else (Am I alone in the fact I have 50 Christmas boxes filled with ornaments?).


This also means when our family is here, they have a comfortable place to stay. Should take 2 months to finish ... just in time for the holidays!



I am being way to liberal with exclamation points. Time to lay off the coffee.

Day 2

Wayne had a great day yesterday. He took his laptop to the infusion center and was able to work. Today he ate breakfast, talking all morning about how he is feelin' fine.

Such a relief!

Dave is here and they left together this morning for Day 2.

So far so good.